Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion
Options

How do I find happiness in the face of loneliness?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
I recently moved back across the country with my young daughter, where I hoped to spend more time with old friends. They are nice people but busy with their own lives, and I’ve only seen them very occasionally. As a working single mom, I don’t have too much time to make new friends—I’ve met some interesting people, but on the whole I’m pretty lonely. I try to focus on what I have control over to improve my life, and I know my old friends are not responsible for my happiness. But I get in a negative thought loop about how my life could be different if these friends had welcomed me back into their lives more. Can you give me a little objective perspective that could help me kick the negative thinking habit?

—Out of Touch

Report Reply to Post

Re: How do I find happiness in the face of loneliness?

  • Options
    NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    She should start with getting to know some other moms through her daughter. Maybe get her feet wet with those type of social situations, and then move to other people. Friendships change over the years especially when there has been a lot of time and distance.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    So she moved because she figured people she hadn't lived nearby for awhile would be willing to pick up and become friends again with her?

    But also, and maybe I'm cynical or mean or whatever, is that this is adulthood. We are all busy, especially as your kids get older. It's harder to make and keep friends. Girl needs some therapy and a Meet Up account.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Yes, this is adulthood.  And the more elements (job, relationship, house, pets, kids, etc.) added to your life, the more constraints on your time.  DH and I have talked several times about how hard it is to be able to get together with friends more than once or twice a year.  

    With all that we need to do and feel obligated to do (i.e. spending time with FIL and checking in with him often), any 'free' time I have to myself, I want to be doing what I want to do on my terms.  I work one Saturday a month and I desperately look forward to my Weds off when DH is at work, the kiddo goes to school, and I take DefConn to daycare.  The downside is that all my friends are also at work too.  I usually go shopping at the stores I don't get a chance to get to in a normal week (or don't want to go to on a weekend since I know I don't want to fight crowds/traffic). 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I wonder how connected they were when she was across the country.  I have a friend from high school that lives 20 minutes away.  When we moved here I really thought we'd be getting together more often and could start things up again.  We're just very different people now.  We get together occasionally, but we're both just different people now.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    mrs.conn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,
    I recently moved back across the country with my young daughter, where I hoped to spend more time with old friends. They are nice people but busy with their own lives, and I’ve only seen them very occasionally. As a working single mom, I don’t have too much time to make new friends—I’ve met some interesting people, but on the whole I’m pretty lonely. I try to focus on what I have control over to improve my life, and I know my old friends are not responsible for my happiness. But I get in a negative thought loop about how my life could be different if these friends had welcomed me back into their lives more. Can you give me a little objective perspective that could help me kick the negative thinking habit?

    —Out of Touch With Reality

    I want to know her reason for moving across the country. (Was it for work, to take care of a sick family member, because she was fleeing her child's abusive father, etc. I'm hoping it wasn't solely for the reason to have friends - which is totally how I read this the first time around.) This woman needs a hobby or a meetup group or something.

    Also, I fixed it. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Problems introverts don't have. Thank god. 
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards