Someone else is (mostly) paying for my budget wedding. Anyone else?

[Deleted User] · January 2016

I another knotty told me that I couldn't plan a wedding without a budget, but that's the position I'm in and what I'm trying to do!

My parents are divorced and worked out a paying system with my siblings for their previous weddings. Since everything worked out fine with them and I am willing to give huge amounts of control to my parents (since they're paying), them withdrawing at the last minute is not an issue. They will pay the vendors directly so there's no chance of me being left on the hook.

My mother is paying for the cake and dress, and my father and step mom are paying for the venue, table flowers, and food. My brother's band is going to play, so if I pay them anything it will be nominal. My sister and best friend will be doing hair and makeup.

No rehearsal dinner, no wedding planner. My stepmom is the closest thing I have to that.

So, I'm thinking that leaves me boutonnieres, bouquets, decorations, invitations and photographers. Am I forgetting anything? Has anyone else done this? If so, I'd love to hear about it and get your tips.

AddieCake · January 2016

My dad paid for my wedding, but we still had a budget. We agreed on the amount he would spend, and then he gave me a credit card with that amount on it so I could plan and pay for things b/c he lives in a different state.

Are you having a rehearsal? If so, you need some kind of dinner afterward.

Are there any other extras you want? Favors, table numbers, escort cards, programs? Who is paying for the officiant?

thisismynickname2 · January 2016

In answer to, "Am I forgetting anything else," look up TK's checklist. There are tons of things you probably don't need, but you can just immediately delete all that stuff and you'll see what's left that you may have forgotten!
I found TK's list far superior to anything like a one-sheeter in a wedding magazine.

[Deleted User] · January 2016

Thanks!

[Deleted User] · January 2016

My mother definitely has a budget and will tell me when the time comes, but as far as me, my dad and my step mom go the budget is as cheap possible! The rental places we looked at are 500 - 1000 and she found someone to do the food (backyard BBQ type stuff) for 80 people for 600! She knows everyone and always seems to have an "in." I am very lucky to have her.

Thanks for mentioning the officiant, I was sure I was missing something. I don't want to do assigned seating or programs. I don't really want to do a rehearsal either. If someone stands in the wrong place or walks too fast, it wouldn't be the end of the world for me. I haven't decided about favors.

lyndausvi · January 2016

My parents paid for most of my wedding. I never knew their budget. I had an idea, but never saw real numbers. Together we picked out stuff, but I let them guide me on price.

DH and I took care of:

photographer
officiant (including a room night)
flowers
steel pan for the ceremony
GM's attire
DH's attire
licensing
Honeymoon
BMs mani's and pedi's
OOT bag cards
Programs
WP gifts
candy bar boxes and stickers
Me traveling to my shower, venue meeting and getting gifts back home (plane ride away)
Rehearsal dinner
Traveling to the location (we were a plane ride away) + a week's stay (we stayed with family or the place my parent's rented, so no lodging)
few other things I can't think of right now.

We still had a budget for all those things.

CMGragain · January 2016

We paid for most of daughter's wedding. Daughter and I went shopping together and chose the dress and the venue. We had a guest list before we did this. We paid for musician at ceremony, flowers, photography, invitations, wedding dress and veil, reception costs.
Groom's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.
Groom paid for officiant and the license. (He should.)
Daughter and groom paid for STDs (which are optional), groom's cake (optional), and favors (also optional). Daughter also paid for her MOH's dress because she knew that the girl couldn't afford it.
Daughter made all of the decisions about style, colors, design, etc. Her FI didn't really care.
We had a basic budget, but it was somewhat flexible. DH is still fuming about the costs. He didn't seem to understand that weddings are more expensive now than they were in 1976. Too bad for him.

artbyallie · January 2016

WuggyNrlpe said:

I another knotty told me that I couldn't plan a wedding without a budget, but that's the position I'm in and what I'm trying to do!

My parents are divorced and worked out a paying system with my siblings for their previous weddings. Since everything worked out fine with them and I am willing to give huge amounts of control to my parents (since they're paying), them withdrawing at the last minute is not an issue. They will pay the vendors directly so there's no chance of me being left on the hook.

My mother is paying for the cake and dress, and my father and step mom are paying for the venue, table flowers, and food. My brother's band is going to play, so if I pay them anything it will be nominal. My sister and best friend will be doing hair and makeup.

No rehearsal dinner, no wedding planner. My stepmom is the closest thing I have to that.

So, I'm thinking that leaves me boutonnieres, bouquets, decorations, invitations and photographers. Am I forgetting anything? Has anyone else done this? If so, I'd love to hear about it and get your tips.

To the bolded, you should really pay the band and stylists what you would pay them if you weren't related. Please. Even if they won't accept it, at least try to offer an appropriate amount.

kvruns · January 2016

are drinks included in the "food" part? this includes non-alcoholic and alcoholic if having them. Is there a separate bar tender charge?

do you need a microphone or sound system for the ceremony or speeches or will your brother's band handle all of that? do you want back ground music for dinner?

are accessories for your dress (veil, jewelry, shoes, special bra, etc) included in mom paying for dress? \

are you having a guest book or something similar?

Having a card box might be nice (can be very inexpensive to get). Also need Thank you cards

[Deleted User] · January 2016

artbyallie said:

show previous quotes

WuggyNrlpe said:

I another knotty told me that I couldn't plan a wedding without a budget, but that's the position I'm in and what I'm trying to do!

My parents are divorced and worked out a paying system with my siblings for their previous weddings. Since everything worked out fine with them and I am willing to give huge amounts of control to my parents (since they're paying), them withdrawing at the last minute is not an issue. They will pay the vendors directly so there's no chance of me being left on the hook.

My mother is paying for the cake and dress, and my father and step mom are paying for the venue, table flowers, and food. My brother's band is going to play, so if I pay them anything it will be nominal. My sister and best friend will be doing hair and makeup.

No rehearsal dinner, no wedding planner. My stepmom is the closest thing I have to that.

So, I'm thinking that leaves me boutonnieres, bouquets, decorations, invitations and photographers. Am I forgetting anything? Has anyone else done this? If so, I'd love to hear about it and get your tips.

To the bolded, you should really pay the band and stylists what you would pay them if you weren't related. Please. Even if they won't accept it, at least try to offer an appropriate amount.

You are so right! Thanks for mentioning this. Fairly certain brother and sister will not take money, but I will try.

tigerlily6 · January 2016

The only thing I don't see mentioned yet is wedding rings. You can find them fairly inexpensive, to be sure, but be sure to add them to the budget somewhere.

photokitty · January 2016

WuggyNrlpe said:
show previous quotes

artbyallie said:

WuggyNrlpe said:

I another knotty told me that I couldn't plan a wedding without a budget, but that's the position I'm in and what I'm trying to do!

My parents are divorced and worked out a paying system with my siblings for their previous weddings. Since everything worked out fine with them and I am willing to give huge amounts of control to my parents (since they're paying), them withdrawing at the last minute is not an issue. They will pay the vendors directly so there's no chance of me being left on the hook.

My mother is paying for the cake and dress, and my father and step mom are paying for the venue, table flowers, and food. My brother's band is going to play, so if I pay them anything it will be nominal. My sister and best friend will be doing hair and makeup.

No rehearsal dinner, no wedding planner. My stepmom is the closest thing I have to that.

So, I'm thinking that leaves me boutonnieres, bouquets, decorations, invitations and photographers. Am I forgetting anything? Has anyone else done this? If so, I'd love to hear about it and get your tips.

To the bolded, you should really pay the band and stylists what you would pay them if you weren't related. Please. Even if they won't accept it, at least try to offer an appropriate amount.

You are so right! Thanks for mentioning this. Fairly certain brother and sister will not take money, but I will try.

The rest of the band and your sister's friend should be paid regardless of how your siblings feel about payment. Speak with them directly if need be to determine a price.

BrinkyDink16 · February 2016

We had a system very much like what it sounds like you're doing. We didn't have a set "budget" for our part of things. My parents pledged a finite amount and we assigned them the most expensive items. My ILs volunteered to pay for certain items and didn't put a cap on cost for them. The rest was up to us. This is how it broke down for us:

My parents: catering, bar, chair rental, miscellaneous decorations that my Mom picked out

My ILs: part of husband's attire, rehearsal dinner

Bridal Party: their attire

Me & Husband: Everything else! Which included: invitations, marriage license, gifts for bridal party and parents, bride attire, other part of groom attire, ceremony venue, officiant, ceremony decorations, programs, ceremony props (like unity candle set, etc), wedding bands, reception venue, dishware, centerpieces, other table decorations, cake, cake topper, cake table decorations, other miscellaneous decorations, favors, DJ, photographer, videographer, hotel.

I'm not sure what kind of numbers you're working with but altogether our wedding came in under 15k. Utilizing friendors is a great way to go for a budget wedding. Our photographer and videographer were friendors, DJ was a friend of a friend, and my MOH did my hair. It saved us a ton because those services were all the most costly when looking at vendors we didn't know personally.

I do agree with previous posters that you should come to an agreement with the band and pay them something. We asked our friendors straight out what they were charging us because we refused to have them do it for free. Each ended up charging half of their normal price and we gave them a 20% tip on top of that.

SP29 · February 2016

I agree that the checklist here on TK is pretty inclusive of everything.

Rehearsal is not necessary. Favours and programs are option.

If you aren't going to do any sort of assigned seating (you could do this with one large chart vs. place cards), make sure you have more seats than guests available- everyone isn't going to perfectly seat themselves to 10 per table, particularly when you've got different groups of family and friends involved.

Rings
Officiant
License
Attire including undergarments, jewelry, shoes
WP gifts
Cake- do you also need to buy a knife and server, or does the caterer offer this?
Guest Book?
Card Box
Thank you notes
Tips for vendors
Transportation (no you don't need a limo, but you need to figure out how everyone is getting to/from)
Where are you and your groom staying the night of the wedding? Hotel cost?

Someone else is (mostly) paying for my budget wedding. Anyone else?

Re: Someone else is (mostly) paying for my budget wedding. Anyone else?

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