Sticky bridal party situation

Re: Sticky bridal party situation

• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2016

  Unfortunately, it's too late to ask your aunt now that so much time has passed since you originally asked your bridesmaids.

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  January 2016

  Knottie1440339384 said:

  I asked all of my dear friends and sister/in law to be in the bridal party. One friend decided to step down because she has had fights with the other bridesmaids and felt she could not handle it. I have been wanting to ask my aunt whom is helping financially for the wedding to be in the party anyway but had felt like it was too late since she had already offered to help in the wedding and i felt like she would think I was asking due to her financial help. But the truth is I would love for her to be a BM. What should I do? Is it too late since she I let her know the girls are friends my sister and sis in law? I asked the girls in the summer and fall and my wedding is in September. Thank you for your help! At a loss. I truly don't care if I have an even number I just want to ask her but don't know if I should be honest with her being family or if it's too late at all since it has been a while since original party. Help!

  I'm sure your intentions are totally good. However, if you ask her now, it can look like you are doing so to replace the other BM. I wouldn't do it.

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• Knottie1440339384 member

  

  January 2016

  thanks to you both

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  January 2016

  The only good reason for asking someone late is if they are a new friend or a friend who has become much closer to you while planning. This other girl dropping out has nothing to do with why you didn't ask your aunt at the same time as everyone else, and it will absolutely look like a replacement because it is.

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• downtondiva member

  

  January 2016

  If you want to show your aunt appreciation for her help, get her a nice gift around the time of the wedding to say thank you. Asking her to be a bridesmaid at this point looks like you're just replacing the girl who dropped out and might make your aunt feel like an afterthought.

  
  

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• jenna8984 member

  

  January 2016

  Agreed with others here, I would not ask. My brother's wife asked her friends to be bridesmaids in December and they all went out together and chose the dress. Then she asked me in April. It was awkward for me and I'm pretty sure it was for even numbers. Would have said no, but it's my only brother so I did it. I'm sure it would make your aunt feel weird too being asked so late.

                                                                   

  
  

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• Vivandiere8 member

  

  January 2016

  I don't know. I see my thoughts are going against the grain here. But if you really are choosing the person as merely a replacement bridesmaid because someone dropped out that never comes off well. But if you were to put that aside, and you truly wanted her as a bridesmaid, and you were regretting you hadn't done it from the start, and felt during the process she had gone above and beyond... It seems wrong not to ask someone based on what "It might look like".
  
  My sister had a large wedding party, and one of her friends asked if she could make the bridesmaid dresses for her as a wedding gift, and then from there just went above and beyond helping my sister out for her wedding. Months into the whole thing my sister realized what a close friend she was, and was so honored by the girl's voluntary hard work that she asked her if she would be a bridesmaid as well, and she explained it to her plainly, "I know it's late, but I have come to cherish your friendship even more in the past few months, blah, blah, blah." The girl was over the moon excited!
  
  Point being, if you really regretted it, regardless of even sides, you might ask her, and even tell her "This isn't because so and so dropped out. The timing is good but regardless I have been regretting asking you, and put it off because I felt bad asking you so late, but I had to ask you anyway because you are so dear to me etc, etc."
  
  Those are my thoughts. If it's because of what it looks like I would just have a heart to heart about "What it looks like". If really it's to replace a missing maid I wouldn't do it
  

  
  

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