How to Address: SO or Plus 1?

Re: How to Address: SO or Plus 1?

• levioosa member

  

  April 2016

  tigerlily6 said:

  Hi all,
  
  A silly question, but one I've been scratching my head about. I have a good friend coming to the wedding whom I talk with regularly, and she's had a strange situation develop over the last few weeks. She is anticipating a break up with her long-time partner -- their relationship has been on the rocks for a while, so I was not greatly surprised by this. It's a slow, weird process because they live together and right now she doesn't have the funds to move out elsewhere. I do really believe that this is the end of things, for them, though. They've been trying to make things work for over a year and it's just not happening. 
  
  Additionally, for better or for worse, she has started seeing somebody else on the side, known to me but not to her partner.
  
  My question is, how do I address the invitation? Do I address it to "Ms. Jane Doe and Ms. John Smith (current partner whom she intends to leave)" or do I address it to "Ms. Jane Doe and Guest." ? 

  Ehhh, I would just address to her SO, and if they break up, you can let her know that she is welcome to bring someone else.  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report2 Reply
• madamerwin member

  

  April 2016

  I would ask your friend what she prefers.

  

  Report7 Reply
• SP29 member

  

  April 2016

  I'd ask her what she would prefer.
  
  People can be broken up but live together due to finances (my parents lived together for a few months after they announced their separation until my mom found a house), so this person your friend is seeing may actually be her SO.
  
  
  

  Report5 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  April 2016

  You could always address it to your friend alone, and insert a note that says "You are invited to bring a guest".
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• alhaley88 member

  

  April 2016 edited April 2016

  My now fiancé received an invitation addressed to him "and guest". I think that is how we will address ours.

  Report0 Reply
• PamBeesly524 member

  

  April 2016

  Honestly, if she's a good friend and you talk regularly I would just address it to her and tell her verbally that she can bring whoever she wants. I know it's not "proper" but it avoids all that awkwardness of addressing to someone.

  

  Report1 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  April 2016

  I would just address it to her. If it's possible for you to hand-deliver it, I would do that and tell her at that time it includes a plus-one of her choice.

  Report0 Reply
• madamerwin member

  

  April 2016

  alhaley88 said:

  My now fiancé received an invitation addressed to him "and guest". I think that is how we will address ours.

  You should only address it to "and guest" if the person you are inviting is truly single. Whoever addressed an invitation to your FI "and guest" (assuming this was recent) was wrong not to invite you by name. You should definitely invite any significant others by name.

  

  Report4 Reply
• SP29 member

  

  April 2016

  madamerwin said:

  alhaley88 said:

  My now fiancé received an invitation addressed to him "and guest". I think that is how we will address ours.

  You should only address it to "and guest" if the person you are inviting is truly single. Whoever addressed an invitation to your FI "and guest" (assuming this was recent) was wrong not to invite you by name. You should definitely invite any significant others by name.

  Just to add, so you are aware @alhaley88 "and guest" means the person on the invitation can literally bring ANYONE of their choosing- date, mother, cousin, college roommate. In addition to the fact that individuals should be addressed by name (you have a name- you name is not "guest"), it means that your guests, should their SO be unable to attend, can bring someone else. While some B&Gs may be cool with this, you might not be.
  

  Report2 Reply