How to Have Bridesmaids Without Them Actually Being Bridesmaids
Some background: I have a number of close relationships and have been a bridesmaid in 13 weddings, most of which have been a joy. I am now engaged (at 31). I would like a simple event, and to me that means not having the 10 bridesmaids I would probably want. My fiancé doesn’t have a large list of possible groomsmen, so we’ve decided to each have our sisters (1 each) stand with us. The thing is, there is a group of women who I love dearly and somehow want to “call out” without them needing to wear a matching dress or stand during a ceremony. A friend suggested listing them in the program as “bridal party” and having them be readers, ushers, etc. I was thinking maybe there’d be a way to have them wear a flower in their hair to identify them as being a part of it, but half of me thinks that idea is dumb.
Does anyone have ideas or feedback?! Thanks for any thoughts!
Re: How to Have Bridesmaids Without Them Actually Being Bridesmaids
I wouldn't list these women in your program (especially not as "bridal party"). If you want to give them a corsage to wear, that'd be fine (not in their hair, though).
Ditto PP. And don't go handing out jobs to these women either. Guest book attendant, program hander outer are not honor positions to give people. Think of it this way, if a basket or sign could do the job, then don't assign it to a person.
I think it would be a nice way to honor these ladies with corsages (wrist ones!), if you must. But make sure you won't hurt other friends feelings by singling out these 10 ladies.
Also, for future reference, please stick to black font. When you use different colors, it can be hard to read.
Invite them to join you when you go for your mani/pedi the week of the wedding. Let them know that at a certain time, you want them to be at a certain location so that you can do photos with them. But let them just be guests. Here are some reasons to not do more then that
I get that these women are special to you, that's why you are inviting them to your wedding. Just to be able to share this moment with you, even as a guest with no special attention, will still mean a lot to them.
Rather than flowers in the hair if you want to you can give them a corsage. It's a subtle way to recognize important people. For example my aunt who helped me out a bunch I had a corsage for her.
It's really not necessary though, I'm sure these women know they are important to you and are just looking forward to celebrating with you. I definitely wouldn't put them in the program.
I told my friends that since our wedding was so small (35 people), we kept it just family. Honestly, I think some of my friends were a little relieved. We're in a wedding surge lately, so some had been bridesmaids 2 times already that year, there was a destination wedding for another friend, so it was getting pricey.
I did consider having them there when I got ready, but in the end just had my sister in law. I felt like I had plenty of fun with my friends, and if was equally as important that they were just there vs bridesmaids.
I don't think you have to do anything "special" per se. You could get them corsages if you want, but to me that is personally a bit weird (but not wrong)- it's OK if you don't have bridesmaids, and as a guest I think I would wonder why random women have corsages. Having a friend do a reading, or having them sign the marriage license as your witness are also options, but that won't cover 10 friends, thus I would lean towards none.
My friend, who was my MOH, didn't have a WP. A few of us still threw her a shower and bacchelorette because we wanted to. Another friend planned for 4 of us to go get a mani/pedi the Friday before the wedding.
The above is something you could do- take them all out to lunch one day and let them know how important they are to you. Ask if any are interested in getting their nails done with you before the wedding, maybe go to dinner beforehand.
We have something (in Texas) called a House Party that is the female equivalent of the ushers. I have contemplated having 12 House Party members, all wearing the same shade of dress or whatever, and only have my sister by my side. Although this is a bit confusing, as I am getting married in California and several close friends here. I have a year until the wedding date, but I definitely empathize with you!! It is a difficult decision, I totally understand.
Good luck and let me know what I am in for!
@Knottie1456264999, please don't ask these women to do this. If you want to honor them in some way, give them a corsage or something. This really isn't necessary / appropriate.
Most of us southerners hate being lumped in with trashy and classless traditions just as much as we hate being portrayed as uneducated and inbred.