Destination Wedding etiquette?

Re: Destination Wedding etiquette?

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  Jells2dot0 mod

  

  February 2016

  Did you send out save the dates when you booked your previous venue? If not, no one is entitled to an invitation to your wedding. They can press you all they want, but it's not their say. You are free to invite whomever you wish, and if you want to keep it to parents only, then invite only your parents and MOH.

  If you did send out STDs, then you have to approach it from a different angle, by sending out cancellation notes.

  Personally, I am not a fan of At Home Receptions (party after you return home). You are obviously stressed about planning, so why put yourself through the stress of planning a party (which a reception is, by the way!) and inviting all of those same people after having scrapped your plans? IMHO, this does not save any time or stress whatsoever. It's the exact same amount of work. I would especially be less likely to want to throw a party for people who clearly made you feel about your plans.

  Whatever you do decide to do- do not feel bad about your decision. As long as you follow the proper etiquette in this situation, you can amend your plans as you see fit. when I got engaged, I got a lot "ideas" from people on what I should do. I then decided to keep my plans to myself and they found out I married after the fact. Best decision I ever made.

   

  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  

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  LondonLisa member

  

  February 2016

  Knottie1441997216 said:

  I need advice please! A little background- my fiancé and I had already booked a local wedding venue, however it was never our plan to have a big wedding. Before we got engaged we talked about eloping and I was completely fine with that but after we announced our engagement, I got so many responses...people telling me that they are going to be one of my bridesmaids and aggressively telling me that I'm going to have a real traditional wedding. So that put a lot of pressure on me and I caved. I thought well this is what everyone expects so I'll do it-have a local traditional wedding at a gorgeous venue in Athens, Ga. We booked the venue and after a couple of months of planning my fiancé noticed how stressed I was and I decided to be completely done with all of the planning and we cancelled our venue reservation and decided we would have a small/private destination wedding at an all inclusive resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. Now I feel so much better! But now I've come to a fork in the road and don't know the proper way to do invitations. The only people that are going to attend our small or private ceremony are our moms and dads and my maid of honor that was going to be my maid of honor at the local wedding. We want to have a reception or rather a celebration of our marriage when we return. We want to show everyone our wedding video highlight reel and have pictures around from our wedding day. I'm not sure if I should send out invitations to the ceremony to everyone that would have been invited had we stuck with the local plans or if it's alright to send out a wedding announcement right after our marriage to everyone and invite them all to celebrate with us on whatever date we decide to host the celebration. I just don't want anyone's feelings getting hurt but at the same time we want what we were wanting from the beginning-just a small/private ceremony. Anyone have any advice on this? 

  Your small DW sounds great. Don't get talked into hosting anything you don't want to. 
  
  Firstly, no one likes to be showed a video of a party they weren't invited to. And no one likes to sit through someone's holiday photo reel. Skip all of that. ONLY if people ask to see photos or the video, email them the link. 
  
  Did you invite people to your ceremony already? Did you send out save the dates? If so, you need to send a cancellation immediately. Don't invite anyone to the ceremony that you don't want to host. That is a recipe for disaster. What happens when your ceremony ends up being your mums, MOH, and your fi's random friend from uni who thought this was a standard DW.  
  
  You can throw a party anytime you want, but remember this party you are throwing ISN'T a wedding reception. So no wedding trappings: no wedding gown, no ceremony reenactment, no gifts, no first dance. Treat this like you would treat a birthday party. 
  
  But I have to ask, if you were getting stressed planning a big wedding, planning a big party is just as stressful. Why not just skip it all, enjoy your DW and call it a day!

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  levioosa member

  

  February 2016

  LondonLisa said:

  Knottie1441997216 said:

  I need advice please! A little background- my fiancé and I had already booked a local wedding venue, however it was never our plan to have a big wedding. Before we got engaged we talked about eloping and I was completely fine with that but after we announced our engagement, I got so many responses...people telling me that they are going to be one of my bridesmaids and aggressively telling me that I'm going to have a real traditional wedding. So that put a lot of pressure on me and I caved. I thought well this is what everyone expects so I'll do it-have a local traditional wedding at a gorgeous venue in Athens, Ga. We booked the venue and after a couple of months of planning my fiancé noticed how stressed I was and I decided to be completely done with all of the planning and we cancelled our venue reservation and decided we would have a small/private destination wedding at an all inclusive resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. Now I feel so much better! But now I've come to a fork in the road and don't know the proper way to do invitations. The only people that are going to attend our small or private ceremony are our moms and dads and my maid of honor that was going to be my maid of honor at the local wedding. We want to have a reception or rather a celebration of our marriage when we return. We want to show everyone our wedding video highlight reel and have pictures around from our wedding day. I'm not sure if I should send out invitations to the ceremony to everyone that would have been invited had we stuck with the local plans or if it's alright to send out a wedding announcement right after our marriage to everyone and invite them all to celebrate with us on whatever date we decide to host the celebration. I just don't want anyone's feelings getting hurt but at the same time we want what we were wanting from the beginning-just a small/private ceremony. Anyone have any advice on this? 

  Your small DW sounds great. Don't get talked into hosting anything you don't want to. 
  
  Firstly, no one likes to be showed a video of a party they weren't invited to. And no one likes to sit through someone's holiday photo reel. Skip all of that. ONLY if people ask to see photos or the video, email them the link. 
  
  Did you invite people to your ceremony already? Did you send out save the dates? If so, you need to send a cancellation immediately. Don't invite anyone to the ceremony that you don't want to host. That is a recipe for disaster. What happens when your ceremony ends up being your mums, MOH, and your fi's random friend from uni who thought this was a standard DW.  
  
  You can throw a party anytime you want, but remember this party you are throwing ISN'T a wedding reception. So no wedding trappings: no wedding gown, no ceremony reenactment, no gifts, no first dance. Treat this like you would treat a birthday party. 
  
  But I have to ask, if you were getting stressed planning a big wedding, planning a big party is just as stressful. Why not just skip it all, enjoy your DW and call it a day!

  All of this. 

  
  

  
  

  

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