Looking for an average that was spent on FI/DH's wedding band

AW3380 · January 2016

Long story short, FI has a ring that was his Great-Grandmother's that he wants redesigned for his wedding band. He went to speak with a jeweler today that has worked with several co-workers of his and this guy offers a good discount to them. He text me and told me that the cost would be around $800-$1100 to redesign the ring and I about choked! I know FI spent a good amount on my set and I would like to do the same but I just cannot afford that much with all the wedding expenses we have left. I looked at bands at many of the major jewelry stores in the area and can get a nice one with some diamonds for $300-$500. Am I being cheap? Or is this price completely atrocious?

luckya23 · January 2016

My DH has a completely plain white gold band that I got on clearance for $125. He didn't want any diamonds or anything, and thankfully he had a tungsten "man-gagement" ring so he knew by then that he didn't like tungsten!

Maybe you can get something cheaper now and save up later (or use wedding gifts)? Considering the price of my rings though, I would have gotten him almost whatever he wanted. I'm not into passed down rings though, your marriage is about the two of you, IMO.

ETA: I would stay away from overpriced chain stores.

lyndausvi · January 2016

We used a diamond from my MIL and custom made my setting. It cost about $3K (did included extra diamonds).

Basically they are custom designing a ring. I do not think the quoted amount is unreasonable.

I really like the idea of taking a family heirloom and making a new ring. I would sit with your FI and see if both of you can figure out how to make this work.

cgss11 · January 2016

I would discuss it together, maybe it can just be a joint expense out of the general wedding fund, as opposed to all on you.

I did buy DH's band and him mine (and yes his was cheap compared to mine), but I wouldn't have cared if my band had come out of my account. Our money is still seperate, but we don't really consider it only mine, or his. It's our money, just in different accounts. Being that this is a family thing, and what he wants, I would really try to figure out how to make it work.

thefanciestbeckler · January 2016

For a custom ring, that doesn't sound like too much. But if it's out of the range of what you can afford right now, maybe see what he thinks about getting a plain gold band and then saving up for the redesign in the future.

randomslove · January 2016

My FI and I looked at rings for him for a while and he didn't see anything he was comfortable with... until he saw a kickstarter with glowing rings. It's about $150, and hand forged carbon fiber with a green luminescent insert. He wants something a little more traditional someday, but I'm glad we found something he loves. He bought his band and I bought mine.

InLoveInQueens · January 2016

My husband and I had our wedding bands made by the same jeweler who reset my engagement ring (he got a ring second hand that absolutely wasn't my style and I got it redone to suit me better, but that's a whole nother story) and our bands together came out to $750.

We had two diamonds that were side stones in my original engagement ring set in our wedding bands and they were also engraved.

OliveOilsMom · January 2016

Our wedding bands were joint purchases for us. H got a Tungsten ring off overstock.com for $50. Mine is just a plain 2mm Platinum band, we paid cash and got it for $400.

IMO, you need to talk with your FI and see what you two can make work. If this is what he wants, for a customized ring, I think the price is worth it. I would try to figure out how to get it done with the budget you currently have. Is there something for the wedding that you can scale back on to give FI his ring? Like favors, types of flowers, centerpieces, etc?

princessleia22 · January 2016

DH and I paid for our rings as a joint wedding expense. My e-ring was a family heirloom of his (it was his grandmothers), so only expense for that was re-sizing.

DH didn't want a metal wedding band, because he works as an electrician and does welding as a hobby. He had a tungsten e-ring... which he stopped wearing when he saw a picture online of a guys whose finger literally exploded when welder connected to the metal ring. So, he ended up finding a ceramic ring with carbon fiber inlay that he really liked. We paid $40 for it on Amazon, then paid $50 for special laser engraving on it (you can't etch engrave a ceramic ring).

My wedding band was custom made gold band and cost about $400.

So, we really didn't spend much on our rings. But, custom jewelry usually costs more, so the quoted prices aren't outrageous. But, if it's something that you can't afford, then you and FI need to discuss that. If you can't discuss and work through a financial issue about a ring, it will be a lot tougher in the future to discuss finances about house and kids.

kvruns · January 2016

his was $800-900 no diamonds in it. There were cheaper ones if he would have chosen a non-gold band but he wanted the durability of gold and wanting to be able to have it resized etc.

CMGragain · January 2016

My daughter spent over $1000 for her husband's platinum band in 2011. I spent about $35 for my husband's 14K band in 1976.

KatWAG · January 2016

I think we spent about $1100 for a white gold ring. But that was what an ounce of gold with selling for at the time.

themosthappy91 · January 2016

My H's was right around $300 I believe. Honestly he wanted to reuse his grandfather's plain gold band- not because he liked it but because it was free- and I convinced him we should spend just a little bit to get him a plain white gold band because he likes the look of that better and it would match mine.

I always knew H was not going to care at all about his ring so I never even considered factoring more than a couple hundred dollars into our budget for his ring. Is this a big surprise to you that your FI is so invested in his ring? Because the price sounds reasonable for what he wants but it's definitely worth a discussion if you were completely unaware this is what he would be planning on.

I'm never heard of a guy's ring having diamonds in it, am I crazy? If H had wanted that I guess I would've said fair is fair but I would hate the look of that on a man for some reason I can't quite specify. I guess just because it's so foreign to me.

thisismynickname2 · January 2016

Shop around. Bear in mind the going rate of metals.

I paid $800 for a thicker sized, palladium ring- no diamonds or jewels, just metal- for DH through a private jeweler (meaning not a chain store). My best friend's husband flaunted convention and ordered a $35 ring on Amazon (and her wedding set was probably around $10k too; not that they couldn't afford something fancier for him).

Don't worry about the cost not being 'good enough.' Get what you can afford with respect to the look your fiance is going for.

thisismynickname2 · January 2016

themosthappy91 said:
I'm never heard of a guy's ring having diamonds in it, am I crazy? If H had wanted that I guess I would've said fair is fair but I would hate the look of that on a man for some reason I can't quite specify. I guess just because it's so foreign to me.

Several men in my social circle have that, but most don't. It's often along these lines. Plus, one of my gay coworkers was just proposed to with a ring very similar to this.

huskypuppy14 · January 2016

My husband's white gold men's wedding band was about 800 or 900. No diamonds. That price sounds reasonable to me, like other's said it's being custom made.
Since he bought my engagement ring, we each bought our own wedding bands. My wedding band was more expensive, so I bought my ring and he bought his.

spockforprez · January 2016

$700ish. Custom made band with our fingerprints engraved on the inside (from Brent&Jess). The ring is 10k white gold and is 6mm width. (Mine matches; it's 2.5mm and was $400ish.)

SP29 · January 2016

DH's plain yellow gold 14K band was around $300. (My 18K white gold plain band was around $450).

I think the quote price from the jeweler is fair, but if you can't afford it, you can't. I imagine you haven't been saving, since it wasn't something you planned for, perhaps opposed to your FI saving up to buy your ring(s)- so I wouldn't feel bad that you can't buy it yourself. Talk to him about, this can be a joint purchase. Once you get married, it's all the same anyway, isn't it?

We bought DH's band from www.e-weddingbands.com. It's an online store out of the US. We liked that there are so options for style, size, karats, and colour. We looked around at a few stores, both chains (Sears, The Bay) and some jewelers and weren't really happy with the selection (found it harder to find a plain yellow gold band, as that's not what is in style currently), nor the price for what you get.

princessleia22 · January 2016

spockforprez said:

$700ish. Custom made band with our fingerprints engraved on the inside (from Brent&Jess). The ring is 10k white gold and is 6mm width. (Mine matches; it's 2.5mm and was $400ish.)

That's where I got my band, too. I love the fingerprint engraving. DH didn't want a metal ring, so we bought him a ceramic one and found somebody that could laser engrave my fingerprint into his ring.

banana468 · January 2016

DH's band is solid platinum and was around $1200. Mine was far less and is platinum with diamonds. The metal type will have a big effect on the cost along with the jeweler's labor.

JoanE2012 · January 2016

I feel like DH's band cost around $250 or so. I honestly can't remember. But I'm pretty sure that the jeweler rang up his band and mine in the same transaction and DH used his credit card to pay. We had a wedding fund by that point that we both contributed to so the funds ultimately came from there.

CMGragain · January 2016

If you are looking for bargains, pawn shops are a great place to shop for a wedding ring. With the high divorce rate, they have lots of men's bands, and plain ones can be buffed and sized to look like new. Be prepared to haggle.
Walmart also had good quality rings at reasonable prices.

kvruns · January 2016

themosthappy91 said:

I'm never heard of a guy's ring having diamonds in it, am I crazy? If H had wanted that I guess I would've said fair is fair but I would hate the look of that on a man for some reason I can't quite specify. I guess just because it's so foreign to me.

I am not a fan of diamonds in guy's rings either. My H was married previously and his had diamonds and I kept thinking please don't pick another with diamonds lol. He looked at a few but in the end decided on something else.

charlotte989875 · January 2016

H wanted the plainest, lightest band he could find. His is titanium and was around $150 I think? we had combined accounts at that point so it was our money not mine or his. I didn't care what kind of band he has, he's the one that wears it so he has to be happy with it. And given what he spent on my e-ring and my bands we would have paid whatever for him to get what he wanted within our budget.

As others have said if you can't afford it get a stand in for the ceremony and purchase what he wants later on (wedding gifts, save up, etc. ). My BIL's ring wasn't ready in time so the jeweler gave them a stock ring for the ceremony.

Maggie0829 · January 2016

H's band was about $250. We first went to the jewelers where he got my e-ring and wedding band. We picked one out and they quoted us $1800. I told H, sorry, but no. I know my H and I know that he would 1) hardly wear the band, and 2) lose it, so spending that amount of money on a wedding band for him seemed unnecessary. H agreed. And guess what? He hardly wear his $250 band that he loves. And he has misplaced it countless times (luckily we have found it months later in some random locations) and also tried to lose it 3 days after our wedding in the beautiful waters of Key West. Good thing I am amazing at those hidden item games because I was able to quickly point it out at the bottom of the ocean.

jenna8984 · January 2016

I agree with others here- why is the price on you to pay? We just divided things as they came in. Like I paid for the attire, so he paid for the DJ, I paid the photographer, so he paid for the rings, etc. You don't have to buy each other's rings if it's not in the budget.

My H's was $125 tungsten. He lost it a few months later in Iceland. Wish we had @maggies0829 there to find it! haha. He replaced it with a $20 rubber ring from Amazon. I think if your FI really wants that ring re-set, just get a cheapy one for now and do that later in a year or two when you have the money.

Jells2dot0 · January 2016

kvruns said:

themosthappy91 said:

I'm never heard of a guy's ring having diamonds in it, am I crazy? If H had wanted that I guess I would've said fair is fair but I would hate the look of that on a man for some reason I can't quite specify. I guess just because it's so foreign to me.

I am not a fan of diamonds in guy's rings either. My H was married previously and his had diamonds and I kept thinking please don't pick another with diamonds lol. He looked at a few but in the end decided on something else.

this was us, too! H's previous wedding band was yellow gold and had diamonds. It was something that did not suit him in any way. It just did not fit his personality at all. So, he now has a thin, plain band. I cannot remember if it's platinum or white gold, but it is certainly not yellow gold.

I'd like to say we paid $500 or $600? I really can't remember, which is bad. All I know is that mine wedding band is about 10 times that! LOL

labro · January 2016

H and I had an idea of the band we'd like, a wider band in a hammered white gold finish but ended up not liking it on him at all. $1200 later and he got a wide white gold band with a diagonal row across it of very tiny diamonds. It suited him and still looked masculine. I bought it for him outside of our wedding budget.

OP, I think the quote sounds pretty reasonable for something custom. This seems pretty important to your FI since this is an heirloom from his family so I'd sit down and talk budget and how you want to handle the costs. Also consider going around for other quotes, but with something custom I'd definitely be picky about who you're working with.

AW3380 · January 2016

Thanks everyone! We talked about it over the weekend and redesigning the old ring is not something his heart was set on but he thought it would be a nice idea. As of right now our finances are still separate and we agreed I would buy his band since he is paying for the cost of my engagement ring and wedding band. We are looking around and considering all options so I am sure we will find something he likes in a price I can afford. If we cannot redesign the ring now, we have talked about doing so at a later date when we do not have wedding expenses and have something made for the both of us since there are enough diamonds to do so.

Looking for an average that was spent on FI/DH's wedding band

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