Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Grandma Flower Girls??

So, I don't really like children, and am having a more "adults only" wedding. I thought a really neat idea might be to have the matriarchs of the family lead the way down the isle by being "Grandma Flower Girls". My fiancé is concerned that using only the two grandmas with our last name would leave the other two grandmas' (mothers parents) feeling left out. Do you like this idea and are there any suggestions for alternative involvement in the wedding for the two grandma's who would not be flower girls?

Re: Grandma Flower Girls??

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited April 2016
    Ask the other two grandmothers to do readings, and give all four of them corsages.

    ETA: As @SaintPaulGal pointed out, why not ask them to be your bridesmaids?
  • I really like the idea. I'm getting married in August and this was our original plan but we also had an issue with the two grandmothers we werent really close with. We had to scrap the idea due to mobility issues with one of the gma's but I would do it in a heartbeat. We do not have any little girls in our family so we thought our grandmas would be the next best thing.

    It is ultimiately your wedding so you do what you want. Maybe have the other two grandparents read a passage?

    casmcgr1313
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I don't think there's any reason you can't ask your grandmothers to be in your wedding party or to do readings, but for the love of the Deity, don't ask them to be "flower girls."  They are not little kids and should be treated with dignity.
    OurWildKingdomholyguacamole79TheDeathLlamajaprincess24
  • Flower girls are top of the list of things you don't need whether you have kids at your wedding or not.


    Knottie1452098987japrincess24Knottie1452857639
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    We didn't have flower girls or ring bearers and we still had kids at the wedding.

    I think it is a personal decision of how you include your grandparents, but I would make sure it is done so fairly. Personally, mine and DH's grandma's would have been insulted to be flower girls but every person is different.

    Knottie1452098987casmcgr1313
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited May 2016
    You could still have them lead the way down the aisle, but not as flower girls. I'm going to ask my brother and SIL to escort my Grandma. My parents and FMIL will be next (FMIL on one side of my Dad, my Mom on the other). My niece and (I hope) SD as flower girls and my nephew as junior bridesman will follow them, then our bridesmaids, and finally FW and I will walk down the aisle together.
  • Erikan73 said:

    What if you have your processional start out with all of the grandparents being escorted to the seats, then followed by the parents, then bridal party (if you have one) and then your entrance. This way the grandparents are still standing out as special individuals, but without any kid like titles.

    This is common at Jewish weddings - FH's grandparents will be starting the processional and taking reserved seats in the front row. 
    OurWildKingdomSP29lc07
  • @londinium thanks for sharing that information. I love learning new things about different cultures and religions.
  • I am having my grandmother's (and my fiance's grandma) participate, however I am calling them my "Flower Ladies". We are not having a denominational ceremony, there will be no readings, and this was the best way for me to include them. They've been informed they can wear whatever they want, I would just love if they would be a part of it. I intend on having my grandfather also participate, I'm just not sure how yet...he might escort them down the aisle.

    When I asked them, both grandmothers were a little shocked and thought it was silly. But now LOVE the idea of being involved. They have now thrown themselves into finding dresses (my only request was they be comfortable, and preferably not wear like Neon Orange...otherwise whatever). They also tell absolutely everyone. 

    I also intend on buying them corsages, and the living grandfather a boutonniere. 

    I vote you do whatever YOU want, just take your grandmother's feelings into consideration. Will she (or they) feel like you're making them into a child or will they feel they are being included in their granddaughters event and they are special. 
  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    The living grandfather?


    OurWildKingdomHeffalumpShesSoCold
  • I commented here to give the original poster a different viewpoint. What's the point of a discussion thread if not for that?  If you want to mock people for that, go ahead. As @artbyalliepointed out (very respectfully) you can't speak for anyone but yourself. You can't speak for anyones grandmother but your own.

    Just be glad, none of your are invited to my wedding, so you won't need to witness the flower lady spectacle. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I commented here to give the original poster a different viewpoint. What's the point of a discussion thread if not for that?  If you want to mock people for that, go ahead. As @artbyalliepointed out (very respectfully) you can't speak for anyone but yourself. You can't speak for anyones grandmother but your own.

    Just be glad, none of your are invited to my wedding, so you won't need to witness the flower lady spectacle. 
    She asked us for advice, and that's what we gave her. If that many of us don't think her idea is a good one, we're not going to give her advice on how to implement it by way of "discussion" or "different viewpoints."
    Knottie1452098987OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueensjaprincess24
  • casmcgr1313casmcgr1313 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2016
    @artbyallie My apologies, I did not intend on twisting your words. I was merely pointing out we have a different opinion on the subject, but that you didn't take everything the bride posted and make assumptions or mock her. I respect your opinion, and I appreciated your response because you gave your opinion but stated that it was alone your opinion. Once again, my apologies if it sounded like I was twisting your words.

  • cgra40cgra40 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments
    Jen4948 said:
    I don't think there's any reason you can't ask your grandmothers to be in your wedding party or to do readings, but for the love of the Deity, don't ask them to be "flower girls."  They are not little kids and should be treated with dignity.
    This. 

    I love over the idea of including all four grandmas but hate that you are referring to them as flower girls. 

    Don't  have them throw out petals or any other cutesy stuff. I'd have them all four read something. Maybe have them each write a small passage (like one paragraph) on marriage to read. The eldest could read first. "As this ceremony begins, we the matriarchs of these two families gathered to day to celebrate the unification of blank and blank, would like to share our wisdom and give our blessing. " then they each read a small thought on marriage and are seated. If the grandpas are also alive they could stand to walk these ladies back to their seats. 

    You our could have them do this prior to the bridal procession but I would personally have them do this after my father had walked me down the aisle and before the officiate begins so that I could enjoy their words and have them bless me and my FI together. 

    That at would be a dignified way to include them. And they wouldn't need to stand for long which is sometimes difficult. 
    OurWildKingdom
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