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Not Engaged Yet

To ask or not to ask? I need your HELP

Hi all,

My girlfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and I am super excited to ask her to be my life partner. Here is my dilemma , we going to Paris end of this year where I think is the perfect spot to ask her, problem is she will know it is coming and it wont be much of a surprise. 
Should I ask her before the end of the year where she will be surprised or should I wait till we in Paris and even though she may expect it I am sure it will be more memorable.

Thanx in advance.

Re: To ask or not to ask? I need your HELP

  • Exciting times!

    I would probably prefer it to be a surprise and my own personal opinion is that Paris proposals are a little bit cliché. If you aren't going till the end of the year its a long time to wait! Proposals are a huge gesture in and of themselves so they can be in a simple setting and still mean the world. My best friend was asked in her living room when they were both in their pyjamas watching a film. Her now husband tied the ring to their dogs collar and called him through - to her it was perfect. Good luck!
                 
  • 1. Being asked to commit to being partners for life is going to be memorable no matter what.

    2. I think it depends on the person, so really only you'll know what's right for you and your girlfriend. I personally am not a fan of huge showy gestures. However, I'm not big on being surprised necessarily either - I find it unnecessary. I'm sort of in the camp of "when you know it, do it." I think it's people and feelings that make things special - not necessarily the place or the time. I don't see the point of waiting and in fact would be pretty ticked off if I found out my SO was ready to move forward and then kept me hanging for a year to have a "moment" or based things on when I would be most surprised. Though I guess since I'm not the type to just passively wait for others to decide my life for me, there would be talks and mutual decisions happening long before it would get to that point anyway. So, if she is the type where having a picture perfect moment is important, then wait. If she's the type who likes surprises and had previously expressed that she would like that, then do it as a surprise.
  • It is going to be special no matter when or where it happens.  If you want to propose now, just do it. 

    Anniversary

  • So we had a trip to Japan and China planned and I had joked with my husband (boyfriend at the time) how great it would be if he proposed on The Great Wall. I had make the remark 6 months before the trip and forgot all about it and wasn't expecting it at all. Well, the night before our trip while we were packing in our bedroom, he whipped out the ring and proposed. I was completely surprised! He said how he did plan to do it on the wall, but he got all freaked out about carrying the ring through security, and what if they opened it in front of me, or what if he lost it. I was so, so thrilled that he did it in our room where he felt comfortable instead. So I say surprise her at any time!

                                                                     

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  • Do what you want. No matter what it will end up being memorable for both of you. It doesn't have to be a special place in order to make it a special occasion.



  • If you're ready to propose, why wait?  As the others have said, no matter what it will be special.  

    Also, as for waiting till you're on vacation.  My only concern would be traveling with the ring.  You'll have to empty your pockets for security, and its obviously not something you're going to check.  I often will put things into my bf's carry-on if I run out of room.  So there's a good possibility she could see the ring before you're able to propose.  
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  • I had a feeling of when FI was going to propose. We had taken a trip to Chicago (his absolute favorite city), we had been dating for 3 years and had talked about getting married so I figured at any point it could happen. Well, one day he was just really insistent on going to the cultural museum before dinner, I thought to myself "wonder if he is going to propose then?" but it was still a special moment. The fact that I wasn't surprised doesn't matter to me at all, what mattered is that I was engaged. 
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  • edited January 2016
    I agree with
    speakeasy14.  If you're ready, go for it.  I wouldn't wait (especially until the end of the year!)
  • I agree withspeakeasy14.  If you're ready, go for it.  I wouldn't wait (especially until the end of the year!)
    I kept wondering if I missed something because the bolded definitely doesn't show up for me until I quote it.




  • @holyguacamole79 not me... op is knottie#####
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  • @speakeasy14 , yes I know.  I wrote "I agree with" originally and somehow TK ate it.
  • labro said:
    I agree withspeakeasy14.  If you're ready, go for it.  I wouldn't wait (especially until the end of the year!)
    I kept wondering if I missed something because the bolded definitely doesn't show up for me until I quote it.






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  • @speakeasy14 If there's something you're not telling us....



    JK ILU




  • @labro don't worry, when I know something, you'll know something 
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  • Swazzle said:
    It's going to be memorable regardless of where you are. My H proposed to me in the middle of our bedroom kitchen on a random Tuesday Wednesday after work. It was the best moment of my life up to that point. 

    If you're ready to propose now, then go for it. I never understand the waiting part when it comes to this. 
    ^^That, edited for my own proposal. 



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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • Thank you for all the feedback I received, I take it the best is not to wait :wink: , I wasn't keen on waiting that long wither. Now to put some plans together.
    Thank you once again.
  • Thank you for all the feedback I received, I take it the best is not to wait :wink: , I wasn't keen on waiting that long wither. Now to put some plans together.
    Thank you once again.
    I had been checking back in on this post hoping for an update! Glad you decided to go for it, good luck!
                 
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