Moms and Maids

I just don't get it...

My MIL and I have a great relationship, but her logic just does not make sense to me.  I asked her whether she preferred a pin-on or wrist corsage for the wedding, and she told me that she does not want any flowers. Ok, cool, but I just found out that her reasoning is that "It's too expensive, I don't want you guys spending the money on that" (FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves). However, we're get a car service to take her home the night of the wedding (she's afraid to drive at night), and she's taken me up on the offer to pay for her makeup to be professionally done, no fights there. 

It's not the money, I'll gladly pay for the car service and makeup so she can get pampered and enjoy the wedding without having to stress about getting home afterwards, but seriously, I don't think $25 for a corsage is going to break the bank, especially since she's still trying to convince us to add things to our wedding that neither of us want, and expecting that we will pay for them because she wants them.

Sorry ladies, just needed to rant a bit.



Re: I just don't get it...

  • That stinks she is pressuring you guys to get things you don't want but maybe the flowers are her way of "bending". As in "Of course you get personalized cocktail napkins now that I saved you from spending money on a corsage for me!" Stay strong!

    Luckily my MIL stayed out of the way for most things...except insisting her cousins we had never met, be invited. (We had our reception on family property and they did pay for the rehearsal dinner-also on family property) They don't rsvp, I ask for their phone numbers, she says she talked to them and they're coming. Guess which table of 12 had 0 people show up?


    SP29
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My MIL and I have a great relationship, but her logic just does not make sense to me.  I asked her whether she preferred a pin-on or wrist corsage for the wedding, and she told me that she does not want any flowers. Ok, cool, but I just found out that her reasoning is that "It's too expensive, I don't want you guys spending the money on that" (FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves). However, we're get a car service to take her home the night of the wedding (she's afraid to drive at night), and she's taken me up on the offer to pay for her makeup to be professionally done, no fights there. 

    It's not the money, I'll gladly pay for the car service and makeup so she can get pampered and enjoy the wedding without having to stress about getting home afterwards, but seriously, I don't think $25 for a corsage is going to break the bank, especially since she's still trying to convince us to add things to our wedding that neither of us want, and expecting that we will pay for them because she wants them.

    Sorry ladies, just needed to rant a bit.



    Sounds like she just doesn't want or care about the flowers. (I think corsages are unwieldy - pin on is better, unless you have a coat and then you have to worry about them getting crushed.) If she wanted them she'd be happy to have you pay.

    It's nice of you to accommodate her where you can, and stay strong with things that don't need to happen :smile: 
    STARMOON44
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'd consider getting FMIL a small nosegay bouquet.  Its a tiny, hand held bouquet.  That way she can carry it if she wants, but if not, its not a big deal.  This was what we gave to my mom and MIL at our wedding.  Both were happy to not have to wear anything.

    Sorry she is being a PITA.  I'm sure if you didn't get her flowers, but still got your mom one, she would ask where hers is on the day of the wedding!  So I would still get something small.  I'd probably not splurge on a fancier flower.

    MesmrEwe
  • Thanks ladies!

    @OliveOilsMom I like the nosegay bouquet idea! I think my mom wants flowers, and definitely don't want MIL to feel left out. I think her issue is mostly cost, but also that they'll die (this was the point she tried to drive home when she tried to force the silk bouquet from her wedding on me), so I'm toying with making things from the flowers made from book pages or making macrame flowers myself to do this. 

    Not a hill for me to die on, and I've been laughing to myself about this situation. And both FI and I have nicely put our foot down on things and bean dip like crazy when certain topics come up! 
    SP29
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2016
    MairePoppy, that is BRILLIANT!!!!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    MairePoppy[Deleted User]
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