Wedding Etiquette Forum

Macy's wedding registry

FI and I went to Macy's over the weekend to start our wedding registry and I'm pretty sure that some of the registry "features" are weird/rude/against etiquette.

First, they have this thing called "Registry Star Rewards" where you get 10% or 5% of the purchase price of gifts on your registry when you link your Macy's card to the registry. We don't have a Macy's card so we didn't "enroll" in this, but it seems kind of weird.

The worst part, to me, is that they have this thing called "Dream Fund". The lady that was setting up our registry account tried to tell us that it was just a way for guests to contribute to our registry by buying us a gift card, but instead of getting multiple gift cards we would just get one. I told her that we didn't want anything on our registry that looked like we were asking for gift cards. She then said that is a "really great program and that what happens is when guests come into Macy's and asks a store employee for help with picking out a gift, the employee will ask their budget and if our guest says $200 and they end up buying us a gift that is $150.00, the store employee will tell them that they can then contribute that $50 to our dream fund". She also said that its great also because some people register for really expensive items than their guests can't buy anything off their registry so all the guests just contribute to the "dream fund" and then they can use that money towards anything they want.

I tried to tell her that we didn't want it and that we didn't want our guests to be solicited to contribute towards any type of funds. But she insisted and FI and I were tired of arguing with her and asked if we would just be able to remove it online and she said sure, but didn't understand why we would.

She also asked how many guests we were inviting to our wedding and I told her she handed me a HUGE stack of paper insert that say "We registered at Macy's!" for our "wedding invites" :neutral:

We decided to register at Macy's because they have a wide variety of things we need/want for our new home at decent prices and they are a convenient location for our wedding guests. Also, they offer a 20% completion discount at the lowest price that it has sold for in the last year. However, their dream fund thing kind of makes me want to majorly side eye it and register else where.

Re: Macy's wedding registry

  • I don't have a problem w/the Registry Star Rewards; we didn't do it, but it's not something guests will see or know about anyway. 

    But I definitely side-eye the "dream fund"... If guests cannot find anything in their price range on your registry, everyone knows cash is a fine gift. You should definitely remove it, and it's lame the Macy's person pushed it SO hard.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I went with Macy's for my registry too and found the "Dream Fund" to be super gross as well. You can go online to your registry and delete it though.
  • Well, keep in mind that Macy's is there to make money.   They're not there to do the right thing.   If doing the right thing was part of the game then you'd never see a drunk in a bar and there would be no hot dog eating contests on the 4th of July.

    That said, some of this isn't entirely bad.

    1) The rewards program does work well if you want to do a completion discount.  There are people who opt to get the Macy's charge just for this one occasion and then if they do get wedding gifts in cash (common in my area) you can opt to put that cash towards the other items on your registry like place settings, towels, etc.   And of course the idea is that you keep the charge and continue to shop at Macy's because they're totes the best.

    2) The dream thing annoys me but I want to say that other places did things like this.   I ran into someone over 13 years ago who had a registry at Bergdorff Goodman and the registry was basically this.   Her marriage failed and only a few people bought gifts so she took the registry money and bought Manolos instead. 

    It's annoying that Macy's is doing this but I give them credit for smart marketing.   Really, they're trying to capitalize on the same things that honeymoon registries do and they're trying to take the guess work out of when people chip in on one big item.   

    That said, I'd be removing it from my registry too.

    3) A lot of stores give the cards.   They're technically OK in shower invitations but I really prefer to just see the places where a couple are registered as a printed line on the invitation vs. extra confetti. 

    Keep in mind that creating the registry is in a way about your guests as much as it is about you.   We registered there because it is the one main department store in state that's easily accessed by our guests and many had Macy's cards.   If Macy's is a convenient department store for your guests then I'd keep the registry going there just for them and then take off the things you don't want.

  • I did my Macy's registry entirely online so thank gods I didn't have someone pushing these things bathe rewards thing didn't bother me much either because I already had a Macy's card, and I just opted out of the Dreamfund because gross. 

    I will ill say the Macy's completion discount is good and the customer service and thank you manager was really useful when we received a few gifts that didn't have cards we were able to see who had purchased them. 
  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2016
    If you go to your registry on the Macy's website, you can remove the Dream Fund thing just like you can remove any other item you decide you don't want. That's what I did.  
  • We registered at Macy's and they set us up with a Dream Fund, but we were able to easily go and delete that option online before we told anyone our registry information.
    I agree with you, if someone wants to give me cash I want the option of where/how I spend it. 

    They also gave us the free "here's where we're registered" cards but I didn't use them. A line saying where we're registered was put on the bottom of my shower invites by the hosts.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Good thing you can go and delete the Dream Fund afterwards!

    Bad taste, but I see why they do it.
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    Having had worked in retail for so long, it doesn't surprise me one bit that they pushed so hard on the Dream Fund thing. Those kinds of things are usually a goal based thing that can affect your review. You are expected to meet a certain goal of people signing up and if you don't meet your goal, it can lower your score on your review. 

    Part of the reason I left retail and working in wholesale clubs. Hated having to try and push a paid membership when they could get a free one for 60 days.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009

  • Damn, I wish we had a Macy's in Grand Junction!
  • I am registered at Macy's and put most of my registry together online but went to the story to look at a few things.  Once the sales person found out I was setting up a registry they sat me down and gave me a 40 minute sales pitch regarding the dream fund and the invitation cards with registry info.  I was so exhausted and annoyed after that I didn't even finish my registry.  
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Personally, I have TK to thank for telling me that having gift cards- and in this case, the dream fund- on the registry was tacky. It was automatically loaded onto my Crate & Barrel registry so I just deleted it. Thanks TK!

    But on the Macy's note, maybe the experiences vary by store (as many things do). I accompanied my best friend to one of their sip and scan events (her FI couldn't make it) and we had a lot of fun. No one tried to push anything on us but cupcakes. And free wine on a Friday after work? Don't mind if we do! 

  • I tried as best as possible to follow etiquette for my wedding and in regular life but OP please don't beat yourself up over the dream fund. A lot of people understand and will understand that is was there on accident.  It's not like you have gofundme or honeyfund. I wasn't a huge fan of registering so don't feel like you HAVE to register somewhere else on principle if it doesn't make sense for your FI and you.

  • lnixon8 said:
    I tried as best as possible to follow etiquette for my wedding and in regular life but OP please don't beat yourself up over the dream fund. A lot of people understand and will understand that is was there on accident.  It's not like you have gofundme or honeyfund. I wasn't a huge fan of registering so don't feel like you HAVE to register somewhere else on principle if it doesn't make sense for your FI and you.

    But - the Fleet Farm Registry is the only one that 100% of the items were purchased from to the point we had to go back and add more!  (really, it was the most practical store of our registries that the items fit guests' price-points, it was convenient for them to shop since there are a ton of them in WI & MN,  and having the practical gifts was awesome!!!)
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