Dear Prudence,
My husband and I have been married for three years. I am about to turn 30, and we are discussing the possibility of having children, although we are both leaning no. I have never felt a maternal need for kids, though I would love to have a dog. I have friends with children and while I love playing the part of auntie, I am exhausted after spending a day with them. When I think about kids, I mostly think about the negatives: They are expensive, we won’t be able to travel, and I have a family history of mental illness and some other diseases I would hate to pass down. There is one thing that keeps me from saying “no,” and that is that I am afraid of being alone when I am old and can’t fend for myself. I see my grandmother and have no idea what she would do if it weren’t for my mother and her siblings. I recently visited my old nanny in a state-run nursing home and it left me with nightmares. Should we have a child to make sure someone is there to care for us? Should we look into the Hemlock Society? I should add that I am generally not a strong person and have told my husband many times I pray that I die before he does.