Interfaith Wedding

Re: Interfaith Wedding

• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2016

  Unfortunately, they are two different religions whose traditions don't mix well.
  
  The Catholic church doesn't permit its members who want to continue to be eligible for communion to marry outside of Catholic churches and doesn't generally allow deviations to "honor" or "recognize" other religious traditions in wedding ceremonies in its churches.
  
  Jewish wedding traditions also tend to be religious in nature and many Jews don't care to see them in wedding ceremonies for the purpose of "honoring" the Jewish religion if you don't practice it.
  
  So, honestly, pick one religion or the other and have your wedding in that tradition if having a religious ceremony is important to you, or go for a strictly non-religious ceremony, but don't try to "honor" both religions by trying to "incorporate" traditions from each side, because it just doesn't work.

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• JCocco219 member

  

  February 2016 edited February 2016

  I have to disagree with the previous post. First example, my brother is Jewish, his wife Catholic, they found a Rabbi who would come into the Church and marry them, their Church allowed it.  They got married in the Church but had an interfaith beautiful ceremony.  Second example: I am Jewish and my fiance is Catholic, and we wanted both religions incorporated, so we spoke to his priest which he grew up with and who has been there through all his sacraments, and he said he would marry us.  We got a dispensation form and we are getting married at our reception venue.  We went through Pre cana, have met with the priest several times to go over many topics and many things.  We are also having a Rabbi there.  The Priest and Rabbi have performed many weddings together which is why he recommended this Rabbi to us, my Rabbi will not marry us because he is a Conservative Rabbi, you must find a Reform Rabbi or basically a "traveling rabbi".   We will be having some Jewish traditions and some Catholic traditions at the wedding.  My FSIL was the MOH in her best friends wedding who had the same Priest and Rabbi and she said it was one of the most beautiful ceremonies she attended and incorporated both religions and both families.  The ceremony is 25-30 minutes so it is not long and drawn out, it is a perfect amount of time to incorporate everything you would want.  There are also interfaith clergy out there.  You can find someone who is and they will make sure to incorporate both religions equally. It is possible, you just have to talk to people in your area and find someone to accommodate what you need.  I would ask in your local board for suggestions. 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2016

  JCocco219 said:

  I have to disagree with the previous post. First example, my brother is Jewish, his wife Catholic, they found a Rabbi who would come into the Church and marry them, their Church allowed it.  They got married in the Church but had an interfaith beautiful ceremony.  Second example: I am Jewish and my fiance is Catholic, and we wanted both religions incorporated, so we spoke to his priest which he grew up with and who has been there through all his sacraments, and he said he would marry us.  We got a dispensation form and we are getting married at our reception venue.  We went through Pre cana, have met with the priest several times to go over many topics and many things.  We are also having a Rabbi there.  The Priest and Rabbi have performed many weddings together which is why he recommended this Rabbi to us, my Rabbi will not marry us because he is a Conservative Rabbi, you must find a Reform Rabbi or basically a "traveling rabbi".   We will be having some Jewish traditions and some Catholic traditions at the wedding.  My FSIL was the MOH in her best friends wedding who had the same Priest and Rabbi and she said it was one of the most beautiful ceremonies she attended and incorporated both religions and both families.  The ceremony is 25-30 minutes so it is not long and drawn out, it is a perfect amount of time to incorporate everything you would want.  There are also interfaith clergy out there.  You can find someone who is and they will make sure to incorporate both religions equally. It is possible, you just have to talk to people in your area and find someone to accommodate what you need.  I would ask in your local board for suggestions. 

  Sorry, but your brother's experience doesn't mean that it works for everyone.
  
  Over in the main forum, you can find several posters who find that in their experience, Catholic priests and dioceses don't allow any deviation whatsoever from the standard wedding ceremony performed in their churches, and don't allow those who take part in them to receive communion.  This is not to say that you can't find Catholic clergy who will, but as a rule, they will not.
  
  As for rabbis who agree to it, it's situational.  Some do (mostly Conservative and Reform).  Generally Orthodox rabbis won't go for it.

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• JCocco219 member

  

  March 2016

  Jen4948 said:

  JCocco219 said:

  I have to disagree with the previous post. First example, my brother is Jewish, his wife Catholic, they found a Rabbi who would come into the Church and marry them, their Church allowed it.  They got married in the Church but had an interfaith beautiful ceremony.  Second example: I am Jewish and my fiance is Catholic, and we wanted both religions incorporated, so we spoke to his priest which he grew up with and who has been there through all his sacraments, and he said he would marry us.  We got a dispensation form and we are getting married at our reception venue.  We went through Pre cana, have met with the priest several times to go over many topics and many things.  We are also having a Rabbi there.  The Priest and Rabbi have performed many weddings together which is why he recommended this Rabbi to us, my Rabbi will not marry us because he is a Conservative Rabbi, you must find a Reform Rabbi or basically a "traveling rabbi".   We will be having some Jewish traditions and some Catholic traditions at the wedding.  My FSIL was the MOH in her best friends wedding who had the same Priest and Rabbi and she said it was one of the most beautiful ceremonies she attended and incorporated both religions and both families.  The ceremony is 25-30 minutes so it is not long and drawn out, it is a perfect amount of time to incorporate everything you would want.  There are also interfaith clergy out there.  You can find someone who is and they will make sure to incorporate both religions equally. It is possible, you just have to talk to people in your area and find someone to accommodate what you need.  I would ask in your local board for suggestions. 

  Sorry, but your brother's experience doesn't mean that it works for everyone.
  
  Over in the main forum, you can find several posters who find that in their experience, Catholic priests and dioceses don't allow any deviation whatsoever from the standard wedding ceremony performed in their churches, and don't allow those who take part in them to receive communion.  This is not to say that you can't find Catholic clergy who will, but as a rule, they will not.
  
  As for rabbis who agree to it, it's situational.  Some do (mostly Conservative and Reform).  Generally Orthodox rabbis won't go for it.

  I am not saying it works for everyone.  What I am saying is that it can be done and I have many friends and family that prove it can be done.  My husband married me and he is still eligible for communion and is still recognized as being Catholic.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2016

  JCocco219 said:

  Jen4948 said:

  JCocco219 said:

  I have to disagree with the previous post. First example, my brother is Jewish, his wife Catholic, they found a Rabbi who would come into the Church and marry them, their Church allowed it.  They got married in the Church but had an interfaith beautiful ceremony.  Second example: I am Jewish and my fiance is Catholic, and we wanted both religions incorporated, so we spoke to his priest which he grew up with and who has been there through all his sacraments, and he said he would marry us.  We got a dispensation form and we are getting married at our reception venue.  We went through Pre cana, have met with the priest several times to go over many topics and many things.  We are also having a Rabbi there.  The Priest and Rabbi have performed many weddings together which is why he recommended this Rabbi to us, my Rabbi will not marry us because he is a Conservative Rabbi, you must find a Reform Rabbi or basically a "traveling rabbi".   We will be having some Jewish traditions and some Catholic traditions at the wedding.  My FSIL was the MOH in her best friends wedding who had the same Priest and Rabbi and she said it was one of the most beautiful ceremonies she attended and incorporated both religions and both families.  The ceremony is 25-30 minutes so it is not long and drawn out, it is a perfect amount of time to incorporate everything you would want.  There are also interfaith clergy out there.  You can find someone who is and they will make sure to incorporate both religions equally. It is possible, you just have to talk to people in your area and find someone to accommodate what you need.  I would ask in your local board for suggestions. 

  Sorry, but your brother's experience doesn't mean that it works for everyone.
  
  Over in the main forum, you can find several posters who find that in their experience, Catholic priests and dioceses don't allow any deviation whatsoever from the standard wedding ceremony performed in their churches, and don't allow those who take part in them to receive communion.  This is not to say that you can't find Catholic clergy who will, but as a rule, they will not.
  
  As for rabbis who agree to it, it's situational.  Some do (mostly Conservative and Reform).  Generally Orthodox rabbis won't go for it.

  I am not saying it works for everyone.  What I am saying is that it can be done and I have many friends and family that prove it can be done.  My husband married me and he is still eligible for communion and is still recognized as being Catholic.

  But it sounds like your husband's experience is very unusual within the Church. Certainly the OP can talk to whoever is officiating and find out what they will agree to, but many officiants of both the Catholic Church and Jewish denominations won't agree to mixing religious traditions (and many lay persons don't either). 
  
  So for that reason, rather than try to incorporate religious "traditions" from both sides, I would suggest instead coming up with a ceremony in just one religion, but otherwise incorporating secular traditions of importance to each side.

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