Wedding 911

Cant Invite my Grandma

Ok Knotties buckle up and grab your popcorn.
I'm getting married in May 2016 and were sending out save-the-dates soon, my parents are paying for about 70% of our wedding (its pretty small), and the one thing they asked of me is to not invite my grandmother. A few years ago some things went down, law got involved and its been bad blood ever since. I still keep a cordial relationship with my grandmother, however i realize the family drama that comes with her and my mothers side of the family. I'm just trying to find the best way to tell my grandmother that she isn't welcome. I know it harsh, however i don't want to spend my wedding day on edge because ill be worried that someone will spout off at the mouth and cause a brawl. Advice or tips would be appreciated.
-P

Re: Cant Invite my Grandma

  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    You don't tell her that she's not invited... you don't tell anyone they're not invited.  They'll figure it out when they don't get an invite...  and ditto PP- if she asks as your wedding approaches, just give the one sentence excuse above, and bean dip your way out of there.
    [Deleted User]
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ok Knotties buckle up and grab your popcorn.
    I'm getting married in May 2016 and were sending out save-the-dates soon, my parents are paying for about 70% of our wedding (its pretty small), and the one thing they asked of me is to not invite my grandmother. A few years ago some things went down, law got involved and its been bad blood ever since. I still keep a cordial relationship with my grandmother, however i realize the family drama that comes with her and my mothers side of the family. I'm just trying to find the best way to tell my grandmother that she isn't welcome. I know it harsh, however i don't want to spend my wedding day on edge because ill be worried that someone will spout off at the mouth and cause a brawl. Advice or tips would be appreciated.
    -P
    Ditto PPs.  Don't bring it up with her.  If she says something, simply state that you couldn't invite everyone you would've liked, then change the subject.
    [Deleted User]
  • I'm going to guess that if she knows the police were called previously that there's obviously bad blood. I would think the lack of an invitation would be pretty self-explanatory. Example: my aunt isn't invited to mine because she slapped my mother at Thanksgiving one year. If she doesn't understand that, then I can't help her. If she were to bring it up I'd probably just say, "Thanksgiving."

    Grandma knows what's up. I wouldn't stress yourself out. She may be hurt, but I understand you not wanting to be on edge on your wedding day.

    And I agree with OliveOil'sMom...definite need more backstory for this popcorn.

    SP29
  • Avoid bringing it up and deal with it when she does. Chances are she isn't expecting a save the date. So the issue won't come up until she doesn't receive an invite. So you have several months before you have to deal with the issue. And who knows, miracles can happen in that time & your parents could change their mind.
  • This is unfortunate and makes me a little sade for you. I'd say the easiest and probably most civil route would be to just not talk any wedding talk with her and if she asks why she wasn't invited, reply with what everyone else is saying. Weddings are already stressful without the added family drama. You would think people who aren't the bride and groom could just manage to be civil and get along with each other for one day!
  • im going to disagree with yall. not inviting your grandma would be the biggest mistake yes there was bad blood but your grandma is only here for a short time my grandma passed away and never got to see me get married and i would have wanted her there. you may end up with regrets later cant you just invite her and tell said family please its my day act civil 
  • im going to disagree with yall. not inviting your grandma would be the biggest mistake yes there was bad blood but your grandma is only here for a short time my grandma passed away and never got to see me get married and i would have wanted her there. you may end up with regrets later cant you just invite her and tell said family please its my day act civil 


    Wow, time means nothing to you. 

    Holy shit! Are you the Doctor's new Companion?

    TAKE ME WITH YOU!

  • im going to disagree with yall. not inviting your grandma would be the biggest mistake yes there was bad blood but your grandma is only here for a short time my grandma passed away and never got to see me get married and i would have wanted her there. you may end up with regrets later cant you just invite her and tell said family please its my day act civil 
    This is dumb. Being related to someone does not entitle you to be in their lives. The end.

    PS - Why are you writing on old threads?
    MementoMoeGreenjinjo InLoveInQueens
  • Zombie thread.
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  • zombie - closing
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