this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

He's just not that into you?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 
I have been in a relationship with a great guy for about seven years. We got engaged a year ago and this morning he decided he didn’t want to get legally married—something about not wanting the state to have a say in his relationship, and I think he’s worried about potentially having to split assets in the case of a divorce (he earns more than I do). I’m not quite sure how I should take this or what I should do.

—Cold Feet

Report Reply to Post

Re: He's just not that into you?

  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    That's a line of bull.
    image
    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I was in that position with my H.  Not the BS about "the state having a say in our relationship" (what does that even mean?) or "splitting assets".  But when we got together he had already been married twice and was a bit gun shy.  Though I did "qualify him" in the beginning to make sure he didn't have the attitude of "I'm never getting married again".  He didn't.  Or said he didn't.

    Then the years passed by with no engagement or even talk of marriage very often.  There were a few times I really thought hard about just leaving.  But always came to the conclusion I would rather be with him and not married than not be with him.  Though it made my heart really sad.  Then in year 12...yes, 12...he started talking seriously about getting married and proposed a few months later.

    But for the LW, it does not bode well.  I mean, she can point out the government already has a say in their relationship.  Because the government gets to dictate what rights married vs. non-married couples are entitled to.  She can also suggest a pre-nup, if she thinks he is worried about that.  But sounds like he has cold feet/changed mind.  Unfortunately, she needs to decide if never getting married is a dealbreaker for her.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    "don't want the state to have a say" = "don't want the state to grant you any rights if I leave"
    Or is that only true in the 'not married by the state' uberfundie branches?

    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yeah, I think I'd be running the other way.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards