Long distance bridal shower

g8rjoy20 · February 2016

Is every women on the list invited to a bridal shower

JediElizabeth · February 2016

g8rjoy20 said:

Is every women on the list invited to a bridal shower

What?

what is a long distance bridal shower?

Assuming you're asking about everyone on the guest list: no. Only those you are close to are invited, and only those within the constraints of the hosts' budget/space/etc.

JaxInBlue · February 2016

Agree with Jedi. If your asking about guests for whom the bridal shower is an out of town event, there isn't really a clear answer. If you want them there, invite them, but understand the distance and travel logistics might make it prohibitive for them to participate.

The tradition in my family is to invite mostly local friends and family, but to also invite all bridal party members and all members of the immediate family regardless of where those individuals live relative to the location of the party.

MyNameIsNot · February 2016

Bridal shower should be your closest friends and family. That number is different for everyone, but unless you're having a very small wedding, it's not every woman invited to the wedding. Ask the hostess(es) how many guests they would like to host and go from there.

When it comes to long distance guests, invite those who you are closest to. It's totally fine to invite a sibling or close friend, but a cousin you rarely speak to would likely find an invitation to a long distance shower to be gift grabby.

lembaslover · February 2016

I would just invite those you are closest too. If they are OOT it's ok to invite them but understand they might not make it. I went to an OOT bridal shower for a good friend and i had OOT family come to my shower where I live so if you want them there don't not invite them because it's too far. Let them decide. But you definitely don't need to invite everyone.

Also keep in mind that it's up to whoever is hosting to decide how many people they can host. If someone tells you they can only host 20 people don't give them a list of 40.

southernbelle0915 · February 2016

No, not all women on the wedding guest list get invited to the bridal shower.

First, ask how many people the host(s) can afford to host. Then send the host the names and addresses of the people you want to fill those spots.

Jen4948 · February 2016

The one rule of thumb about shower invitations is that (except at work or group showers), everyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding.

When it comes to long-distance invitations, provided every guest is invited to the wedding, then there's no etiquette rule prohibiting you from inviting them to the shower. But there could be practical considerations: Can your hostess entertain them? (It's up to her how many people you can invite.) Can/Will your OOT guests travel to the shower location?

Also, it might come off as gift-grabby if there is anyone on the shower guest list who you are not that close to. (This is also true of wedding guest lists, but even more so for showers because showers have a built-in gift-giving expectation.)

[Deleted User] · February 2016

MyNameIsNot said:

Bridal shower should be your closest friends and family. That number is different for everyone, but unless you're having a very small wedding, it's not every woman invited to the wedding. Ask the hostess(es) how many guests they would like to host and go from there.

When it comes to long distance guests, invite those who you are closest to. It's totally fine to invite a sibling or close friend, but a cousin you rarely speak to would likely find an invitation to a long distance shower to be gift grabby.

True story. I got an invitation to the shower of my cousin who is more than 15 years younger than me who I barely talk to at family events. Also her shower was in rural South Dakota and I live in Chicago. I found it incredibly gift-grabby and did not attend. I did, however, send a gift because I wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. (However, I didn't get my Thank You Note until 4 months later and after the wedding had taken place, so there's that too.)

MandyMost · February 2016

The invite list for a bridal shower can be anywhere between 0 (i.e. no shower is necessary) and 100% of the guest list of the wedding (a shower can be both genders).

The only rule is that everyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding--but the reverse is not true!

Whoever is hosting the event will let you know how many people they are able to host. Or, perhaps they will ask you how many people you are thinking you'd like to invite.

As others have said, inviting people to a shower that you are not particularly close with, or who you know won't be attending, can come off making you look tacky, inconsiderate, and gift-grabby.

What portion of the wedding guest list you invite to the shower depends on so many factors--is it a small wedding or a huge wedding? Are you have a women-only shower, or co-ed? Who is hosting and how many people have they offered to host?

Most showers I've been to have been female only, and included the majority of the bride's female relatives (aunts, cousins, sisters, etc.), bride's closest female friends (i.e. the bridal party, if there is one), and the groom's most immediate female relatives (mother, sister, grandmother only). People who weren't invited to the shower but were invited to the wedding were bride's friends that weren't as close, friends where the male friend was the closer friend to the bride, more extended relatives and friends of the family, and all of the groom's friends and extended family members.

short+sassy · February 2016

For what it's worth, I was not invited to my sister's bridal shower because I live halfway across the country. I vaguely recall my mom might have asked me ahead of time if I wanted to come out for the shower, with the (correct)expectation that I wouldn't.

MobKaz · February 2016

JaxInBlue said:

Agree with Jedi. If your asking about guests for whom the bridal shower is an out of town event, there isn't really a clear answer. If you want them there, invite them, but understand the distance and travel logistics might make it prohibitive for them to participate.

The tradition in my family is to invite mostly local friends and family, but to also invite all bridal party members and all members of the immediate family regardless of where those individuals live relative to the location of the party.

My husband's family felt very strongly about this. He had several older relatives that lived far from where the wedding would be held. Because of health and age limitations, we knew all along that they would not be attending the wedding or any pre-wedding events. Those relatives made it crystal clear that they still wished to receive any and all wedding related invitations.

My son and his wife currently live in California, with the majority of our family here in Chicago. We inform them of most family events, from casual Oktoberfest parties to weddings. We do so more to "keep them in the loop" and to let them know we are thinking of them. We have an understanding that unless we hear differently, we do not expect them to attend or even respond to the invitation.

Long distance bridal shower

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