I am in need of some serious unbiased perspective on a situation I am having with planning my wedding. I am going to keep the details as short and to the point as possible. My finace and I decided initially we wanted to have a destination wedding. My fiancé knew that none of his siblings would be attending but he was ok with that as long as his parents come. My parents are paying for everything and we really don’t have a budget but I don’t want things to get out of hand with the spending, so Mexico was the perfect option….until we told my finace’s parents about the plan. His father immediately said they would not be going anywhere that required them to fly. So basically, if you have the wedding in Mexico we aren’t coming…end of story. My fiancé and I were upset because we want them to be there. So we then decided to have the wedding in Florida which would give everyone about a 10 hour drive to make it. I will add this, the Florida wedding would be double, if not triple, what it would be for us to have it in Mexico but my parents were ok with that. When we gave this news to his parents his mother was very supportive and excited but his father immediately became negative and said that none of my finace’s siblings would be able to come because they couldn’t afford it(even though they have over a year to save up for it). After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that there is no way I am going to allow my parent’s to pay that much more money for us to accommodate his family and his dad continue to be so rude and negative. So here we are now… I am wanting to go back to the original plan and have the wedding in Mexico, his parents have over a year to make up their mind about coming but at the end of the day this was our favorite idea and I think they should be supportive of that. My biggest concern is my future in laws resenting me and my fiancé resenting me. But at this point I am beginning to resent them. What should my next move be?
You have to make a decision about what is most important; having his family there or having it where you want. You can't tell people how to spend their money either; not his family spending money flying to a destination wedding or your family who has offered to spend money on your wedding. You could always have a local wedding and Honeymoon in Mexico. Best of both worlds, your families there to witness your wedding and the tropical location you want.Knottie1431910776 said:I am in need of some serious unbiased perspective on a situation I am having with planning my wedding. I am going to keep the details as short and to the point as possible. My finace and I decided initially we wanted to have a destination wedding. My fiancé knew that none of his siblings would be attending but he was ok with that as long as his parents come. My parents are paying for everything and we really don’t have a budget but I don’t want things to get out of hand with the spending, so Mexico was the perfect option….until we told my finace’s parents about the plan. His father immediately said they would not be going anywhere that required them to fly. So basically, if you have the wedding in Mexico we aren’t coming…end of story. My fiancé and I were upset because we want them to be there. So we then decided to have the wedding in Florida which would give everyone about a 10 hour drive to make it. I will add this, the Florida wedding would be double, if not triple, what it would be for us to have it in Mexico but my parents were ok with that. When we gave this news to his parents his mother was very supportive and excited but his father immediately became negative and said that none of my finace’s siblings would be able to come because they couldn’t afford it(even though they have over a year to save up for it). After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that there is no way I am going to allow my parent’s to pay that much more money for us to accommodate his family and his dad continue to be so rude and negative. So here we are now… I am wanting to go back to the original plan and have the wedding in Mexico, his parents have over a year to make up their mind about coming but at the end of the day this was our favorite idea and I think they should be supportive of that. My biggest concern is my future in laws resenting me and my fiancé resenting me. But at this point I am beginning to resent them. What should my next move be?
Knottie1431910776 said:I am in need of some serious unbiased perspective on a situation I am having with planning my wedding. I am going to keep the details as short and to the point as possible. My finace and I decided initially we wanted to have a destination wedding. My fiancé knew that none of his siblings would be attending but he was ok with that as long as his parents come. My parents are paying for everything and we really don’t have a budget but I don’t want things to get out of hand with the spending, so Mexico was the perfect option….until we told my finace’s parents about the plan. His father immediately said they would not be going anywhere that required them to fly. So basically, if you have the wedding in Mexico we aren’t coming…end of story. My fiancé and I were upset because we want them to be there. So we then decided to have the wedding in Florida which would give everyone about a 10 hour drive to make it. I will add this, the Florida wedding would be double, if not triple, what it would be for us to have it in Mexico but my parents were ok with that. When we gave this news to his parents his mother was very supportive and excited but his father immediately became negative and said that none of my finace’s siblings would be able to come because they couldn’t afford it(even though they have over a year to save up for it). After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that there is no way I am going to allow my parent’s to pay that much more money for us to accommodate his family and his dad continue to be so rude and negative. So here we are now… I am wanting to go back to the original plan and have the wedding in Mexico, his parents have over a year to make up their mind about coming but at the end of the day this was our favorite idea and I think they should be supportive of that. My biggest concern is my future in laws resenting me and my fiancé resenting me. But at this point I am beginning to resent them. What should my next move be?
I bolded all the times you refer to you alone and italicized the times you refer to your and your FI together. At least 8 times it was "I think" or "my wedding". I counted four times where you reference you and your fiancé together. This is quite telling for me.
This isn't you and your family vs. him and his family. Flip it around - how would you feel if your fiancé wanted to plan your wedding so that your parents couldn't attend (for whatever reason) simply because he didn't like something your parents said? These people are about to be your family and you'll likely have to deal with them for a long time. I suggest you start treating them like it.
Re: Destination wedding dilemma
Let us know what you and FI decide.
Wherever you opt to get married, please look into the requirements for it. Your guests deserve to see you actually get married.
Beyond that, if you love Mexico then go there. On your honeymoon. I don't know about you but I'd rather have my family with me for ONE DAY then to have to wake up and eat with them for days.
Thank you for taking this so well. I'm not very good at sugarcoating anything and we're known here to be blunt. I know it can be heard to "hear" but we really mean the best.