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Snarky Brides
marissaskisses
member
Just a Rant...I HATE, and I mean HATE my MOH's boyfriend
So I have never really liked the guy, and I have remained civil out of respect for my MOH but seriously the guy is garbage and I'm trying my best to not lose my ish on him prior to the wedding because I don't want anyone to be awkward. She complains about him constantly, he's had 4 jobs in the past year, he is the most dependent cry baby I have ever met in my life (seriously I know 7 year old children who are more independent than this guy), and he is virtually incapable of taking instruction.
Last month I received a Facebook message from him asking for assistance keeping her occupied on a specific day because he was throwing her a surprise birthday party. I went out of the way creating a fake wedding event for her to attend to get her out of the house, detailed for him (WORD FOR WORD) the discussion he needed to have with her in order for everything to go off without a hitch. over a week later, he did not ever have any discussion with her so she planned her own freaking party on that same day! I AGAIN outlined EXACTLY what he needed to say to her to get things back on track. He has a discussion with her, she cancels her event then proceeds to tell me that she can't come to my event because the BF told her she can't make ANY plans as he has planned the whole weekend. Keep in mind, as this was a fake event to begin with I don't really care if I cancel it, however the constant cleaning up his messes for a party he is supposed to be planning is absurd. He has done ZERO actual planning. I came up with the theme and games, another friend is hosting the event and they are doing potluck, so he doesn't even have to be responsible for food.
This man can literally do NOTHING right and I am really dreading as we get closer to the wedding. I am getting married in a different state so we have to travel for it. I am very concerned his lack of being able to do anything is going to put some hiccups in the plan, and I really DO NOT want to spend any significant amount of time with him. I just hoping he won't be able to come due to yet another job change...My MOH has mentioned on multiple occasions that she needs a break from him, so I'm quite certain she would have a much better time without him as well.
GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Last month I received a Facebook message from him asking for assistance keeping her occupied on a specific day because he was throwing her a surprise birthday party. I went out of the way creating a fake wedding event for her to attend to get her out of the house, detailed for him (WORD FOR WORD) the discussion he needed to have with her in order for everything to go off without a hitch. over a week later, he did not ever have any discussion with her so she planned her own freaking party on that same day! I AGAIN outlined EXACTLY what he needed to say to her to get things back on track. He has a discussion with her, she cancels her event then proceeds to tell me that she can't come to my event because the BF told her she can't make ANY plans as he has planned the whole weekend. Keep in mind, as this was a fake event to begin with I don't really care if I cancel it, however the constant cleaning up his messes for a party he is supposed to be planning is absurd. He has done ZERO actual planning. I came up with the theme and games, another friend is hosting the event and they are doing potluck, so he doesn't even have to be responsible for food.
This man can literally do NOTHING right and I am really dreading as we get closer to the wedding. I am getting married in a different state so we have to travel for it. I am very concerned his lack of being able to do anything is going to put some hiccups in the plan, and I really DO NOT want to spend any significant amount of time with him. I just hoping he won't be able to come due to yet another job change...My MOH has mentioned on multiple occasions that she needs a break from him, so I'm quite certain she would have a much better time without him as well.
GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Just a Rant...I HATE, and I mean HATE my MOH's boyfriend
I feel like it's necessary for every woman to date one of these schmos for a while. I don't know why, but it is. Kind of like it's necessary and good for (general) you to be poor when you first move out of your parents' house - it's part of growing up and becoming an adult.
Luckily most of us move on and go, "holy hell what was I doing?!". Hopefully your friend is "most of us".
Edited for typo
Hopefully she gets past him but honestly, I wouldn't have listened to anyone else's opinion when I was in the midst of a relationship like that. When friends said anything I was all 'you just don't understand us!'. I just knew I would change him! You just need to be there for her in the wings if/when she needs you. And drink a lot of whisky when you're out with him to get you through it.
I hear you. My college roommate and I have known each other for 20 years, and she's been with so many jerks during that time. One hit her, one cheated, one stole money from her father (also his boss). All I can do is be there to listen and support her and show her by example that things can be better for her. That's all you can do. ((((((Hugs)))))))) to you.
I dated 1 guy like this in college, but I was with him for 4 YEARS! I look back now and think I must have been extremely drunk the whole time. There were 3 of us in the relationship: Him, his mother, and then me. If we had problems, she would call me about them. He called her when he woke up, before we went to do something, and before he went to bed. EVERY FUCKING DAY. It took me forever to realize that this wasn't healthy. But when I did and I broke up with him, it was the most liberating day I've ever had. Our mutual friends have told me that he still can't keep a job and got some exchange student from Germany pregnant. Only thing I miss from that relationship was the dog.
Mine would constantly text me when I was at work, didn't follow through on anything, put me down, was a huge jack ass. And if anyone tried to tell me that when we were together I would have gotten defensive and told them to mind their own damn business. And we were together for four years.
Then I dated a few losers I felt I couldn't break up with because they'd be too sad/dejected/whatever if I dumped them. Or the guy who would never be able to pay his studio apt rent without me, and I felt so bad dumping him because he'd have to go live with his parents again.....
Yeah, it took me a while to realize that sometimes "too hard on him" really means "showing any consideration or respect at all for me."
Here is a reality check:
1. He is not married to someone else.
2. He has not molested you or a member of your family.
3. He is not wanted by the police.
4. He has not physically attacked you or a member of your family.
5. He has not threatened you with physical harm.
6. He is not addicted to illegal drugs.
7. He is not an alcoholic.
I am presuming some of the above because you haven't mentioned it.
I get it - you don't like him. You don't have to. That is not required. What is required is that you treat him with politeness for as long as he is in a relationship with your mother. It is HER decision to make, not yours, so butt out.
PS. Many of the things in the above list did apply to my ex-stepfathers. Mom had lousy taste in men. She never liked my husband, either, and he was very tolerant of her.
As I already stated I am doing everything in my power to not go off on the guy and have treated him civilly for the entire length of their relationship.