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Wedding Woes

Wedding Regrets (not my marrige)

      I regret my wedding (not my marriage) While I was planning my wedding ... We didn't know then but we now know I was mentally ill. So the outcome of my wedding was way less than perfect. it haunts me I didn't get my perfect day because I was sick. so the outcome was disastrous. I'm much better now but I cant even think about wedding without becoming sad. What can I do to help this feeling

I didn't know I was sick. mental illness truly sucks My religion and my beliefs are you only take a vow once. So I cant do a vow renewal. I had gained so much weight now I'm back to a healthy size. I have yet look at my pictures because all I see is me being sick.

What Can I do?

Re: Wedding Regrets (not my marrige)

  • edited March 2016
    Those where very kind words , Thank you.


    Treatment Yes, counseling No. You made a good point my husband has been awesome through all of this. I should focus on that and I'm very grateful for him and our marriage is awesome now that I'm doing better. I just get jealous and have the why me feelings . My two best friends are getting married and I'm beyond happy for them it just stings still when I think about mine. 
    SP29short+sassy
  • We didn't to go on our honeymoon I was at my worst right after the wedding. That's a great idea. Thank you!
    randomslove
  • I totally get those feelings, but that's why I'd really recommend counseling to help you deal with it.  Hopefully you can get to a place where you don't feel sad looking at wedding photos but can smile thinking about the day you married the person you love.

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    OurWildKingdom
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2016
    I spent the first 38 years of my life in deep clinical depression.  Nothing could be done for my condition until medical science developed seratonin re-uptake inhibitors.  Becoming physically normal was a huge change in my life.

    I have no desire to re-do any of the past milestones in my life.  My wedding day was very unpleasant for me, due to family issues, but I married Mr. Right, and we now have a wonderful life together.

    Set your eyes on your future, not your past.  Nothing can be done to change your past, but you have control over your future.  Get counseling.  It is a long road to a good life ahead of you.  Good luck!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdomMesmrEwe
  •       I regret my wedding (not my marriage) While I was planning my wedding ... We didn't know then but we now know I was mentally ill. So the outcome of my wedding was way less than perfect. it haunts me I didn't get my perfect day because I was sick. so the outcome was disastrous. I'm much better now but I cant even think about wedding without becoming sad. What can I do to help this feeling

    I didn't know I was sick. mental illness truly sucks My religion and my beliefs are you only take a vow once. So I cant do a vow renewal. I had gained so much weight now I'm back to a healthy size. I have yet look at my pictures because all I see is me being sick.

    What Can I do?
    No wedding is perfect.  No one has a perfect wedding day.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2016
    I'm confused. Unless it was some three ring circus of bad execution, I don't see how your illness factors in. Almost no wedding is perfect, regardless of the health of the bride or groom.

    ETA: I don't mean that to sound insensitive; I just don't get what could have been so awful that you think your health affected it.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I agree with the idea of planning a belated honeymoon or anniversary trip. And get counseling. Even if you feel you are 'better' now, it can never hurt to talk with a professional.
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    OurWildKingdom
  • Totally agree with PPs.  A celebration of your health, and your marriage, would be a great thing, whether that's a special honeymoon trip or an anniversary party.  

    If your pictures give you such negative feelings, I would try not to dwell on them.  They're a record of then, not anything more than that.  If you have the budget, I'd get dressed up with DH, hire a photographer for an hour or two, and get some nice posed shots of you guys now.  Or, if you felt it would be helpful, you and DH could do something like a trash the dress shoot (fun pictures, plus, as a bonus, you get to take out some of your stress).

    I also think PPs had a good point that very few weddings are picture perfect, 100% complete visions of what any couple wanted.  Your wedding was awesome because you married your person, not because of the decor or dress or meal choice or anything like that.  Maybe with some outside counseling and additional perspective, you could find one or two positive memories to focus on when you start to feel the day could have been better.
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    Anniversary


    OurWildKingdomSP29OliveOilsMom
  • What's in the past is there for a reason, the thing to do now is focus on the future and spin the wheels in motion to plan your life ahead.  Set a 3-day weekend with your H and purchase a dress that makes you look/feel grand - and go out to dinner with YH and just make it a night, just the two of you and make it special! 

    Also, you need a great coach/counselor/NLP Practitioner/etc. that can help you working on the issues you have for now and into the future.  The success rates are so much better when you've got someone competent in that role helping you through the process (they can only assist, you're the one who does the work)..  Good luck with everything as you navigate!!!!!

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    OurWildKingdom
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