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Someone needs nar-anon...

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 
My adult daughter is an addict. I never thought I would find myself in this predicament. If it were someone else, I would say, “Cut her off!” But I want to maintain a relationship with her. I am truly torn between thinking that it is in everyone’s best interest to sever ties until she gets and stays clean, or continuing talking with her (not about drugs—she is in denial even after serving two prison terms for possession). Can you give me guidance one way or the other?

—Can’t Cut Her Out

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Re: Someone needs nar-anon...

  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Yeah, she definitely needs Nar Anon and a lesson on loving detachment.

    Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Possession of what? Given the fact that the drug war is laughably horrid, and not really about drugs at all, and she doesn't say anything else about her daughter's life...Well, I need more information. 
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  • lembasloverlembaslover member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I think there's a difference between cutting her off financially and cutting her off emotionally. If she's giving her money that funds her drug problem then yes she needs to cut her off but I don't think she should stop talking to her daughter. I'm sure nar-anon would be able to give her better advice on to how to really separate that.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Talk to a professional. Why is Prudie your go-to on this one?

    But seriously, there are people who can actually help you navigate these issues.
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  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
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    baconsmom said:
    Possession of what? Given the fact that the drug war is laughably horrid, and not really about drugs at all, and she doesn't say anything else about her daughter's life...Well, I need more information. 
    I get what youre saying about the war on drugs. But even if it was just possession of marijuana the fact that shes been to prison twice for it means the daughter needs to make some life changes; that's not your average stoner.


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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Maybe she just needs to live in a state where that won't get you arrested. Maybe she's a person of color, and therefore ridiculously more likely to get stopped by police, searched, and then thrown in jail for a plant. 

    Like I said, I would need more information to judge this one. If all you're saying is "She got arrested for possession", that's not enough to say one way or the other that she's an addict, that she needs to be cut off, etc. 

    FTR, I'm all for jettisoning addicts - emotionally and financially - I just don't know in this case that she is one. 
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    LW specifically said prison, so unless she meant jail, it is pretty excessive for marijuana possession.  It was either possession of marijuana with intent to deliver exceeding a certain amount or a narcotic drug.

    Not the source I wanted but it will work:
    http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/oct/14/bernie-s/bernie-sanders-says-people-are-getting-prison-sent/
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