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Booze info on wedding website?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are having our ceremony and reception at a brewery and providing beer and wine for guests. There is liquor available, but we are not hosting that. Do I need to put that on our wedding website, or is providing a menu at the bar good enough?

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Re: Booze info on wedding website?

  • ernursejernursej member
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think menus listing the available choices is perfect. Wording like "The following beverages are available ..." I wouldn't say "Jane and John are hosting the following" as some may think that they can go ahead and purchase something that isn't being hosted.
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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
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    ernursej said:
    I think menus listing the available choices is perfect. Wording like "The following beverages are available ..." I wouldn't say "Jane and John are hosting the following" as some may think that they can go ahead and purchase something that isn't being hosted.
    But they can, right?

    If only wine and beer were hosted, I would definitely want to know I was able to buy liquor, because I don't drink wine or beer. I mean, don't throw it in their faces, but I wouldn't want to insinuate that guests are not allowed to have the liquor right in front of them, provided it's still out at the bar.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    It is inappropriate to serve anything your guests have to pay for. Do not make liquor available at all if you are not hosting it.
    image
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    artbyallie said:
    It is inappropriate to serve anything your guests have to pay for. Do not make liquor available at all if you are not hosting it.
    Some venues may not allow for this. They may refuse to remove the liquor bottles so that people can still purchase them (they're still out to make money. 

    I would but a sign at the bar that says "X beers, Y wines compliments of Knottie# and FI". That way people know what is hosted. 
    This is what I'd do as well.   A lot of venues aren't going to take down the entire bar and I think you'll be hard-pressed to find one that will.

    If someone wants to pay for something that isn't hosted, it's on them.   
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    ernursej said:
    JediElizabeth said:
    ernursej said:
    I think menus listing the available choices is perfect. Wording like "The following beverages are available ..." I wouldn't say "Jane and John are hosting the following" as some may think that they can go ahead and purchase something that isn't being hosted.
    But they can, right?

    If only wine and beer were hosted, I would definitely want to know I was able to buy liquor, because I don't drink wine or beer. I mean, don't throw it in their faces, but I wouldn't want to insinuate that guests are not allowed to have the liquor right in front of them, provided it's still out at the bar.
    Personally, I think it is rude for a guest to purchase something that isn't being hosted. That is like going over to someone's house for dinner and when you don't like what is being served, you pull out your own supplies. 
    I agree.   That you "can" doesn't mean that you should.

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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
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    ernursej said:
    JediElizabeth said:
    ernursej said:
    I think menus listing the available choices is perfect. Wording like "The following beverages are available ..." I wouldn't say "Jane and John are hosting the following" as some may think that they can go ahead and purchase something that isn't being hosted.
    But they can, right?

    If only wine and beer were hosted, I would definitely want to know I was able to buy liquor, because I don't drink wine or beer. I mean, don't throw it in their faces, but I wouldn't want to insinuate that guests are not allowed to have the liquor right in front of them, provided it's still out at the bar.
    Personally, I think it is rude for a guest to purchase something that isn't being hosted. That is like going over to someone's house for dinner and when you don't like what is being served, you pull out your own supplies. 
    That's a good point. If I were comfortable and had my FI & a couple of other people I knew at the wedding, I'd definitely stick to it. But if not, I'd indulge in at least one or two mixed drinks. As far as rudeness goes, it's a pretty victimless crime (I doubt B&G will notice my drink), and would probably make my night several thousand times better than being the lone sober person at the table.

    I don't think it's cool for the B&G to pretend like it's not available at all when it's clearly out there, and some people will want it. If people indulge, it may be rude, but it's also not something they need to police. (Rather like it's rude to be in the aisle with your camera during a ceremony, or have your phone out at dinner, but it's even more rude to tell people not to do it or otherwise stop them.)
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    The "Going over to someone's house" analogy always backfires...

    OP - just state what you are hosting if you are putting your menu up on the website..  Also, please be kind and host some NA's as well!

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  • ernursejernursej member
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    MesmrEwe said:

    The "Going over to someone's house" analogy always backfires...

    OP - just state what you are hosting if you are putting your menu up on the website..  Also, please be kind and host some NA's as well!


    I don't think it backfired. Several Knotties have used that for many other arguments. This is no different.

    At the end of the day, I'm sure it doesn't really matter if people purchase their own special drinks at a wedding where some types of booze are hosted, but I find it quite rude and would side eye it.

    To me, this is one step away from the hosts saying "here are 10 tickets for free booze because 'most people' would be fine with 10 drinks ... but if that doesn't apply to you, you can purchase additional drinks yourself".

    I should have had a margarita and a cupcake prior to posting, but I'm feeling irritated. I'll go and have them now.

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    I don't think it's really a victimless crime to buy your own drinks.   If I was the bride offering beer and wine and saw someone with a vodka tonic I'd clearly get the message that the guest wasn't satisfied wI think my offerings.   And that would be a bit insulting.    
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    edited May 2016
    I think if you don't want people buying their own drinks you should host them properly and either pay for any drink they might order from the bar or select a venue where there aren't going to be liquor bottles on display that you aren't paying for. I don't think the guest who buys something in this situation is the rude one.

    They prob aren't satisfied with your offerings, because your offerings are see all this stuff you might want? It's right here and I'm showing it to you but not buying it for you!
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    STARMOON44 said:
    I think if you don't want people buying their own drinks you should host them properly and either pay for any drink they might order from the bar or select a venue where there aren't going to be liquor bottles on display that you aren't paying for. I don't think the guest who buys something in this situation is the rude one.

    They prob aren't satisfied with your offerings, because your offerings are see all this stuff you might want? It's right here and I'm showing it to you but not buying it for you!
    I disagree with this! We are always telling brides that they should host what they can afford. Also, what about dry receptions? Hosting properly doesn't mean providing whatever the guests want to drink. It means providing, at no cost to the guests, appropriate food and beverages.
    Perfectly fine! But I think hosting a dry reception in a venue with a full, visible bar, where if guests order things they can see the bar will sell to them, isn't a great idea. And I don't think a guest who orders something is being rude. 
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    banana468 said:
    STARMOON44 said:
    I think if you don't want people buying their own drinks you should host them properly and either pay for any drink they might order from the bar or select a venue where there aren't going to be liquor bottles on display that you aren't paying for. I don't think the guest who buys something in this situation is the rude one.

    They prob aren't satisfied with your offerings, because your offerings are see all this stuff you might want? It's right here and I'm showing it to you but not buying it for you!
    They can do the same thing if you host at a venue that's a restaurant but don't offer their full menu.   If the menu is posted and a guest sees that they could have had Oysters Rockefeller as an appetizer or baked stuffed lobster for dinner or lava cake for dessert is that suddenly the fault of the couple for letting the guest see the menu options but not offering them?    
    I don't think this is the same thing at all. If they randomly order off menu, and then venue says "sorry not an option" fine. What I understood here is that if they order something else at the bar, the venue is going to go ahead and sell it to them. 

    Just to be clear- I don't think offering a limited menu is a problem. But I also don't think a guest who sees a bottle of vodka on visible display, orders a drink, is told "that's $7," and pays for it is doing anything wrong. If it is very important to you that people not do this, plan accordingly. 
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