Wedding Woes

Officiant trouble

  So FH and I had agreed to use the same guy who did his mom's wedding. This was before we had ever met so I don't know the man. But it was the one part he felt was important to him. He called the guy and apparently has "turned his life around". He is still a minister, but now I'm nervous. Now he is more religious, and says he will be doing some readings. I am far from any of that. Now I have to meet a guy who I'm worried will turn our wedding into a sermon about sin. My music choices will probably piss the guy off. Manson, Korn, Zombie... Yeah. If he even decides to do it after meeting me that is. FH also forgot to mention my daughter from a past relationship. If the guy has a problem with that..... Finding another. 

Re: Officiant trouble

  • did you have a question or were you just venting?
    mrsconn23
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Okay? Tell your FH that you're not comfortable with this officiant. 

    mrsconn23charlotte989875InLoveInQueens
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2016
      So FH and I had agreed to use the same guy who did his mom's wedding. This was before we had ever met so I don't know the man.
    Wait, your FI hired him for his wedding before he even had a bride?

    ETA, JIC:

      So FH and I had agreed to use the same guy who did his mom's wedding. This was before we had ever met so I don't know the man. But it was the one part he felt was important to him. He called the guy and apparently has "turned his life around". He is still a minister, but now I'm nervous. Now he is more religious, and says he will be doing some readings. I am far from any of that. Now I have to meet a guy who I'm worried will turn our wedding into a sermon about sin. My music choices will probably piss the guy off. Manson, Korn, Zombie... Yeah. If he even decides to do it after meeting me that is. FH also forgot to mention my daughter from a past relationship. If the guy has a problem with that..... Finding another. 
    charlotte989875mrsconn23
  •   My music choices will probably piss the guy off. Manson, Korn, Zombie... 
    Are you walking down the aisle to A.D.I.D.A.S. or something? Not sure how this is relevant. 
    ShesSoColdOurWildKingdomsparklepants41
  • Music for before the ceremony on Manson, Evanescence, Grateful Dead, Poison. So yeah I know alot of people's feelings on Manson specifically the many times I am told I am going to "burn in hell" at concerts, the mall, school. 
     We are hoping to sit down with the officiant next week and go over anything I'm concerned about. And your right if the guy doesn't jive he shouldn't be done something so important for us. If FH can't deal with that then our views are a problem and need worked out before the wedding.
    SP29JediElizabeth
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Heffalump said:
      So FH and I had agreed to use the same guy who did his mom's wedding. This was before we had ever met so I don't know the man.
    Wait, your FI hired him for his wedding before he even had a bride?

    ETA, JIC:

      So FH and I had agreed to use the same guy who did his mom's wedding. This was before we had ever met so I don't know the man. But it was the one part he felt was important to him. He called the guy and apparently has "turned his life around". He is still a minister, but now I'm nervous. Now he is more religious, and says he will be doing some readings. I am far from any of that. Now I have to meet a guy who I'm worried will turn our wedding into a sermon about sin. My music choices will probably piss the guy off. Manson, Korn, Zombie... Yeah. If he even decides to do it after meeting me that is. FH also forgot to mention my daughter from a past relationship. If the guy has a problem with that..... Finding another. 
    I think she meant the mother's wedding happened before OP met FH.
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Music for before the ceremony on Manson, Evanescence, Grateful Dead, Poison. So yeah I know alot of people's feelings on Manson specifically the many times I am told I am going to "burn in hell" at concerts, the mall, school. 
     We are hoping to sit down with the officiant next week and go over anything I'm concerned about. And your right if the guy doesn't jive he shouldn't be done something so important for us. If FH can't deal with that then our views are a problem and need worked out before the wedding.
    Is this 1997? Are you a teenager? 

    charlotte989875lnixon8InLoveInQueens100yroldblinddog
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited April 2016
    I think you are jumping the gun here.  Do you actually know that this officiant will have a problem with you or your wedding?  I think you should wait until you meet with him before you worry too much.  Go over what you want and if your views for the wedding and his don't match up, then find another officiant.  I understand wanting the sentimental value of using mom's officiant, but I think having one that is accepting of you is more important.

    image 

    OurWildKingdomShesSoCold
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    edited April 2016

    I agree with @Princessleia22. I think you're assuming quite a bit here. Unless this officiant is a strict LDS or JW or other strict religion (which is unlikely because those types of officiants probably wouldn't be able to perform weddings outside their own places of worship), you're probably fine with your taste in music.

    Also, only kinda sorta related, but the thought that Marilyn Manson and music like that is "devil music", more so than like, Britney Spears (keeping with the late 90s theme here) is humorous to me. Like, a lot.

    Edited to finish a thought

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    charlotte989875lnixon8kimmiinthemitten
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Music for before the ceremony on Manson, Evanescence, Grateful Dead, Poison. So yeah I know alot of people's feelings on Manson specifically the many times I am told I am going to "burn in hell" at concerts, the mall, school. 
     We are hoping to sit down with the officiant next week and go over anything I'm concerned about. And your right if the guy doesn't jive he shouldn't be done something so important for us. If FH can't deal with that then our views are a problem and need worked out before the wedding.

    Wouldn't the bolded be better played during the reception?  You won't even be around prior to the ceremony to hear most of that music.  I also can't imagine that most of your guests will be happy sitting around listening to that very specific genre of music.  I say this as someone who likes songs from all those bands and has an eclectic group of music on my ipod. 

    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueens
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Can you find classical arrangements of some of the songs you want?
    Paul Anka also does some good covers.
  • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2016
    My pastor (so obviously religious) when I was a kid and teenager loved Metallica (and Arnold Schwarzenegger), and rode a Harley. Just because someone is really religious, doesn't mean they're going to side-eye your music. 

    Two religious pastors conducted (right word?) a funeral I attended. One was our fairly conservative (but super cool) pastor. The other (who I didn't know) was a biker friend from out of town. The biker pastor wore denim and leather with his collar (I vaguely remember something religious on the back of his jacket). And heavy metal (godsmack - never listened to them before - for sure, don't remember what else, but it was really heavy) music played at the beginning. So heavy that the director explained you don't usually hear music like that there, but his FI asked it be played because it was the CD he played in the truck all the time. My point is - two very religious officiants presided over that funeral. You don't automatically know that he's going to brand you a heathen and want to force his vision on you. 
    charlotte989875OurWildKingdom
  • Thanks everyone for the advice. I hadn't thought at looking for instrumental versions. Probably jumping the gun on what an officiant might think about music choices. @climbingwife wish I was a teenager again but nope 35. And believe me "freak" is still a common insult people try to use. 
  • Grow up and live in small town USA Bible belt, still happens. I go to college classes at IvyTech, and yes punks still have no problem calling people freaks and harassing people for the way they dress. 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Grow up and live in small town USA Bible belt, still happens. I go to college classes at IvyTech, and yes punks still have no problem calling people freaks and harassing people for the way they dress. 
    Still one of my favorite scents on the 4th of July!


    MesmrEwe
  • Grow up and live in small town USA Bible belt, still happens. I go to college classes at IvyTech, and yes punks still have no problem calling people freaks and harassing people for the way they dress. 
    Living between small towns & NYC my entire life, I understand how some areas really do feel around 20 years behind the times. I get side-eyed if I play Rise Against or something too loudly in my home town, and I just Do Not Understand. 
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2016
    Music for before the ceremony on Manson, Evanescence, Grateful Dead, Poison. So yeah I know alot of people's feelings on Manson specifically the many times I am told I am going to "burn in hell" at concerts, the mall, school. 
     

    What?!?!?!  No Metallica???  No Nirvana???  No Motorhead???  No Nuge???   - If you're going all the way - GO ALL THE GD WAY! 


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    OurWildKingdom
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I just heard a radio ad for a concert this summer with Korn, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein and Slipknot. For a moment I thought I was in 8th grade.
    Damn, I'm old! That was my early to mid-20s!
    MesmrEwe
  • I just heard a radio ad for a concert this summer with Korn, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein and Slipknot. For a moment I thought I was in 8th grade.
    Damn, I'm old! That was my early to mid-20s!

    Ditto...
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