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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Formality of dress for military wedding?

Hopefully this goes here! I have a question regarding guest attire for my cousin's wedding. (I apologize beforehand if any of my military-related terminology is wrong. I'm from the very civilian wing of the family and not used to these terms.)

My cousin is marrying a naval officer in the spring. The groom's father is a military official. My cousin's mother (my aunt) said the groom, his groomsmen, and other military attendees will be wearing "evening dress." I did some research and it appears that naval evening dress is the equivalent of white or black tie. Naturally, the Internet and bridal blogs are filled with conflicting advice about what guests should wear. My aunt and cousin have both said "whatever makes you feel comfortable," which is kind but I'd also like to not wear the wrong thing and look ridiculous!

Other relevant information: Afternoon church service, dinner at 5. Transportation is provided. Reception venue is a yacht club.

Question(s) for me as a guest: Should I wear a gown, assuming that "evening dress" is essentially white or black tie? Secondly, should my husband rent a tuxedo? I'm just not sure if civilians are supposed to match the formality of the military dress.

Thank you!

Re: Formality of dress for military wedding?

  • I would go with cocktail dress and suit unless the invite says black tie.
  • Ditto PPs. Cocktail dress and suit. A black or white tie invite will say so on the invitation. From what your family has said, there is no indication at all that it is white or black tie.
  • Another vote for cocktail dress & suit
  • Went to a black-tie military wedding in August.  Other than FOG and my FI, no one wore black tie, and only 4 military men were in their dress blues.  There were maybe 3 gowns, but everyone else wore a suit or cocktail dress.  FI felt overdressed all night...

    I would use the time as a bigger indicator here.  The ceremony is in the afternoon, and traditionally, weddings must start after 5:00 pm to be considered black-tie.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2015
    A black tie event never starts before 6 so anything more than a cocktail dress and suit would be inappropriate.
  • Another vote for a cocktail dress and suit...  If anything "The Little Black Dress" is the way to go since it can cover a spectrum.  A friend of mine who recently attended what she termed as "Marine Corps Prom" (She's a retired Naval Officer) wore a tea length gown and that's about as formal of a military event as it gets.    
  • Still another vote for a cocktail dress and suit.  That sounds right for a formal wedding in the afternoon.
  • Another vote for cocktail dress and suit from an active duty member. Gown and tux would be too formal for an afternoon wedding, and imo, the groom and groomsmen are setting too formal of a tone for the time of day by wearing evening dress.  I mean, it's called evening dress for a reason.

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  • Thank you for the help, everyone! I have a couple of cocktail dress options that will work.

    Unrelated, I just realized the church service is at 3 and cocktail hour starts at 5:30, according to my aunt. Unless this is a 2.5-hour church service (and I doubt it is), we get to experience the dreaded gap. No way am I wearing a gown for that, and what are we supposed to do for an hour and a half when the reception is only 10 minutes away?!
  • Thank you for the help, everyone! I have a couple of cocktail dress options that will work.

    Unrelated, I just realized the church service is at 3 and cocktail hour starts at 5:30, according to my aunt. Unless this is a 2.5-hour church service (and I doubt it is), we get to experience the dreaded gap. No way am I wearing a gown for that, and what are we supposed to do for an hour and a half when the reception is only 10 minutes away?!

    Ugh, the gap. Apparently you'll have to entertain yourselves. That blows
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2015
    Thank you for the help, everyone! I have a couple of cocktail dress options that will work.

    Unrelated, I just realized the church service is at 3 and cocktail hour starts at 5:30, according to my aunt. Unless this is a 2.5-hour church service (and I doubt it is), we get to experience the dreaded gap. No way am I wearing a gown for that, and what are we supposed to do for an hour and a half when the reception is only 10 minutes away?!

    We usually go antiquing or if we're staying at a hotel go do something there (or check in)...  Wrap the gift... shop for the gift... 
  • MesmrEwe said:
    Thank you for the help, everyone! I have a couple of cocktail dress options that will work.

    Unrelated, I just realized the church service is at 3 and cocktail hour starts at 5:30, according to my aunt. Unless this is a 2.5-hour church service (and I doubt it is), we get to experience the dreaded gap. No way am I wearing a gown for that, and what are we supposed to do for an hour and a half when the reception is only 10 minutes away?!

    We usually go antiquing or if we're staying at a hotel go do something there (or check in)...  Wrap the gift... shop for the gift... 
    If someone makes me wait around for another three hours for the rest of the event to begin, they're definitely not getting a gift. 


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