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Giving Bridal Shower Thank You Cards in Person?

TyvmTyvm member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Some of my guests at my upcoming FSIL-hosted bridal shower are very considerately shipping the gifts to our home across the country prior to the Pennsylvania Bridal Shower. Is it appropriate to thank the guests in person for the gifts *and* give them their thank you card at that time? Or should I just wait and mail them all?

k thnx bye

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Re: Giving Bridal Shower Thank You Cards in Person?

  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think you're saying you'll get the gifts prior to the shower?

    I personally would save the gifts and open them at the shower. It may feel awkward for people if it appears they did not give you a gift at an event specifically for that purpose. In that case, you would mail them with the rest of the cards.

    If you'd rather open them beforehand, then I think it would be fine to give the thank-you in person.

    Just don't open the gifts at the shower and give them the thank-you at the the same time. Notes need to be specific so that would be pretty rude to pre-write them IMO!
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  • TyvmTyvm member
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    @spockforprez I am not going to bring the bridal shower gifts from where I live on the west coast, to the Bridal Shower on the east coast, and then bring them all back with me (plus more), back to the west coast. Noooooope.

    I'm guessing the majority of the gifts will be shipped to our home and will be unable to be opened at the shower. So is it appropriate to hand out thank you cards at the shower, or should I wait for a different opportunity, or should I just mail all of the thank you cards?

    k thnx bye

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  • TyvmTyvm member
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    I'm sorry, I didn't understand that your shower was on a different coast from where you live. I thought your guests lived far and were coming to you.

    @spockforprez Yeah, my wording was a bit ambiguous. Because we're planning the wedding long distance there are two showers being hosted, both far from me (and not far for my guests). So I'm traveling for them and that makes this advice twice as useful   ;)

    k thnx bye

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Tyvm said:
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    @spockforprez Yeah, my wording was a bit ambiguous. Because we're planning the wedding long distance there are two showers being hosted, both far from me (and not far for my guests). So I'm traveling for them and that makes this advice twice as useful   ;)
    I wanted to add, I lived far from where my shower was held so a number of people shipped gifts to me directly. For things that came in the few days before the shower I just waited until I got back (I only went into town for the weekend) and did them all at the same time so I didn't forget any in the days leading up to traveling. Other than that I would just send a thank you as soon as you receive the gift. 
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Mail the thank you cards. Handing them out in person looks lazy and cheap. 
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  • TyvmTyvm member
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    @adk19 Yes! Exactly! Thanks so much for the advice/scenario! I shall become a thank you card mailing machine  ;)

    k thnx bye

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  • JBB28JBB28 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I had a similar situation. I mailed the thank yous and printed out pictures of the gifts I received before to show at the shower.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    adk19 said:
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    Okay.  So, let's see if I understand this.  I live in PA, you live in TX.  A friend in PA is throwing you a shower in PA.  I'm invited to the shower and probably attending.  What I'm going to do is ship the crockpot I chose from your registry to your home.  It's big and heavy and I don't want you to have to deal with trying to get it home to TX.  But I'm not going to want to show up to the shower empty-handed.  So, I'm going to wrap up and gift to you a ladle, six bucks tops.  Or a crockpot recipe book.  Something that will obviously go with the main gift I gave you, but be less awful to travel back home with.

    What you do is send me a TY note when you receive the crockpot.  You mail it to me from TX.  Then, after you open the ladle or cookbook, you mention to everyone in the room that this will go great with the crockpot that I had shipped to your house, "Wow, thank you!"  Then when you get home to TX after the shower, you send me another TY note for the ladle or cookbook.

    Don't use any of the gifts until after the wedding.
    Yes, although for the gifts that came the day or two before we left I did wait until the I got back from the shower. I had a number of guest do exactly what you posted, shipped the gift and brought a small complimentary gift to the shower. I sent one thank you note for both gifts. 

    Maybe this was wrong but I wanted to make sure I thanked guests for each gift they gave me, rather than just one or the other. As for the bolded, this seems redundant to me when they are essentially part of the same gift. If you have both the crockpot and the ladle at the same time you wouldn't expect two thank you notes. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I vote send them in the mail only because I enjoy getting something in the mail that isn't junk mail or a bill.

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