This may be a little personal...

dmkane · February 2011

But my fiance and I were at dinner with another newly engaged couple (we are all very close and they have a house together already) and somehow a pre-nup got brought up. They seemed shocked that we aren't planning on having one and now I don't know if we are being naive or what!! Is this the norm? My fiance and I discussed it after and feel it is completely unnecessary since neither of us have ANY doubts, but I assume everyone getting married feels the same way. Help!

bmoruzzi · February 2011

Do you have something that it would make a prenup worth while?

booboo1978 · February 2011

Well, as I was told by a lawyer that I used to work with, prenups are for people to protect themselves, no matter what their financial status (translation: not just for millionaires).
If one of my friends had one, he wouldn't be looking at alimony payments, so he's regretting not getting one.
I think it's personal to the couple. If it's something you want to do do it. If it's not, let it ride. I know people who have, and those that haven't done one. My friend mentioned above could've saved himself a lot of pain and agony, but he chose not to do one.

Biotechick620 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_this-may-little-personal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:a4241b3c-0d14-4c2d-8ef9-44d015b0a301Post:58555181-db69-4e39-939b-0cd39bcd2f57">Re: This may be a little personal...</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you have something that it would make a prenup worth while?
Posted by bmoruzzi@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]

This was the main factor for us. My condos underwater and FI has been living with me in it paying rent to me for as long as I've owned it. Other than the condo neither of us have anything that's greater than $5-10k in value.

If either of us came into this marriage with a large sum of money, property, or possession then we would have done a prenup. I don't think either of us would ever be in a position to warrant alimony from the other.

Calypso1977 · February 2011

if you have significant assets or something like a family business its a smart thing to do. if you came to the marriage with nothing, then i dont think its necessary.

everyone thinks their marriage will last forever (myself included). but the reality is, 1 in 2 fail and time often changes people. how many times have you heard about a divorce where one half of hte couple was completely blindsided? it does happen.

dmkane · February 2011

He's finishing med school in 2 months and I've helped pay for a few semesters...neither of us have much of anything now but in a few years that will more then likely change. My gut is telling me not to get one but you've all brought up valid points for both sides.

Thanks!

Biotechick620 · February 2011

When is your wedding?

Karen's MOH · February 2011

The only way I would do it is if one of us had something significant, like a family business or family money or whatever, to protect. I was under the impression that a pre-nup usually only applies to what you come into the marriage with anyway, but it sounds like I might be wrong about that.

Either way, I know it might not be the most logical thought in the world, but doing one to protect future assets in case it doesn't work, just sounds like we would be hedging our bets and assuming there is a chance it won't work out. We are a team now.

dmkane · February 2011

Ok THANK YOU Karen's! That is my feeling 100%. Wedding is in June

Biotechick620 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_this-may-little-personal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:a4241b3c-0d14-4c2d-8ef9-44d015b0a301Post:244eac58-94ad-4a31-bc12-4d460e91fb39">Re: This may be a little personal...</a>:
[QUOTE]...Either way, I know it might not be the most logical thought in the world, but <strong>doing one to protect future assets in case it doesn't work, just sounds like we would be hedging our bets and assuming there is a chance it won't work out. We are a team now.</strong>
Posted by Karen's MOH[/QUOTE]

This. I only see them purposeful for pre-marriage assets. Anything accumulated during the marriage should not be considered "mine" or "his." You should never keep count in a relationship financially speaking either.

dmkane · February 2011

Thanks everyone for your advice. My mind is at ease now

Happy planning!

snoangel79 · February 2011

I don't have a pre-nup, I own my house in full. I actually looked into it and since it is an asset that was bought before the marriage and it is in my name my husband cannot take it from me. Things get fuzzy if we sell this house and buy another though that's when if we get divorced I could lose! I'm probably an idiot! hahaha but I hope we will last!

megandjay · February 2011

We didn't do one, same reason as PPs, no pre-martial assets to protect. I also think that what is earned during the marriage should be shared and not "mine" or "his".

karmellah · February 2011

I have nothing. FI has nothing. So no prenup is needed. If we ever get something while married, its ours reguardless if we last or not (we will because we rock lol). If I put a quarter in a slot machine and won 200 million, it's still half his. Well, techinically its all our but you know what i mean lol

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