Countless threads on here relate to people inviting themselves, or asking to attend your weddings - so I knew it was coming.
A cousin of mine (addict, in and out of legal trouble and rehab for all of her adult life - according to her mom has been clean for a few months this time) posted on my fb wall asking to come to the wedding. It could be called a heartfelt plea, with a hint of guilt-trip. She said that she particularly wanted to attend as she hadn't seen her extended family in many years. I haven't seen her in a decade, and we've never been close.
Focusing on her message, and not her particularly difficult situation - I've been hearing a similar line from other relatives, who seem to think that my wedding will be a family reunion, and so shouldn't I invite X Y and Z. My family is massive. So instead of inviting everyone and their mom, we're having a small wedding. Although the decision isn't final, I'm not planning to invite any cousins.
My response (in a private fb message): Hi ___, great to hear from you. Glad to see you're doing well. We haven't finalized the guest list for the wedding, but are planning something on the smaller side, and unfortunately don't expect to be able to invite cousins due to size constraints. But it would be great to catch up another time. PMs are best, or email - I'm trying to keep wedding chat out of the public eye due to some privacy issues we've had. Hope to see you soon!
I wanted to respond quickly to this (especially as I was deleting her post off my fb wall), and have since wished that I put more time into it. I'm hoping for your thoughts, feedback, and any ideas of how my response could be improved. I doubt this will be the last, and want to make sure I'm more prepared next time.
Thanks!