Dear Prudence,
I was secretly in love with a close guy friend of mine for many years. We’re now in our 30s and both married (to other people) with children. I haven’t heard from him in a while, despite reaching out to him about once a year. I just received a response to my latest attempt to reconnect, in which he admitted to pushing me away because he had been in love with me and it took him a long time to accept that things were not meant to be! I no longer have feelings for him and am happily married. I’m just angry with him for only saying it now. I’m having trouble shaking the feelings of anger and resentment. I haven’t responded yet, and I’m wondering—should I respond and say, surprise, I felt that way too, or just let it go? Even though I’m angry, I don’t know if it is a good idea to basically do the same thing to him at this point in our lives and make him reconsider past actions. But I wonder if being honest will give us both some closure. Or maybe it would just make me feel better to tell him the truth, finally. What do you think?
—Tell Him, or Tell Him Off