Addressing Pastor + Wife with different last names?

vannes1823 · January 2016

Hello all!

So as I'm addressing save the dates making sure I have everyone's names spelled correctly, I realize that I will have a very tricky invitation coming up.

Our officiant is also a cousin, so we'll need to address the envelope "Pastor and Mrs." Except, she did NOT take his surname; she kept her own last name. To further complicate things, her maiden name is already hyphenated. I know that titles such as "Pastor" typically outrank a simple "Mr" or "Mrs," but I also know that when a couple has different last names, you usually address the woman first. Alphabetically, the wife's surname comes first.

What should we do in this case? Our options seem to be:

Pastor John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith-Jones

or:

Ms. Jane Smith-Jones and Pastor John Doe

Thanks for any input! This is quite the conundrum for me!

holyguacamole79 · January 2016

Is his title "pastor" or "Reverend" (Rev)?

CMGragain · January 2016

Rev. is the usual title for a protestant minister, unless he has a doctorate.

Ms. Jane Smith-Doe and Rev. John Jones

vannes1823 · January 2016

I actually think his title is "Pastor" as weird as that sounds. I'll have to double check, but that's what I was told by my FI's mother, who is related to the officiant. It's also possible that he has a doctorate; I'll have to check.

@CMGragain, so you think I should put his wife first?

CMGragain · January 2016

If a couple is listed traditionally, they would be Rev. and Mrs. John Doe. Since your pastor's wife in not traditional, at least about her name, It would be Ms. Jane Smith-Jones and Rev. John Doe. Reversing the names isn't a major faux pas, though.

Addressing Pastor + Wife with different last names?

Re: Addressing Pastor + Wife with different last names?

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