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I almost died and no one cared

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
I’ve worked at a 25-employee firm for over 20 years. I’ve also had breast cancer for 15 years. About two years ago my cancer traveled to my brain, and I had to leave my job because of the treatment I was receiving. I almost died, yet I never heard from my co-workers. Not one even called to say, “How are you feeling?” My boss told me he wanted me to come to the office holiday luncheon, yet never followed up with the date and time. I am so disappointed and hurt by their lack of empathy. I thought we were a family, but I’ve found out otherwise. Should I be as upset as I am, or should I let this go? I don’t want to die without saying anything. Can I write them a letter explaining how hurt I am?

—Tired of Holding It In

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Re: I almost died and no one cared

  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    That's messed up that not one person would call or send a note, but I say focus on the people that love you.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2015
    I want to believe that it's as straight forward as she's presenting it...

    BUT, and I feel like Louis C.K. and his "Blahblahblah is really bad,...but MAYBE..." bit. 

    She's had cancer for 15 years (which sounds like a nightmare) and it makes me wonder a) if she's been insufferable to deal with since she's been sick for so long (just because you're ill doesn't mean you can't be an asshole) and/or if she's had a several health scares in the past and people thought that this was more of the same? 

    ALSO, side note/rant...

    When my grandma died, I had a great manager and supervisor.  My manager personally called me and she also made sure flowers were sent on the company's behalf. 

    FFWD to MIL dying...my supervisor isn't as great and my manager was on vacation...So no one sent flowers.  My good work friend made a card, had it passed around to my team for people to sign, and mailed it on her own.  

    I've been at my job 15 years.  Was I slightly salty?  Yes...but there's nothing I could really 'do' about it and being shitty about it is my issue only (and worthless when there are so many bigger things going on).  Plenty of people sent flowers, including two really good friends of mine.  

    So lady, focus on the people who are there for you. 
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    mrs.conn23 said:

    BUT, and I feel like Louis C.K. and his "Blahblahblah is really bad,...but MAYBE..." bit.
    I <3 that bit. 

    I know this sounds terrible, and I'm not saying it's an excuse, but after being sick for 15 out of 20 years that she's worked there...maybe they're just used to it, for lack of a better term.  Of course it's a big deal to her, understandably, but maybe to them it's same old, same old.
    �
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I didn't catch the 15 years. Yeah, I'm sure she has had many cards and cards over the years.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    She needs to play Elsa ... "Let it go!" My guess is co-workers saw it as "same ole' same ole" given she's had it for that long.  Doesn't make it feel any better, but really - her coworkers were probably of the thought that she was taking care of business and they were being flexible so she could be gone from work during treatment, but she left for a reason, the people that she left aren't expected to maintain relationships with her after she's moved on regardless of how long she'd been there.


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