Moms and Maids

FMIL Dress Shopping 2 Months before wedding

My wedding is 2 months away, and FMIL still hasn't found her dress. Back in November, she had shown me a few dresses she ordered online; however, this past week, she calls me and asks where my mom ordered her dress. Not sure if a salon can get one in in time. I have offered before if she wants to go dress shopping that I could go with her if she wants, but not sure how much I should offer/push. We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March. 

Should I help? What would you do? FMIL and I haven't exactly gotten along during the wedding planning process, not sure why? So I thought this could be a good bonding opportunity, but not sure... any suggestions?

Re: FMIL Dress Shopping 2 Months before wedding

  • She knows when your wedding date is and she will find something to wear before then. My mother didn't decide on what to wear until a week before my wedding and the only problem it caused was with her preferred seamstress (whole different story). Let your FMIL choose her own dress. If she asks you to go shopping with her then you can accept, but don't push it.
    OurWildKingdomSP29InLoveInQueens
  • Two months is plenty of time to find a dress. This is something you shouldn't be worrying about at all - she's an adult and will find something in time. Don't try to force a bonding opportunity if it's not happening naturally. She'll invite you along shopping if she wants you there - some people prefer shopping alone. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Since she asked, you can tell her where your mother bought her dress, but beyond that, I'd only respond to specific requests from your FMIL for help finding her dress.  If she doesn't make specific requests, then I'd leave it alone.
    OurWildKingdomSP29short+sassy
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    This is not something for you to worry about in any way. Seriously.

    There are plenty of department stores that sell nice dresses. She really doesn't have to order one from a salon. Even if she chooses to, whether it will be in on time isn't your problem to worry about.
    OurWildKingdomSP29
  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers
    edited February 2016
    She literally can buy and wear anything from anywhere.  It doesn't have to be a special dress labeled only for mothers and ordered from a wedding boutique. She can hit up Macy's or Nordstroms or Ann Taylor or one of any number of dozens of stores in countless malls all over the country.  She's an adult who has presumably dressed herself for numerous events throughout her life. She's got this covered.  Answer the question she asked you and then go Netflix and chill.
    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueens[Deleted User]
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My wedding is 2 months away, and FMIL still hasn't found her dress. Back in November, she had shown me a few dresses she ordered online; however, this past week, she calls me and asks where my mom ordered her dress. Not sure if a salon can get one in in time. I have offered before if she wants to go dress shopping that I could go with her if she wants, but not sure how much I should offer/push. We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March. 

    Should I help? What would you do? FMIL and I haven't exactly gotten along during the wedding planning process, not sure why? So I thought this could be a good bonding opportunity, but not sure... any suggestions?
      Based on your post history, it sounds as if you have been hounding FMIL about her dress since at least last November.  Is she asking for the name of where your mother purchased her dress because you want them both to wear a navy dress?

    OP, it sounds as if you have a tendency to insert yourself into issues you need not involve yourself in.  It sounds to me as if the struggle with your FMIL is trying to fulfill YOUR wishes regarding the dress. 

    Stop offering to go shopping with her.  If and when she calls again, make it crystal clear that she is free to wear whatever it is that makes her feel comfortable and beautiful.  Maybe she will find something while in Colorado or Florida. 
    InLoveInQueensOliveOilsMom
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MobKaz said:
    My wedding is 2 months away, and FMIL still hasn't found her dress. Back in November, she had shown me a few dresses she ordered online; however, this past week, she calls me and asks where my mom ordered her dress. Not sure if a salon can get one in in time. I have offered before if she wants to go dress shopping that I could go with her if she wants, but not sure how much I should offer/push. We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March. 

    Should I help? What would you do? FMIL and I haven't exactly gotten along during the wedding planning process, not sure why? So I thought this could be a good bonding opportunity, but not sure... any suggestions?
      Based on your post history, it sounds as if you have been hounding FMIL about her dress since at least last November.  Is she asking for the name of where your mother purchased her dress because you want them both to wear a navy dress?

    OP, it sounds as if you have a tendency to insert yourself into issues you need not involve yourself in.  It sounds to me as if the struggle with your FMIL is trying to fulfill YOUR wishes regarding the dress. 

    Stop offering to go shopping with her.  If and when she calls again, make it crystal clear that she is free to wear whatever it is that makes her feel comfortable and beautiful.  Maybe she will find something while in Colorado or Florida. 
    I thought this as well.  Also, I think I know exactly why FMIL and OP haven't been getting along.
    MobKazInLoveInQueensHeffalump
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Both my MIL and mom bought dresses off the rack.   I think my mom perhaps bought hers 2-3 months before the wedding.   She modeled dresses for me over Skype and I kept saying "whatever makes you feel beautiful."  She looked awesome! 
    OurWildKingdom
  • OP - people plan funerals in the span of three days and yet those attending figure out what to wear, your FMIL has time!  Even if it was you the bride trying to find a dress and you're two months from your wedding, I'd say you're fine and have options!  There are tons of stores she can purchase off the rack from and have something at any end of the formalness and size spectrum!  I think my Mom went shopping for the dress she wore to my brother's wedding a couple weeks before and looked great!  Delegate the detail to FMIL, answer her question she had, but otherwise DROP IT! You've got too many other details to deal with.  Even if she shows up in a feed sack dress, it's going to be o.k.!!!

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    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueens
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    A grown women should be capable of finding a dress within two months. If she asks for suggestions, Nordstrom  or Macy's has nice selections, generous return policies, probably free shipping and can deliver in about a week.
                       
    OurWildKingdom
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