Just needing a space and moment to vent, feel free to disregard.
FI has been pretty non-opinionated about wedding stuff from the beginning. He says he is excited to be married, and he agreed that he wanted to have a wedding where our relatives were invited and at our church. But he has never been a very romantic person, overall, and so planning any wedding stuff really is not his thing.
For the most part, that's okay. I know the wedding day is not the end-all-be-all, and don't expect it to be "THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE", but, mea culpa, I am excited about it, and I want to plan a good party for our family and friends. I really try to avoid gushing too much about it to my bridesmaids, because I know firsthand from being a bridesmaid that you don't want wedding talk to be the only thing you and your friend talk about. I try not to talk wedding stuff too much with my mom, either, because she gets kind of stressed out about it. Usually, I bring my wedding talk here, to TK, and am super glad I have this place as my outlet.
But man, I get frustrated with FI sometimes. This is OUR wedding, not just mine. When we planned our budget for the wedding, we decided not to get a wedding planner to keep down costs. I knew that would mean I would be doing most of the work. Granted, I don't expect him to get all gushy about attire or flowers or music, so I don't even bother him about those things and just do them on my own. But I feel like he should be able to listen to me when I want to update him on some of the decisions we've made (like what hotels we have blocks made at, or where I made our registry for) and would like his input/ involvement on some of things, too (are there any items he would like me to put on the registry, does he want to go home or stay at a hotel for our wedding night, what does he want in a wedding ring, does he care when and if we have any kind of honeymoon). But he got really annoyed at me yesterday; we were having lunch out at a restaurant when I brought up how we really out to figure out getting wedding rings. He got short and pissy and accused me of ruining the afternoon by bringing up wedding talk. I'm sorry -- you're marrying me, right?
I think he gets annoyed because he thinks I don't trust him to get stuff done unless I nag him about it. And truth is, I guess I don't. I waited patiently for 7 months for him to resize my engagement ring (an heirloom in my family which my dad gave to him to give me), which he said he would do when we first got engaged. I didn't say anything. His parents had visited us 3 months afterwards, it still wasn't resized, and his mom admonished him. He said he'd be on it. And another 4 months passed. I finally hit my limit and told him I was going to the jewelers and he could come and be a part of it or not. He has forgotten my birthday before, and usually forgets to do anything for Valentines day until Valentines day itself. I give him some slack on those things, but all the same, it hasn't engendered a lot of faith in my that he's going to remember to get me a wedding ring if left to his own devices.
I love him, but I am so, so aggravated right now. He claims that he is busy and stressed. I know that. But I'm a bit busy and stressed myself -- I'm not JUST wedding planning in my spare time. I'm sort of trying to get through law school and work on the side. Right now I'm on Spring Break, so I am putting a lot more energy into wedding planning while I have some time off. I realize that I'm probably being way more annoying to him than I think I am, and probably just need to chill out and not talk wedding stuff to him at all for a while. But goddamn, he's the groom. I may not be entitled to having any other person on the planet give a fuck about our wedding or anything related to it, but shouldn't he?