I really love the idea of mismatched bridesmaid dresses. I love the look. I also love that it will make my maids feel more comfortable in something they pick out. However, I'm terrified that it won't "come together" like if I send a color palette, everyone will pick the exact same color except one person or the dresses won't look good together or have the same feel.
I'm seriously considering giving each girl three different options on what I think and having each of them pick. Is that weird? I know that everyone says to either stay in control and pick the one dress or don't stay in control at all with mismatched. Any ideas on how I can have my cake and eat it too?
Lol.
Re: Mismatched bridesmaid dresses
IMO, a couple of additional criteria doesn't make it too much more difficult to find a dress as long as what you ask for is reasonable.
However if you are still worried maybe a compromise would be to select 1 color and then let them all pick their dresses, then you don't have to worry about that one scenario.
If you do just pick 3 options and let them pick I think that is still ok, I mean it is giving them more freedom than picking 1 dress. Won't you still have the issue of what if they all pick one of them except for 1 person? Again I don't think it'd look that bad if it did happen but this option doesn't really address your first concern.
Now then, the reason I went with any black dress for mine is because I had originally wanted something like the Sex and the City wedding (red, blue, black). Well, my mom started busting out paint palettes and showing me what goes together and what doesn't and I started thinking it would be a nightmare. So I scrapped the idea and went with black.
Moral of my story- yes, it's easy to freak that mismatched won't actually match well enough. I think browsing Pinterest will help so you can see that very different dresses do still look nice together (like mixed metallics). Or, go to a place like DB where you can just say "Any David's brand in x color" and call it a day. Everyone will find something they like.
I've started to make a Pinterest board with the kinds of styles and shapes I like (complete with plus size models, different cuts, etc.), so they have an idea of what I'm thinking of. Plus, it links to online retailers at a variety of price points, which may or may not be helpful for them. Hopefully it makes things more coherent, while still giving them a lot of options.
I was just in a wedding where we did bronze to gold to copper sequins. Everyone's dress was significantly different, but the mixed metallics worked out well. Unless your palette is of different neutrals, I would stick with one color hue (i.e. not blue and green and yellow, but shades of blue). You really can't control how many people end up in the same or different hue.
Because, truthfully, I'm never going to wear again a knee-length dress you foist upon me. I decided in my middle-age that I much prefer a long dress. So, if you narrow down my options to David's Bridal Royal Blue knee-length, it's going to be a dress I wear once and never again. But if you tell me to get a dark blue dress, I'm going to find a sassy off-the-shoulder number that makes me feel foxy and I'll want to wear all the time.
I'm so happy that she is so chill and laid back, telling me to wear whatever I am comfortable in in terms of everything.
Each of them emailed me before ordering to let me know what they chose, and each of them picked the same dress without knowing what the others chose!
I don't think I'm going to do a David's Bridal pick. Our wedding is super casual and I was hoping the girls could pick out sundresses from like Nordstrom or Modcloth or something. That way they would be able to wear them again.
When I said the thing about the three dresses I meant that for each girl I would give them three choices. Each girl would get a different three. (that makes me sounds a little big more control-freak-ish, right?) I am going to have 6 bridesmaids..
I guess that's where I'm more concerned too. If I say, Sundresses, I feel like that could go in many different ways. and I want the dresses to "feel" the same...
I'm sure I'm over thinking this.
For a casual wedding I suggest telling them short dresses (knee length) in whatever color(s) you like, in a light fabric (you could even say no satin or tell them chiffon, jersey, cotton, etc). The length, color, and fabric suggestions are going to make them fit together even though they are different dresses from different stores.
Or you can ask their budget and choose one dress in it. I think you either need to trust their judgement to choose dresses on their own (which I completely recommend) or just choose one dress. But this choosing three for each to choose one seems more controlling and like it will cause more problems.
ETA: I feel like giving them three different choices each is micro-managing their choices and feels like you're trying to give them the appearance of choosing their own dress, without actually giving them a choice.
I agree with adk on giving them a colour family and letting them pick what works.
I'm also not a huge fan of giving a fabric requirement- I just don't think it matters.
I told my BM's "midnight blue, David's Bridal, cocktail length" (though now I agree that giving them "cocktail length" was too much- who cares what length it is??). I only had 2 women- my MOH and BM. MOH picked a dress in satin, straps, calf length. BM picked a dress in cotton, knee length and strapless. Both different silhouettes. I think they both looked great! BM was worried her cotton dress wouldn't look fancy enough beside satin, but I wasn't worried about that. The cotton dress did have a bit of a sheen to it.
Me: Whatever.
Sister: No, but, what should I wear?
Me: Clothes?
Sister: Ok so how about a blue dress? I have a blue dress.
Me: Sure, cool.
Mom: I want to wear blue too! And it's going to be silk! And the collar will be up here! I'm going to get it DESIGNED.
Me: Great!
Dad: Can I wear shorts and a Hawaiian shirt?
Me: Sure thing.
Mom: No he CANNOT.
Me: He can wear whatever he wants.
Dad: Did you hear that??
My cousin did this. The bride was happy because she was kept in the loop without having to be TOO involved. BMs were happy because it was no-stress, lighthearted way to check in with each other and compare dresses.
Bonus: it kept the conversation light and fun. Just an idea.
My favorite part of the photos with my bridesmaids? I love these people, and in the photos they look like themselves. They look comfortable and happy and are showing off their own personality and sense of style, in the way that is fully unique to them.
As an aside, I did end up getting a LOT of texts with dress pictures that I had to "approve". If I was asked "this or that" I gave my opinion, but otherwise I never said no to anything!
im thinking of the same idea and my sister also had myself & her bridesmaids in mismatched dresses! it looked fantastic!