When to send invites/request RSVPs?

Re: When to send invites/request RSVPs?

• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2016

  tigerlily6 said:

  Hi again everybody!
  
  Another etiquette question I've been mulling over. After some lurking, I have picked up that invitations should be sent out 8 weeks in advance, 10 at most. I am getting married on July 2nd; I already sent out STDs around 9 months out (wanted them out early since our wedding will be a holiday weekend), and was planning on following the protocol and sending Invitations beginning of May (immediately following my final exams/ FI graduates), which gives exactly 8 weeks. 
  
  However, the reception hall contract stipulates that they need menu and seating setup finalized 30 days prior to the event. 
  
  In light of that, when should I make RSVPs due? And should invitations be sent out any earlier to accomodate time for guests to get them returned, or not? For those that may have had similar timelines set by reception halls, was there any room for error (if a guest RSVPed a day or two late or something), or did you add some extra seats just to be safe? 

  I would try and push back on your venue if possible.  They do not need a final headcount 30 days prior.  I would ask if you could give them soft numbers (ie those that have RSVP'd yes at that point) 30 days out and then final numbers 2 weeks prior.
  
  You want to give yourself, at most, a one week time frame between when final numbers are due and your RSVP date.  This way you have ample time to follow up with anyone who did not send back their RSVP.

  
  

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• tigerlily6 member

  

  January 2016

  Thanks, @Maggie0829. The wedding coordinator takes Mondays off, but I will call her tomorrow to see about this. 
  
  The contract also says the final payment is due 60 days prior to the event (we put the deposit down for now). Since the venue takes care not only of the space, but includes catering, it seems like 60 days ahead will be difficult to figure out how much food we will need. 
  
  Our guest list is 136 people, but that is giving everybody a plus one. The venue can accommodate 200 people, so I'm prepared in case everybody does attend. But most of our guests will have to travel several hours (or more), so it's quite possible that our numbers will be less than the actual guest list. Best to just pay for enough food for 136 guests to be safe? (I think we will be doing buffet style, if that matters at all). 

                      
  
  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2016

  tigerlily6 said:

  Thanks, @Maggie0829. The wedding coordinator takes Mondays off, but I will call her tomorrow to see about this. 
  
  The contract also says the final payment is due 60 days prior to the event (we put the deposit down for now). Since the venue takes care not only of the space, but includes catering, it seems like 60 days ahead will be difficult to figure out how much food we will need. 
  
  Our guest list is 136 people, but that is giving everybody a plus one. The venue can accommodate 200 people, so I'm prepared in case everybody does attend. But most of our guests will have to travel several hours (or more), so it's quite possible that our numbers will be less than the actual guest list. Best to just pay for enough food for 136 guests to be safe? (I think we will be doing buffet style, if that matters at all). 

  Yeah, I would be questioning this as well.  You won't have a final headcount seeing as you would have just sent out invites.  So are you suppose to pay as if 100% of your guests are coming and then they reimburse you once you have the final numbers?  This sounds really sketchy.
  
  I had to make my final payment 2 weeks out but that was also when our final headcount was due.

  
  

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• tigerlily6 member

  

  January 2016

  Right? Okay, I'm glad it's not just me thinking their timeline is strange. And since the venue is a student union, and hosts weddings and other formal events regularly (for students, alumni, faculty, etc), I was a bit surprised when I realized this didn't match up well with how event hosting/ getting RSVPs actually works.

                      
  
  
  

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  January 2016

  Maggie0829 said:

  tigerlily6 said:

  Thanks, @Maggie0829. The wedding coordinator takes Mondays off, but I will call her tomorrow to see about this. 
  
  The contract also says the final payment is due 60 days prior to the event (we put the deposit down for now). Since the venue takes care not only of the space, but includes catering, it seems like 60 days ahead will be difficult to figure out how much food we will need. 
  
  Our guest list is 136 people, but that is giving everybody a plus one. The venue can accommodate 200 people, so I'm prepared in case everybody does attend. But most of our guests will have to travel several hours (or more), so it's quite possible that our numbers will be less than the actual guest list. Best to just pay for enough food for 136 guests to be safe? (I think we will be doing buffet style, if that matters at all). 

  Yeah, I would be questioning this as well.  You won't have a final headcount seeing as you would have just sent out invites.  So are you suppose to pay as if 100% of your guests are coming and then they reimburse you once you have the final numbers?  This sounds really sketchy.
  
  I had to make my final payment 2 weeks out but that was also when our final headcount was due.

  Totally agree! 60 days out is way to far out for a final payment. We made final payment for daughter's wedding 10 days out and that was when final count was due too. Doesn't make sense to do final payment without having a final count.
  
  

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• tigerlily6 member

  

  January 2016

  Called and figured this out this afternoon. The 60 day prior deadline calls for the second payment, which should take us to 75% covered of the estimated total based on our projected guest list. But the final payment isn't due until the week before the wedding.
  
  Same with firm head count -- due one week prior to the event. 30 days prior is when they need to have the menu items determined (but not quantity) and room setup plans.
  
  Thank you all for counseling me on this -- glad to know this doesn't conflict with my original RSVP plans!

                      
  
  
  

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