Sorry, not sure if this should be on the etiquette board or the vow renewal board?
Parent in laws are planning a 40th anniversary vow renewal on a cruise ship. I'm guessing this is 75% PPD because MIL has often talked about how she really didn't get her "big day" (eloped at 19).
So her expectations:
- me and SIL to be bridesmaids, in dresses she picks (and I assume I will have to pay for mine).
- wedding dress for her (she has already picked a dress from a mature bride type magazine)
- EVERYONE that she wants on this cruise will be there (FIL wanted to renew vows on Viking river cruise- MIL said no, insisting on cheaper cruise so that "everyone" will be there, this will still cost people ~$1000 each).
i want to gently point out to her somehow that, even in a destination actual wedding, you can't expect everyone to be there, as you can't dictate how people spend their vacation time and money. And with this being a vow renewal and not an actual wedding, your expectations need to be even less.
Should I say something? Or just let it be? Part of it is I don't want to be expected to shell out for a cruise that I may or may not be interested in, plus a BM dress, or what is basically a PPD+anniversary party.