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Completely lost between marriage license and marrying abroad! Please help!

My fiancé and I are planning on getting married in Finland. We want to make it super simple, no frills, just family and a simple dinner. Is it easier to get married first in the US and then do a religious ceremony or blessing overseas? Or do we get the marriage license and then get married in Finland and sign the paperwork? Just need help from brides that have done it before. We will only be in Finland for two weeks so I'm afraid that that paperwork may take longer? 

Thanks in advance!

Re: Completely lost between marriage license and marrying abroad! Please help!

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    van7315 said:
    My fiancé and I are planning on getting married in Finland. We want to make it super simple, no frills, just family and a simple dinner. Is it easier to get married first in the US and then do a religious ceremony or blessing overseas? Or do we get the marriage license and then get married in Finland and sign the paperwork? Just need help from brides that have done it before. We will only be in Finland for two weeks so I'm afraid that that paperwork may take longer? 

    Thanks in advance!
    Firstly, a Finnish destination wedding from the US can never be described as "simple, no frills" as you are asking people to fly internationally and spend thousands. A DW is fine, but the first, unbreakable rule of a DW is:  If you are inviting people to go to Finland to see you get married, you need to actually get married (no "Blessing," no "spiritual service after a US civil ceremony," an actual: Arrive at the venue unmarried and leave the venue married, legal ceremony).

    You need to call the Finnish embassy and see what visas and paperwork you need to do. Are you or your fi EU citizens? A US marriage license will not work in Finland. You need to research and find out what paperwork you need to get a Finnish license. A church wedding in Finland many have more requirements than a registry office wedding. 

    If you get married in the US- congratulations, that is your wedding day. Whatever you have in Finland is just a dinner party and should not be treated like a wedding or have a wedding reenactment. You are a wife at this point, not a bride. You need to be absolutely honest with all of your guests that you are not having a wedding in Finland (and be prepared for declines- I wouldn't fly internationally for a dinner). There are so many stories on here of people who have been lied to and spend thousands on a destination "wedding" that turns out they were already married. Lying to your family is one of the worst things you can do.  

    Why not have a simple, no frills wedding in the US and honeymoon in Finland? You and your husband can even say private vows to each other in Finland somewhere beautiful without asking your family to spend so much. 
    This ^^^

    PrettyGirlLostKnottie1452098987
  • We aren't inviting anyone to Finland. My fiancé is from there and we are taking my sons and just us to go see his family over there. It would literally be just the 4 of us and his family. 
  • We wouldn't be able to do something in the US. He works abroad and we have 1 day before we leave to Finland. There are many other constraints that we have between our jobs, time and many reasons why I would like to do something in Finland for his family that resembles a ceremony.  I know that two "weddings" is a hot button issue because many women on this forum are very opinionated about it and hence why I didn't ask about that. I appreciate your input but it was off topic and not what I was looking for. 
  • If your FI Is actually Finnish then perhaps he can contact the embassy to find out what the legal requirements are. Beyond that, google is your friend.
                 
  • Ok I think I see where my confusion is. If we get married in Finland then the license must be from Finland. 
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited April 2016
    van7315 said:
    Ok I think I see where my confusion is. If we get married in Finland then the license must be from Finland. 


    Yes, that is absolutely correct!


    I'm a US citizen, I married in Australia and have an Australian marriage license. It is legally binding in the US, so if you plan on living in the US, make sure it has the appropriate apostile seal that the US recognizes.


    edit because before caffeine

     







    van7315SP29Knottie1452098987
  • Yes, we plan on eventually moving to Finland in a few years. Just crossing our fingers that this oil and gas slump passes first as we are both in the industry.
  • My question is this: why would you decide you're going to get married in Finland without bothering to look into the logistics of doing so?
    image
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostKnottie1452098987InLoveInQueens
  • Floridabride44 that was never my question. I was asking how people do the marriage license here and get married abroad but as I stated before, I was getting confused on the location of where you apply for your license.
     On top of that, if someone wished to get married in the US and go abroad and do a ceremony, they have every right to do so. It is not our job to tell them what they can or cannot do unless they right out ask... Which I did not. Many people have various reasons to do ceremonies in several places. For example, in my case, my fiancé and I are long distance and he is also away from his family. He is only given 2 vacation times to go home to Finland. He is the only son his late father had and his family would like to see him get married but do not have the money to travel. On top of that, my family cannot travel as my mother is caregiver to my grandmother who has Alztheimers and cannot leave the house for hours. This is just a glimpse of the many complex situations that brides face but may not disclose on forums because they choose not to. I do not wish to turn my situation into a debate about double weddings. All I wanted was information on what would be the easiest route if I only had two weeks and needed to apply for a marriage license abroad. Or given the tight timeline, would it be better to... Opinions from those who have gotten married abroad... legally get married in the US and then do a blessing or play dress up if that's what you want to call it, overseas since we are already flying there anyways and have our trip booked.
    Furthermore, I have been looking online for information but was obviously confused as to the information that I was reading and that's why I asked for help from those that have planned a destination wedding abroad... Or an "abroad dress up session".
  • Ernursenj thank you for your reply. What I had originally thought people did was apply in the US and then take the marriage license with them abroad and have the person doing the ceremony sign off.... Obviously I was wrong on that interpretation. Given the time constrains that we have both here in the US and Finland this summer we've decided to push the date back and use another vacation time he will be given to get married instead. 
    ernursejKnottie1452098987
  • Thanks for those that contributed... Wish there was a way to mark this question as resolved! 
  • van7315 said:
    Floridabride44 that was never my question. I was asking how people do the marriage license here and get married abroad but as I stated before, I was getting confused on the location of where you apply for your license.
     On top of that, if someone wished to get married in the US and go abroad and do a ceremony, they have every right to do so. It is not our job to tell them what they can or cannot do unless they right out ask... Which I did not. Many people have various reasons to do ceremonies in several places. For example, in my case, my fiancé and I are long distance and he is also away from his family. He is only given 2 vacation times to go home to Finland. He is the only son his late father had and his family would like to see him get married but do not have the money to travel. On top of that, my family cannot travel as my mother is caregiver to my grandmother who has Alztheimers and cannot leave the house for hours. This is just a glimpse of the many complex situations that brides face but may not disclose on forums because they choose not to. I do not wish to turn my situation into a debate about double weddings. All I wanted was information on what would be the easiest route if I only had two weeks and needed to apply for a marriage license abroad. Or given the tight timeline, would it be better to... Opinions from those who have gotten married abroad... legally get married in the US and then do a blessing or play dress up if that's what you want to call it, overseas since we are already flying there anyways and have our trip booked.
    Furthermore, I have been looking online for information but was obviously confused as to the information that I was reading and that's why I asked for help from those that have planned a destination wedding abroad... Or an "abroad dress up session".
    Unfortunately, when you post on the Internet, people will comment as they see fit. Many of us have traveled to a DW and later found out that it was a sham because the couple was already married. If you get married in the US, the Finland family is left out. If you get married in Finland, your US family gets left out. I think you and your FI need to figure out what is important and then plan one event. People may surprise you and travel. 
    [Deleted User]floridabride44
  • Here is the information your need to be married in Finland:

    http://finland.usembassy.gov/marriage.html

    Finland is one of the easier counties for US citizens to get married.  No religious restrictions.  Your FI should be able to arrange some of this for you, but you will have to appear in person to get the paperwork done.

    Please don't have a fake wedding overseas.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    [Deleted User]SP29OliveOilsMomlovesclimbing
  • DH is from Finland. But, we were married elsewhere. As said above, your license is from the county you are married in. Marriage licenses from most countries are accepted in the US, and, as my in-laws had a Finnish wedding, I know they are accepted here. :)
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
    van7315
  • TyvmTyvm member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    "I do not wish to turn my situation into a debate about double weddings."
    @van7315 I think you've found very quickly that TK will turn every situation into a debate    ;)


    k thnx bye

    van7315gaiadaughter
  • van7315van7315 member
    Ninth Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Tyvm said:
    "I do not wish to turn my situation into a debate about double weddings."
    @van7315 I think you've found very quickly that TK will turn every situation into a debate    ;)
    Tyvm I completely agree.... sometimes it's not even worth asking for help when you know that people are going to turn things around into something else and then you start debating about topics that didn't even matter.  Ugh. LOL Can't we just help each other??
  • van7315 said:
    Tyvm said:
    "I do not wish to turn my situation into a debate about double weddings."
    @van7315 I think you've found very quickly that TK will turn every situation into a debate    ;)
    Tyvm I completely agree.... sometimes it's not even worth asking for help when you know that people are going to turn things around into something else and then you start debating about topics that didn't even matter.  Ugh. LOL Can't we just help each other??
    It's not a debate.  It's a clear issue of a wedding, and not-a-wedding.  A couple can only get married once, unless they get divorced, then they can get re-married.

    Also, a "double wedding" is when two couples get married on the same day at the same time in front of the same guest list.  This is not what you are trying to do.
    InLoveInQueens
  • van7315van7315 member
    Ninth Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    I guess I don't really understand why you wouldn't research this yourself, then perhaps come to a forum like this to seek out anyone in the same situation once you have familiarised yourself with the legalities. Asking internet strangers for advice on anything legal is a certain kind of madness. At worst, you can't trust 100% they know what they are advising you to be true or up to date, and at best you are just asking them to do your work for you.
    @glasgowtolondon I kind of feel like we're beating a dead horse... sorry to be so blunt but I've stated this several times.  I've looked up the information but as I've stated before, I was confused on where the license would have to be obtained.... which then made me even more confused when I was reading the information online from the US embassy and Finnish requirements. Hence why I turned to a forum late at night when I was looking it up because I couldn't very well call the embassy in the middle of the night.  Should have, would have could of... I got the correct piece of information that clarified it all, so it's all good now!
  • HAHA- Typical TK. Assuming you're trying to sham everyone you know! Not once did she imply that she was going to lie....yet EVERY SINGLE time someone wants to have a second set of 'blessings' or  'play dress up' the ladies on this site assume it's going to be ALLLLLL lies...I feel bad for your FH's....they must be on egg shells non-stop if that's how you are in real life! 
  • TyvmTyvm member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    I feel bad for your FH's....they must be on egg shells non-stop if that's how you are in real life! 
    On the bright side, @Squirrel617 , there really isn't an etiquette guide for marriage.


    k thnx bye

  • HAHA- Typical TK. Assuming you're trying to sham everyone you know! Not once did she imply that she was going to lie....yet EVERY SINGLE time someone wants to have a second set of 'blessings' or  'play dress up' the ladies on this site assume it's going to be ALLLLLL lies...I feel bad for your FH's....they must be on egg shells non-stop if that's how you are in real life! 
    I feel a Bingo coming.

    And of COURSE you would defend her. You are planning a fake wedding yourself. And unless you are telling all of your guests that you got legally married before your "wedding," you are lying by omission. 

    I have no problem with a "second set of blessings" as long as all of the guests know that that is what they are taking time and money to attend. I would be pissed if I took days off of work, paid for a flight and a hotel, only to find out that I was watching a re-enactment. If you give me that info ahead of time, I can make a decision accordingly. But not telling your guests is disrespectful.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    SP29sparklepants41InLoveInQueens
  • edited August 2016

    Oops didn't realise this was an old thread.

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    @ThirdWoman please feel free to start a new thread if you need advice or want to ask a question

     







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