Georgia-Atlanta

Destination wedding etiquette?

edited February 2016 in Georgia-Atlanta
i need advice please! A little background- my fiancé and I had already booked a local wedding venue, however it was never our plan to have a big wedding. Before we got engaged we talked about eloping and I was completely fine with that but after we announced our engagement, I got so many responses...people telling me that they are going to be one of my bridesmaids and aggressively telling me that I'm going to have a real traditional wedding. So that put a lot of pressure on me and I caved. I thought well this is what everyone expects so I'll do it-have a local traditional wedding at a gorgeous venue in Athens, Ga. We booked the venue and after a couple of months of planning my fiancé noticed how stressed I was and I decided to be completely done with all of the planning and we cancelled our venue reservation and decided we would have a small/private destination wedding at an all inclusive resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. Now I feel so much better! But now I've come to a fork in the road and don't know the proper way to do invitations. The only people that are going to attend our small or private ceremony are our moms and dads and my maid of honor that was going to be my maid of honor at the local wedding. We want to have a reception or rather a celebration of our marriage when we return. We want to show everyone our wedding video highlight reel and have pictures around from our wedding day. I'm not sure if I should send out invitations to the ceremony to everyone that would have been invited had we stuck with the local plans or if it's alright to send out a wedding announcement right after our marriage to everyone and invite them all to celebrate with us on whatever date we decide to host the celebration. I just don't want anyone's feelings getting hurt but at the same time we want what we were wanting from the beginning-just a small/private ceremony. Anyone have any advice on this? 

Re: Destination wedding etiquette?

  • labrolabro Hotlanta member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Have you already sent Save the Dates to people? I guess what I can't tell from your post is whether or not you actually sent out anything official before you cancelled with your original venue and started to change your plans.

    The appropriate etiquette is to do the following -

    Send out wedding invitations to your new, smaller guest list only.

    When you get married it's appropriate to send out a simple marriage announcement to everyone.

    I guess I'm really confused over your desire to have some sort of at-home reception/celebration of your marriage with a huge group of people when you were SO stressed out over planning a large wedding. This really won't be any different. You'll still have to properly host everyone, and it'll take just as money, time, effort, and coordination. The party you have after the wedding should really keep all the wedding stuff to a minimum. If you want to play a video of the ceremony, I guess that's ok, but I'd keep it to the background and not make it a huge thing that everyone is required to watch. Same with photos. Place them around discreetly so people can look if they want to.

    This is NOT a re-do reception. No first dances, no cake cutting, etc. Some people say it's inappropriate to even wear your wedding dress but I personally don't care. The important thing is that you have enough food and beverage for everyone.

    Good luck!
    i need advice please! A little background- my fiancé and I had already booked a local wedding venue, however it was never our plan to have a big wedding. Before we got engaged we talked about eloping and I was completely fine with that but after we announced our engagement, I got so many responses...people telling me that they are going to be one of my bridesmaids and aggressively telling me that I'm going to have a real traditional wedding. So that put a lot of pressure on me and I caved. I thought well this is what everyone expects so I'll do it-have a local traditional wedding at a gorgeous venue in Athens, Ga. We booked the venue and after a couple of months of planning my fiancé noticed how stressed I was and I decided to be completely done with all of the planning and we cancelled our venue reservation and decided we would have a small/private destination wedding at an all inclusive resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. Now I feel so much better! But now I've come to a fork in the road and don't know the proper way to do invitations. The only people that are going to attend our small or private ceremony are our moms and dads and my maid of honor that was going to be my maid of honor at the local wedding. We want to have a reception or rather a celebration of our marriage when we return. We want to show everyone our wedding video highlight reel and have pictures around from our wedding day. I'm not sure if I should send out invitations to the ceremony to everyone that would have been invited had we stuck with the local plans or if it's alright to send out a wedding announcement right after our marriage to everyone and invite them all to celebrate with us on whatever date we decide to host the celebration. I just don't want anyone's feelings getting hurt but at the same time we want what we were wanting from the beginning-just a small/private ceremony. Anyone have any advice on this? 



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