Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Alternative wording to "giving" away the Bride

Im sure this is already on here somewhere, but I can't seem to find it! My dad feels very strongly about not saying that he is "giving" me away during the ceremony. He thinks its sexist and old school, and I love him for that :)

Are there any alternatives that brides have used in its place?

Thanks in advance!

Re: Alternative wording to "giving" away the Bride

  • "Who supports this woman in her decision to be married?" is a good one IMO. Your dad can then answer, "Her mother and I." (or her father and I or just 'I do' or however your family is set up, don't want to assume)
    image
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 

    Jax43615InLoveInQueensthisismynickname2
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    "Who supports this woman in her decision to be married?" is a good one IMO. Your dad can then answer, "Her mother and I." (or her father and I or just 'I do' or however your family is set up, don't want to assume)

    This is a good line. 

    Even better at taking any appearance of sexism out of this would be if "Who supports this man in his decision to be married?" is also said to the groom's family as well.

    Or if it is a same-sex marriage, if the same line is said to both families.

    MairePoppyartbyallie
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
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    I agree with your dad. Let him escort you down the aisle and shake your fi's hand. He can quietly say whatever he likes or nothing at all.

    If you want some kind of official question/statement, I like Jen's idea.
                
    InLoveInQueens
  • Another vote for who supports "this woman" in this marriage and it opens up the door for his parents to do the same for him. It could be the start of a wonderful new tradition. Because we all know, even once we are married (no matter what age), we are still all our daddy's little girl, or mama's little boy.
  • Similar to climbingwife... my parents both walked me down the aisle - dad shook H's hand, mom hugged H, I hugged both parents, they sat down and the ceremony began. No need to have any official statement at all if it's not important to you.


  • My dad walked me down the aisle, hugged me, shook then-FI's hand and went and sat down. At the beginning of the ceremony, the officiant asked both sets of our parents to stand and asked "Do you give your loving support to the union of this couple?" Our parents said "we do", they were asked to be seated, and that was it. They were happy to be able to show their support, without contributing to old fashioned sexist notions.
    I love all of this.
    littlemushroomYogaSandykimmiinthemitten
  • Both my parents walked me. I was adamant I wasn't being given away, since I'm not property. I don't remember exactly what the minister said. He said he doesn't support giving away or "to obey" unless both parts of the couple say it and ask for it to be in. I think he said something like : who brings this woman here today? Both my parents answered, "we do." I really like the idea of having it asked if the groom's family too. Or just skipped completely.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 
    this is what we did.  Not giving away or anything like that.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:
    We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 
    this is what we did.  Not giving away or anything like that.
    Same. My Dad escorted me down the aisle, passed me off to Dh, the two of us stepped up to priest and ceremony began. But I believe in the Catholic church there isn't even an option for the "who gives away" part of the ceremony because they always wanted it perfectly clear that the bride and groom choose to give themselves away to each other freely, and no one else has a say etc.
    image
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    lyndausvi said:
    We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 
    this is what we did.  Not giving away or anything like that.
    Same. My Dad escorted me down the aisle, passed me off to Dh, the two of us stepped up to priest and ceremony began. But I believe in the Catholic church there isn't even an option for the "who gives away" part of the ceremony because they always wanted it perfectly clear that the bride and groom choose to give themselves away to each other freely, and no one else has a say etc.
    Correct.  In the Catholic marriage, the theolgy is such that the bride and groom freely give of themselves, which is why you'll (almost) never hear a priest / deacon ask "who gives this woman?" or anything like that.



    Anniversary
  • We did same as @princessleia22 ;

    My dad walked me down the aisle, gave my hand to DH, then returned to his seat in the front row. All four our parents stood and answered "We do" when the officiant asked something about parents supporting the marriage.

    You could also leave this out entirely. Dad walks you down the aisle, greets your FI, hugs/kiss you, then returns to his seat. 
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