Welcome to the b list..or is it c list

softkittywarmkitty · April 2016

Last week my fiance gets a message from a friend asking for,our address to send a wedding invitiation...yay.
Fast forward to today when we get the invite....addressed to FI and guest....as and it this month! On the 30th AND the RSVP is in 3 days!!
It's a Saturday and I work both jobs and,my schedule is made already so I can't go, but I told FI he is free to attend but he isn't sure he wants to.
I'm really insulted, I feel like FI was an after thought or a gift grab.

Eta words and fix spelling

MobKaz · April 2016

I would be declining that "invitation". If someone knows me well enough to invite me, then they should show enough respect to not only invite me via the "A List", and list my SO by name.

mntravelingmama · April 2016

Wow. How rude.

kimmiinthemitten · April 2016

Yeah that would be an easy decline for me. What did your FI say?

softkittywarmkitty · April 2016

He's torn. He was very excited to be invited and bummed I agreed, but he doesn't have a lot of friends since he left the Navy and stopped partying.

MesmrEwe · April 2016

softkittywarmkitty said:

He's torn. He was very excited to be invited and bummed I agreed, but he doesn't have a lot of friends since he left the Navy and stopped partying.

Get a small modest gift (cheese grater maybe - spatula - something from the lower end of the registry - and right away so it's not the last minute nothing left on the registry gift) and tell him to go! I get that the C, D, E, F, G lists aren't popular, but he was thought of enough to be invited, go... (H was sending out invites so late it wasn't funny - I was doing the "WTF!" for how late he was sending some of them - it was because he had procrastinated in finding addresses of people, and we had an unlimited guest list so wasn't a waiting list situation)

thisismynickname2 · April 2016

If I were your FI I'd go. I've been B-listed before (not so close to the date like you guys) but I look at it like, eh, excuse to go have some fun. Bring a small gift, socialize, call it a day.

pinkcow13 · April 2016

Is it possible that they may have just planned the wedding very fast? My friend and her FI decided a couple of weeks ago to get married on April 29th. We received the invitation last weekend with an RSVP date of April 15th. It's possible to plan a wedding last minute.

[Deleted User] · April 2016

I get where you are coming from. But I have to agree with @pinkcow13. A friend of mine organized everything in 3 weeks. She had a dress & things were planned but then they had a baby & wedding got put on the back burner due to costs. A few years later, they decided ok, we're finally doing it & they got a hall & with family help, 3 weeks later, there was a wedding.

softkittywarmkitty · April 2016

As far as I know, they've been engaged a while. There is no registry information, and if he decides to go, we will have to find cash. We are trying to put money away for our own wedding and he is looking for a job.

I asked if it was a quick wedding, FI told me no.

MandyMost · April 2016

Since the invite was addressed to your FI and guest, I think your FI should go and bring a friend. Only because you can't make it.

If you can't afford a gift, then don't give a gift. Just give a nice card. It's not the end of he world. Gifts are not required. Have you looked online for a registry, though? There should never be registry info in an invite.

softkittywarmkitty · April 2016

scribe95 said:

Look, if he doesn't want to go or you don't have money for a gift then say no.

But you came on accusing the couple of blisting when it is quite possible they did not. I just don't see thinking the worst in people without definitive proof.

I'm sorry, I think the fact that the RSVP date is 2 days after we got the invite and the fact that as far as I know it is not a quick wedding is definitive enough for me to call it b listing.

Even if we could have gone, the RSVP wouldn't have made it back to them in time, this sounds reasonable for you.

AddieCake · April 2016

If he was excited to be invited, then he should go.

AddieCake · April 2016

scribe95 said:

Sorry, I deal with facts. Definitive to me is the bride or groom saying directly they blisted. I know a ton of people who don't have their shit together and could just space and sent the invites late. Could you be right? Possibly. But I don't really see that it matters. You said he was excited to go. So go. You are the one making it an issue.

I agree. I feel like an issue is being made where there doesn't need to be one, like "ZOMG, you guys! Look at this! We were B-listed!" And my thoughts, of course, were, really? Another couple with some rudeness somehow attached to their invitation? Color me shocked.

While it does appear you might have been B-listed, it's also possible you weren't. The important thing is that your fiancé said he was excited, so who cares, then? Doesn't wanting to go and being excited trump giving a damn about being B-listed?

levioosa · April 2016

I'm pretty sure people think my friend is B-listing. She sent her invites out with a 2 month in advance RSVP date so, "people would have time to get their shit together and have plenty of time to send them in." Oh, honey, that's not how it works...

ILoveBeachMusic · April 2016

levioosa said:

I'm pretty sure people think my friend is B-listing. She sent her invites out with a 2 month in advance RSVP date so, "people would have time to get their shit together and have plenty of time to send them in." Oh, honey, that's not how it works...

Invites can be sent out 8 weeks (two months) ahead of time so I don't understand why people think she is B listing.

STARMOON44 · April 2016

ILoveBeachMusic said:

levioosa said:

I'm pretty sure people think my friend is B-listing. She sent her invites out with a 2 month in advance RSVP date so, "people would have time to get their shit together and have plenty of time to send them in." Oh, honey, that's not how it works...

Invites can be sent out 8 weeks (two months) ahead of time so I don't understand why people think she is B listing.

No, her reply date is 8 weeks before the wedding.

sparklepants41 · April 2016

levioosa said:

I'm pretty sure people think my friend is B-listing. She sent her invites out with a 2 month in advance RSVP date so, "people would have time to get their shit together and have plenty of time to send them in." Oh, honey, that's not how it works...

I am pretty sure we have the same friend. She sent the invites out 3 months before the wedding, and the RSVP date is 8 weeks before the actual wedding date.

levioosa · April 2016

ILoveBeachMusic said:

levioosa said:

I'm pretty sure people think my friend is B-listing. She sent her invites out with a 2 month in advance RSVP date so, "people would have time to get their shit together and have plenty of time to send them in." Oh, honey, that's not how it works...

Invites can be sent out 8 weeks (two months) ahead of time so I don't understand why people think she is B listing.

She sent her invites out in January. The RSVP date is DUE 2 months and two days before the wedding. And she says her vendor needs a hard-count 2 weeks out, which is kind of weird.

ILoveBeachMusic · April 2016

STARMOON44 said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

levioosa said:

I'm pretty sure people think my friend is B-listing. She sent her invites out with a 2 month in advance RSVP date so, "people would have time to get their shit together and have plenty of time to send them in." Oh, honey, that's not how it works...

Invites can be sent out 8 weeks (two months) ahead of time so I don't understand why people think she is B listing.

No, her reply date is 8 weeks before the wedding.

Oh sorry, I misunderstood. Yeah, that's crazy.

Jackie_Jormpjomp · April 2016

Last summer we were invited to the wedding for a co-worker of my FI's. We have hung out with them as a couple a handful of times and they definitely knew we were engaged - but when we received an invitation it was addressed to "FI and guest", and the groom made no bones about letting FI know we had been b-listed.

Was I a little annoyed that these people who clearly know who I am didn't include me on the invite? A little, but I didn't really care about B-list status, because I don't consider them that close of friends.

That's just how these things work sometimes.

ei34 · April 2016

OP, as some PP have said, if your FI is excited he should attend.
My cousin got married last September (9/26)...we received our invitation in May and the RSVP date was mid-July. Not to brag about making the A-list, but...

LabLove86 · April 2016

eileenrob said:

OP, as some PP have said, if your FI is excited he should attend.
My cousin got married last September (9/26)...we received our invitation in May and the RSVP date was mid-July. Not to brag about making the A-list, but...

I find this almost as obnoxious as the late invites honestly. There is such a thing as too early.

levioosa · April 2016

LabLove86 said:

eileenrob said:

OP, as some PP have said, if your FI is excited he should attend.
My cousin got married last September (9/26)...we received our invitation in May and the RSVP date was mid-July. Not to brag about making the A-list, but...

I find this almost as obnoxious as the late invites honestly. There is such a thing as too early.

Yeah, receiving invites in Jan/Feb for a June wedding was a little rough. I have no idea what I'm doing in June in the middle of April. Neither does SO. His work might have a mandatory meeting or trip. So I RSVPd yes, but that could change, and I honestly don't feel like that's our fault.

Welcome to the b list..or is it c list

Re: Welcome to the b list..or is it c list

Choose Another Board

Search Boards