FMIL Dress Shopping 2 Months before wedding

GlfGrl43016 · February 2016

My wedding is 2 months away, and FMIL still hasn't found her dress. Back in November, she had shown me a few dresses she ordered online; however, this past week, she calls me and asks where my mom ordered her dress. Not sure if a salon can get one in in time. I have offered before if she wants to go dress shopping that I could go with her if she wants, but not sure how much I should offer/push. We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March.

Should I help? What would you do? FMIL and I haven't exactly gotten along during the wedding planning process, not sure why? So I thought this could be a good bonding opportunity, but not sure... any suggestions?

[Deleted User] · February 2016

GlfGrl43016 said:

My wedding is 2 months away, and FMIL still hasn't found her dress. Back in November, she had shown me a few dresses she ordered online; however, this past week, she calls me and asks where my mom ordered her dress. Not sure if a salon can get one in in time. I have offered before if she wants to go dress shopping that I could go with her if she wants, but not sure how much I should offer/push. We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March.

Should I help? What would you do? FMIL and I haven't exactly gotten along during the wedding planning process, not sure why? So I thought this could be a good bonding opportunity, but not sure... any suggestions?

Well, it doesn't matter what she wears, so if she decides to wear a nice pair of slacks and a blouse she already owns to your wedding, it doesn't affect you in the slightest. Don't push. At all. She wears what she wears. She's an adult who has been dressing herself for longer than you've been alive. She has it under control.

charlotte989875 · February 2016

She knows when your wedding date is and she will find something to wear before then. My mother didn't decide on what to wear until a week before my wedding and the only problem it caused was with her preferred seamstress (whole different story). Let your FMIL choose her own dress. If she asks you to go shopping with her then you can accept, but don't push it.

floridabride44 · February 2016

Two months is plenty of time to find a dress. This is something you shouldn't be worrying about at all - she's an adult and will find something in time. Don't try to force a bonding opportunity if it's not happening naturally. She'll invite you along shopping if she wants you there - some people prefer shopping alone.

Jen4948 · February 2016

Since she asked, you can tell her where your mother bought her dress, but beyond that, I'd only respond to specific requests from your FMIL for help finding her dress. If she doesn't make specific requests, then I'd leave it alone.

frenchiekin · February 2016

She's not going to show up naked. Well, hopefully not.

Really, don't stress out over this. Ditto PPs in that you should not push this forced bonding, especially if your relationship has been off lately. You offered help, it's on her to take you up on it if she wants. Answer any questions she has and be done with it. Two months is more than enough time to find a dress, and it doesn't need to be one ordered from a salon. She could find one at the mall a week before the wedding, or she may decide to wear something in her closet already. In any case, not your worry. She will be wearing clothes and you will be blissfully happy and married and not even paying attention to what she's wearing. Consider it one more thing crossed off your list.

thefanciestbeckler · February 2016

This is not something for you to worry about in any way. Seriously.

There are plenty of department stores that sell nice dresses. She really doesn't have to order one from a salon. Even if she chooses to, whether it will be in on time isn't your problem to worry about.

YourDogDontKnowSit · February 2016

GlfGrl43016 said:

We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March.

What's the point of the bolded? Sounds like you think she shouldn't be traveling for pleasure or something?

Help her by telling her where your mom ordered her dress. If she asks you for help, you can go shopping with her if you want. Otherwise let her dress herself like she's done for presumably years.

jacques27 · February 2016

She literally can buy and wear anything from anywhere. It doesn't have to be a special dress labeled only for mothers and ordered from a wedding boutique. She can hit up Macy's or Nordstroms or Ann Taylor or one of any number of dozens of stores in countless malls all over the country. She's an adult who has presumably dressed herself for numerous events throughout her life. She's got this covered. Answer the question she asked you and then go Netflix and chill.

MobKaz · February 2016

GlfGrl43016 said:

My wedding is 2 months away, and FMIL still hasn't found her dress. Back in November, she had shown me a few dresses she ordered online; however, this past week, she calls me and asks where my mom ordered her dress. Not sure if a salon can get one in in time. I have offered before if she wants to go dress shopping that I could go with her if she wants, but not sure how much I should offer/push. We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March.

Should I help? What would you do? FMIL and I haven't exactly gotten along during the wedding planning process, not sure why? So I thought this could be a good bonding opportunity, but not sure... any suggestions?

Based on your post history, it sounds as if you have been hounding FMIL about her dress since at least last November. Is she asking for the name of where your mother purchased her dress because you want them both to wear a navy dress?

OP, it sounds as if you have a tendency to insert yourself into issues you need not involve yourself in. It sounds to me as if the struggle with your FMIL is trying to fulfill YOUR wishes regarding the dress.

Stop offering to go shopping with her. If and when she calls again, make it crystal clear that she is free to wear whatever it is that makes her feel comfortable and beautiful. Maybe she will find something while in Colorado or Florida.

levioosa · February 2016

MobKaz said:

GlfGrl43016 said:

My wedding is 2 months away, and FMIL still hasn't found her dress. Back in November, she had shown me a few dresses she ordered online; however, this past week, she calls me and asks where my mom ordered her dress. Not sure if a salon can get one in in time. I have offered before if she wants to go dress shopping that I could go with her if she wants, but not sure how much I should offer/push. We are getting close and she is currently in Colorado for fun, then comes home next week for a few days before heading back to Florida for the month of March.

Should I help? What would you do? FMIL and I haven't exactly gotten along during the wedding planning process, not sure why? So I thought this could be a good bonding opportunity, but not sure... any suggestions?

Based on your post history, it sounds as if you have been hounding FMIL about her dress since at least last November. Is she asking for the name of where your mother purchased her dress because you want them both to wear a navy dress?

OP, it sounds as if you have a tendency to insert yourself into issues you need not involve yourself in. It sounds to me as if the struggle with your FMIL is trying to fulfill YOUR wishes regarding the dress.

Stop offering to go shopping with her. If and when she calls again, make it crystal clear that she is free to wear whatever it is that makes her feel comfortable and beautiful. Maybe she will find something while in Colorado or Florida.

I thought this as well. Also, I think I know exactly why FMIL and OP haven't been getting along.

holyguacamole79 · February 2016

Both my MIL and mom bought dresses off the rack. I think my mom perhaps bought hers 2-3 months before the wedding. She modeled dresses for me over Skype and I kept saying "whatever makes you feel beautiful." She looked awesome!

MesmrEwe · February 2016

OP - people plan funerals in the span of three days and yet those attending figure out what to wear, your FMIL has time! Even if it was you the bride trying to find a dress and you're two months from your wedding, I'd say you're fine and have options! There are tons of stores she can purchase off the rack from and have something at any end of the formalness and size spectrum! I think my Mom went shopping for the dress she wore to my brother's wedding a couple weeks before and looked great! Delegate the detail to FMIL, answer her question she had, but otherwise DROP IT! You've got too many other details to deal with. Even if she shows up in a feed sack dress, it's going to be o.k.!!!

AddieCake · February 2016

2 months? Oh, the horror! How will she ever get to a store and buy a dress in so little time?!?!? Eat a cupcake, OP.

MairePoppy · February 2016

A grown women should be capable of finding a dress within two months. If she asks for suggestions, Nordstrom or Macy's has nice selections, generous return policies, probably free shipping and can deliver in about a week.

GlfGrl43016 · March 2016

Sorry didn't mean to disappear on all the suggestions! I was sent on a last minute business trip!

Anyways, I appreciate your help... I just wasn't sure what to do. Some things got ugly during the planning process of my shower between my mom and FMIL, and FMIL has been a little weird around me, so I thought this might be a good bonding opportunity... but the good news is FSIL went shopping with FMIL and they found a dress, so all is good!

FMIL Dress Shopping 2 Months before wedding

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