I have a friend who has waited a long time to get married. She was in my wedding and offered to throw me a shower, but my mother in law had already offered and started planning. She and her boyfriend are planning to get engaged and have a wedding in spring of next year. Since the engagement is still pending hardly anyone knows, but she is already planning.
Her family (mom, sister(matron of honor), maid of honor, and 1 bridesmaid) are out of state and her boyfriends mother is not in the picture. I am about an hour and a half from her and there is another local soon to be bridesmaid. She made the comment that the shower would fall on me and the other local bridesmaid and her family would throw her one at home. I personally find it in poor taste to ask anyone to host a shower for you. I did previously mention that we could all work together to plan one since only 1 person is within an hour of her. I have no issue helping, but feel that typically someone offers or everyone decides to do it together.
My husband and I are currently renovating a house and recently found out we are expecting our first child and I've been severely sick. I simply do not have the time, money, or energy to plan a shower for her. We are close and maybe at another time or if it weren't such a rushed event I might feel differently. I just simply do not feel that I can commit. Is it rude to simply tell her this and advise that I cannot take the lead on the planning? I am willing to help, but would rather address that later with whoever might plan it. Otherwise, she is kind of the type to volunteer you for things and it might still be a grey area. Thoughts/advice appreciated.
Thanks!