Small Wedding & Inviting the Pastor - Dilemma

Re: Small Wedding & Inviting the Pastor - Dilemma

• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  March 2016

  I think they should be invited especially since you are members of his church and the ceremony and reception are in the same place.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2016

  I would invite them.

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• CMGragain member

  

  March 2016

  Since the pastor has to travel to your wedding site, you should invite him to stay for the reception, and his wife should also be invited.
  

  

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• AddieCake member

  

  March 2016

  I would invite them.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• jacques27 member

  

  March 2016 edited March 2016

  I think it's just time to adjust your vision.  It would be rude to not invite him (and his significant other).  Your wedding can't happen without an officiant.  Besides you and your future spouse, this person is THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON to be in attendance.  Without this person there, you wouldn't have the event you're celebrating.  It would be a huge slight to not invite them to the reception afterwards.
  
  Presumably you picked this person to officiate because you like them (well enough that you joined their church).  And pastors are generally pretty good at getting along with all sorts of people and making conversation - it comes with the job.  It will be fine.  Invite them.

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• scrunchythief member

  

  March 2016

  At my uncle's wedding I was seated next to the priest that married them and the rest of the table was family.  It was nice to talk to him and he had some really cool wedding stories.
  
  I don't think it'll be awkward, if that's what you're worried about.

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• SP29 member

  

  March 2016

  I would also invite him (and his SO if he has one).
  
  Anyone in attendance at the rehearsal SHOULD be invited to the rehearsal dinner- so you are not extending an extra kindness there.
  
  If the officiant is truly a vendor (you hired them for this one day, you are paying them a usual fee for a service), then it is not required to invite them to the reception, though still a nice gesture. We invited our officiant and his wife; they declined.
  
  But when you are talking about the minister of the church you belong to, you are crossing lines into familiarity (and correct me if I am wrong, but often members of the church are not paying the minister like a vendor- usually a donation to the church/congregation?). Thus- invite him and his SO.
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  March 2016

  SP29 said:

  I would also invite him (and his SO if he has one).
  
  Anyone in attendance at the rehearsal SHOULD be invited to the rehearsal dinner- so you are not extending an extra kindness there.
  
  If the officiant is truly a vendor (you hired them for this one day, you are paying them a usual fee for a service), then it is not required to invite them to the reception, though still a nice gesture. We invited our officiant and his wife; they declined.
  
  But when you are talking about the minister of the church you belong to, you are crossing lines into familiarity (and correct me if I am wrong, but often members of the church are not paying the minister like a vendor- usually a donation to the church/congregation?). Thus- invite him and his SO.
  

  This is not necessarily true.  It depends on the church.  In the United Methodist church, the minister often charges a set fee.  There is usually a discount on the venue fee if you are a church member, though, since your contributions support the building upkeep.  Fewer couples are choosing to marry in the church building these days, so this arrangement makes sense.
  

  

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  March 2016

  Have you checked with your photographer and DJ/musician(if you're having one) about meals as well?  It's not unusual that they're contracted that you provide a dinner as well.  And another "yes" extend the invitation to your pastor and his/her SO... 

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• KnickerGold member

  

  March 2016

  Interesting, never thought of this, as the priest marrying us is my Dad's cousin! But I agree, if the pastor is invited to the rehearsal dinner, and he's not just a hire-for-the-day then yes, he needs to be invited to dinner. 

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