I can hardly type this out because thinking about it makes me so angry.
Earlier this year my husband [31M] and I decided to spend Christmas with his family for the first time since my daughter was born last September. Since they live 12 hours away, we decided to stay for a few weeks before Christmas so they could spend loads of time with Annie [13 months].
We arrived early like we planned and everything was great. I've had a few disagreements with my mother-in-law Trish [56F] in the past over my parenting style (she criticised me for using disposable diapers, buying baby food from the supermarket and not raising Annie as an "organic" baby) but everything seemed great.
After a day or two settling in my husband and I decided to pick up a few gifts from a mall around an hour away before the last-minute rush kicked in. My father-in-law [60M] tagged along. Trish said she was happy to take care of Annie.
We got back a few hours later and Annie was down for a nap on a blanket I didn't recognise. Trish said one of her friends dropped by and gave it as an early Christmas gift. It looked pretty old/worn, but I figured one of her hippy friends was just recycling it.
The next two weeks were fine, aside from Trish making a point to prepare meals for Annie from scratch. I mentioned this to my husband and he said to just let her be. Annie mostly mushed the food Trish gave her with her hands/threw the bowls on the floor, as she's been doing at the moment. Trish said it would "take her a while to get used to nutritious meals".
I was getting sick of her meddling but it was only for a few weeks, so for the sake of the holidays I let it slide.
The day after Christmas Annie was really unsettled and wouldn't stop fidgeting and crying. I took her temperature and she had a fever, so I kept an eye on her for the next few days and it thankfully started to go down. This morning, she started to get a rash and blisters on her arms and legs and I freaked out.
I was packing a bag to drive to see a doctor when Trish asked where I was going. I told her Annie had a rash and I was taking her to see a doctor.
She got a weird smug smile on her face and told me there was nothing to worry about. When I asked her what she was talking about she said without even looking at Annie that what she had was just Chickenpox.
I asked her how she could possibly know that and she casually admitted one of her friend's grandkids had chickenpox a few weeks ago so she asked them to wipe a blanket over the child's arms, legs and face and bring it to her house.
At this point I couldn't believe what I was hearing so I asked if that blanket was the "gift" Annie was sleeping on. She said it was.
I lost my shit.
To be honest I don't really remember what I said because I was up most of the night for two days checking on Annie. I just unleashed on Trish asking what the fuck was wrong with her.
My husband and father-in-law came to try to calm things down and Trish dug in her heels and said chickenpox was "the best and most natural thing" for Annie to build up her immunity. I already have a vaccination schedule in place with my paediatrician and she was booked in to get immunised for chickenpox at 18 months.
We drove to see the doctor and he confirmed she had it. He said I'll have to cut Annie's nails short and might have to tape socks on her hands while she sleeps because kids so young can scratch until they bleed and that will leave scars.
On the drive back my husband started making excuses for Trish, that she was only doing what she thought was best. I couldn't believe he was defending her and we fought most of the way home until I told him to stop talking to me.
Annie's been scratching like crazy and I just had to tape socks over her hands. Trish tried to talk to me when we got back and I told her to get out of my sight.
We were meant to stay until Wednesday but I just finished packing up our stuff so we can leave first thing in the morning.
I'm so angry I can't even think. Whenever I hear Trish moving around in the kitchen my heart starts beating faster and I feel like going out there and grabbing her by the hair. I don't ever want to see her again or let my daughter see her again.
What can I say to make her and my husband realise the enormity of what she's done? (I don't think I can speak coherently to their faces until Annie gets better.)
tl;dr: Mother-in-law deliberately infected my daughter with chickenpox. I'm so angry I feel like physically harming her. I need advice on what to say to make her realise what she's done.