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Remembering a Groomsman

Knottie1439487487Knottie1439487487 member
10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
edited April 2016 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
One of FI's groomsmen recently passed away unexpectedly. We aren't going to ask anyone to stand in his place, it doesn't seem right for a multitude of reasons. I'm wondering if anyone has ideas on how we can honor our friend in a tasteful way on the day of without making it a sad occasion. 
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Re: Remembering a Groomsman

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Knottie1439487487 said:
    One of FI's groomsmen recently passed away unexpectedly. We aren't going to ask anyone to stand in his place, it doesn't seem right for a multitude of reasons. I'm wondering if anyone has ideas on how we can honor our friend in a tasteful way on the day of without making it a sad occasion. 
    Wow,  I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss (and FI's).  Did he have a favorite song you could incorporate into the ceremony or reception? Did he have a favorite color you or FI could incorporate somehow? 




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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  You're right, having someone stand in his place would be disrespectful.  Having an outright memorial would make the occasion sad, and would be distracting from the true reason for the event.  You could play his favorite song at the reception, use his favorite color, or incorporate a favorite food into the meal/appetizer.  


    image
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Oh I'm so sorry for your loss!  How heartbreaking. 

    If you plan on having a program of leave his name in. I like the idea of using his favorite color or something in. What were his hobbies?  For example, is he was a fisher you could wrap the bout in fishing line, or if he was j to sports, wear his favorite teams shirt under his dress shirt. Just keep it small enough so attention isn't called to it but personal enough that you and H are aware it's there. 
    image
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  • poodledoodleooopoodledoodleooo member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    We had "memorial flowers" at the alter to honor our lost loved ones, but we didn't call any attention to them.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm very sorry for your loss.

    That said, I agree with keeping any memorial gestures to him subtle and not overt.

    Does your FI have anything that belonged to or is associated with the groomsman? Can you provide food or drinks he liked, or a song he liked?

    Also, if your wedding is religious, you can mention him in appropriate prayers.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So sorry for your loss :(

    Good suggestions from other posters.
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