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Wedding Woes
mrsconn23
member
4 men in the world and I love all of them
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
What happens if you are in love with three people? I am crazy in love with my spouse, in love with an ex whose cheating ended our relationship, and I am in love with my ex’s son, whom I dated just before meeting my spouse. It is really hard because my spouse is so wonderful I can’t believe it sometimes, but the other two men keep hanging in there, telling me they are going to get me back. There is only one of me and three of them. I do not want to risk losing my spouse, but I can’t stop loving the other two. I do not want to lose them either, as they have been treasured friends to me.
—Pulled in Every Direction
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Re: 4 men in the world and I love all of them
Wow, lol. I can see where this is difficult for the LW because she doesn't appear to have many boundaries. Really, though, it's not that hard. She loves her H and is married to him. Great. Focus on that love and that relationship. Forget the others and cut them out of her life.
Or divorce H, marry cheater ex, than have an open marriage where she can chase after all the guys "she loves". And he can do the same.
I don't even know why she wrote that letter. I think she likes things just the way they are. She lives on the drama and the ego boost of two guys telling her, "I'm going to get you back! I'm going to get you back!"
It's nice/flattering/fun to think about people wanting me =/= in love with.
I broke up with my then-boyfriend to start dating my now-H. Like two years after I'd broken up with the guy, he was married, enlisted and deployed. He contacted me on FB. For like, a week I talked to him a lot and it was really nice to hear him tell me how great I was and how he wanted us to leave our SOs and be together again. Dude was a loser to begin with and I had no intention of even thinking about leaving H but it was nice to be wanted. And then we moved in with our lives because we're not 12.
I met DH a month later. He called me a few months later and I told him I was with DH, and he was all, "Oh OK. Peace out!" (side note, I remember that conversation well because I told him I have moved to a new house and he was all, "Oh your parents got a new place?" And I said, "Nope, bought my own!" He was impressed...I think he realized how much more I had my shit together than him and he is 6 years older than me.)
Anyway, FFWD to that Christmas...He called me again. DH and I were living together and talking seriously about getting engaged. I remember seeing he had called and getting that 'rush' because I knew what he was calling *for* (and we were really good at that...the rest? Not so much...Oil and water). I told him that DH and I were still together and we were engaged. Same answer as above and never heard from him again.