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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal shower

I am making a guest list for my bridal shower. My fiance has a big family and I have several close friends (like family) that I want to invite. We will be having the party at my MOH's house, and while there is lots of room (and to keep the costs down for my bridesmaids) I don't want to make the shower a grand affair.

I understand that I may have to cut back on the guest list, but I don't know how far I should go. I was only planning on inviting people that live (relatively) locally and that might actually go, but that still leaves a ton of people. 

How did you cut back on your bridal shower guest list? Ideally, I would want to keep it to 30-35 people. 

Re: Bridal shower

  • Typically you invite immediate family and close friends. 

    As @levioosa explains, it is really up to your hostess to determine how many guests she is comfortable inviting.  It involves more than simply the "space" in which the event is held.  How the "affair" is handled is up to the hosts.  You really should have no involvement in it beyond offering the guest list.

    OP, you said, "I understand that I may have to cut back on the guest list, but I don't know how far I should go. I was only planning on inviting people that live (relatively) locally and that might actually go, but that still leaves a ton of people."

    Do you know whether this will be your only shower?  Is there a chance someone in your FI's family will host their own shower?  That may help in your decision making process.  Additionally, in my family, we have some OOT (immediate family) relatives that have made it crystal clear that when a big event, such as a wedding or baby shower occurs, they want to be extended an invitation despite being unable to attend.  You might want to ask your mom whether you have any relatives that might feel this way. 
  • Totally agree with levioosa.  Ask your MOH for her preferred number of guests and use that as your guide.

    For me personally, once I had that number, I'd start my list in circles, as I would do for the wedding (the one concession I might make compared to the wedding would be to have local vs. out of town circles).  So if your MOH can host 20, and you reach 18 with moms, sisters, grandmas, and best friends, but have 8 aunts to invite, that would be a circle too far.

    I also agree with levioosa that your shower list should really be a select group - whatever that means for you and your FI.
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