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The Wedding from Hell

Okay here is the (apparently long awaited) story from my cousin's train-wreck wedding. 

Wednesday was the day we got the FB invite to the "shower". Hosted by the Maid of Honor.

Thursday morning we all flew into Austin and made our way to San Antonio. My cousin (B) didn't have anything planned for this day. However, while checking the wedding website to get prepared for the cookout in a few days and seeing how far we needed to travel, someone noticed that they planned a dinner for everyone for Friday night at a place on the Riverwalk. We were not told to check the website, just happened upon it, and were told to RSVP ASAP. 

Friday I got a text from B asking to help spread the word to be at the restaurant at 7pm SHARP because they wouldn't seat anyone until the whole party was there. At 5 of 7 B texts saying he and Bride (K) are running about a half hour late and want us to try to sit. We were able to sit and they came shortly after. This dinner was paid for by each guest.. not the Hosts B and K.

After this was the "Bachelor/Bachelorette" party. We split up by guys and girls, but K only lasted out at one bar, until she went and collected B and wanted to go home. Everyone else who was invited continued parting without them.

Saturday was the "Bring your own meat and beer" cookout. We had to go to the grocery store because believe it or not, beer and meat wouldn't travel from MA to TX. After spending a pretty penny on picking out exactly what we each wanted to cook (this comes into play later) we head to the house. On the way we see who we think is K at the community pool. We think it's odd but continue to the house. B is with the FOG, BM, and Groomsman picking up the tuxes and K is at the pool. 

So here we all are at their house, and neither of them are there. Eventually the MOG went to the pool to get the Bride and ask her to come back. She was "overwhelmed" so she needed to get away. (WTEverlivingF!!!!!) B comes back around the same time. K gets into the shower and stayed in bedroom for over an hour. B was running around like crazy trying to get the groomsman fitted in their tuxes because most of them didn't fit. 

Finally they decide it's time to cook, however B and K don't want to grill so someone else has to grill. My cousin D gives B the meat we picked out to be grilled first. We picked some good stuff at the grocery store thinking it was for us. When it was done cooking, B offered it to all the party guests. We ran in to get it before someone else did. If we knew we were buying for everyone we would have picked other things. Go to eat our sides that we brought and find out they were put out for people to munch on for apps since no one was cooking at first. UGH!!

Sunday was the shower. We had to carpool over to the place because the men had to collect all the luggage and transfer to our second hotel for the second half of the trip. We get there and the MOH is running around yelling "I am not ready, not a thing will be done on time.. I don't know why we are even doing this!" (Yeah, we are asking ourselves the same thing!) So being the family we are, we dropped all our stuff and set everything up. It was a "brunch" for about 25/30 people. She didn't have enough chairs so we all stood until another BM came with a bunch of bag chairs. The brunch food consisted of some fruit, and one quiche.

The bride didn't want to play any games. We sat around for a good hour before the Bride's grandma finally said "Okay let's get things rolling!" She opened gifts and thanked us, and then we all promptly left and went to Chilis. We were STARVING. That night we all went out as a family and both K and B declined to go.

Monday was the wedding. We had found out Saturday at the BYOBBQ that they only purchased 250 beers for a guest list of over 100, and 6 bottles of wine. We also found out that we could bring in our own, so we all hit up the packie and brought our own. We were told the bartender would hold it for us. When we got to the bar after the ceremony, we saw all the beer we bought lined up as options that you could get. When we finally got up to the bar she took them down for only us, but we did lose a few to other people who ordered them before we got there, thinking they were for anyone.

The dinner was BBQ served buffet style on paper plates with plastic silverware. While it was delicious, it was odd and didn't fit any aspects of the rest of the wedding. 

Tuesday morning was brunch. There wasn't enough seating in the alcove that the restaurant put us in, so the MOH and her BF were sitting on the other side of a short wall. We felt bad, so we squeezed our table, so they could join. There was one waitress for over 25 people so most were done eating before we even got food. We paid for ourselves and then headed out.

I think that covers all the atrocities. At the end of the day, the smile on my cousin's face when he was watching his bride walk down the aisle made it a little more bearable. We were all very nervous that she would bail, but she didn't. She didn't talk to many of us at all the whole time either. I just hope he is happy. 

CN: Don't invite people to an out of state wedding, make them pay for everything, and treat them like shit, for example, not showing up at your own house for a party that you planned, and expect them to be okay with it. They will attend because there really is no turning back at that point, but they will all talk shit about it to everyone they know behind your back, no matter how much they love you.

Ugh that made me ragey typing it all out again!! Sorry for the gigantic novel.
friends tv show funy

Re: The Wedding from Hell

  • Holy wow. I don't even want to know how much your guys ended up spending.  
  • Holy shit on a shingle. I don't even have any words.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • Jeez .... there's lack of etiquette, then there's this :\ Sorry to hear you had to deal with that!
  • wow that is awful on so many levels.


  • Whaaaaaaat! That is terrible! Has the family placed bets on when they will be divorced? 

  • Wow, that's horrendous. And I don't use that word lightly.
  • Wow I am so sorry you had to endure this. How can people be so clueless???
  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2015
    All of these reactions are basically every emotion I had that weekend! I could not believe any of what was happening.

    Kevin Hart Shaking With Disgust

    Also the BM, who is the brother of the Groom, and his Wife have not spoken since. It got really ugly and I feel bad. 
    friends tv show funy
  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2015
    WHY CAN'T I GIF?!?!?!?!!?

    ETA: I got it.. weird as shit TK! Get it together!!

    friends tv show funy
  • Wait, the best man hasn't spoken to his wife, or he hasn't spoken to his brother?? What happened??


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  • Oy vey! Sounds like a shit show!
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa

  • @GoldenPenguin  and @wink0erin sorry, I typed super fast trying to get out of here on Wednesday, so that didn't make sense. The Best Man and his wife have not spoken to the Groom and his wife since. BM's wife told me that the Groom and BM butted heads a few times leading up to the wedding. 

    One thing I know of is that about 2 weeks before the wedding the Bride posted a link to an online article about not having kids. She tagged the Groom and posted something about how she is glad they are on the same page about kids and not having them because they are "totes gross." The Groom went on to comment that he was glad also that he found someone else who doesn't like kids. The BM has a one year old son, and we found out a few days before we left for the wedding that his wife is pregnant with baby #2. He commented that it's one thing to not want kids of your own, and another thing to not like kids at all. It went back and forth and got kind of ugly so the BM left with "I don't get into fights on the internet" and stopped commenting.

    At the wedding, they never requested a high chair for the baby, nor did they have anything to drink that was non-alcoholic for the baby, other kids that attended, or the pregnant momma. They all had to go buy their own drinks and bring them in.

    That is just one thing that I know of. I also heard a little bit about how both the BM and his Wife offered to help them with many different aspects of the wedding, like calling themselves and trying to get a room block since it fell through for everyone and inconvenienced many of the guests, and they declined the help.
    friends tv show funy
  • @caseface5 Ugh, yeah. I totally understand people not wanting to have kids or people not being big fans of kids, but to call them "totes gross" is insanely immature. Also, NOTHING nonalcoholic at the wedding? Wtf??? 

    Clearly bride and groom are selfish as f. I'm glad you lived to tell the tale. 

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