Pre-wedding Parties

Flexible bachelorette party

My MOH is planning my bachelorette party and has asked everyone invited if a weekend trip would fit their budgets and they all agreed. MOH has been trying to figure out a weekend that works for everyone and its been very difficult.

MOH was able to rent a house from a family friend for very cheap (we'd only have to cover the cleaning fee $250) from a Thursday to Sunday. It is located in Lake Tahoe and is about a 1-3 hour drive from everyone invited. My MOH and I are both able to take off work for the entire trip and since I have one sister that can't take Fridays off and another that cannot take Sundays off work, it seemed like this would be a good solution so everyone can come and go as they please.

She said she would put together an itinerary of things we could possibly do each day (i.e. Go paddle boarding, go to the beach, bbq at the house, go out to dinner and a bar) and then let everyone know that we will be there Thursday-Sunday and everyone is able to show up and leave whenever.

MOH said that everyone should split the cleaning fee equally if they decide to come. so it would be $35-60 per person(depending on how many people can make it), regardless if they stayed one night or 3 nights. The house has a lot of rooms and everyone would get a proper bed.

I've never been invited to anything like this, so I just wanted to see if anyone felt like this was rude or breaking etiquette.

Re: Flexible bachelorette party

  • I don't think the idea is rude or breaking etiquette provided you aren't planning it (other than saying yes/no to things) and estimated costs were outlined prior to the invites being extended. As the bride, I would personally stay as far away from the process as possible. I'm not a fan of weekends away for bachelorette parties, but I think it is a know your crowd sort of thing. It does sound like it is a very relaxed weekend without the trappings of a weekend away (i.e. x expensive dinner + x expensive outing +, +, +).
  • ei34ei34 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think as long as your MOH lets guests know beforehand about the cleaning fee, she's okay.  The guests can better decide whether or not to attend when they know exactly what it'll cost.
    I appreciate the flexibility your MOH seems to be extending.  I've never taken part in a destination BP, partially because I feel they're excessive, but also because the ones I've been invited to are very all or nothing.
  • This sounds fine to me. I would just try to get an idea of who would be coming which nights so you know if it's worth your time to go for 3 nights. (ex: if only you and MOH can make it Thursday night would you still want to go? Would other friends want to make a 3 hour drive to hang out with 1-2 other people?)

    For my bachelorette party by bridesmaids planned 2 nights in AC. It's about the same driving distance your crowd has. A couple friends are only staying one of the two nights. It's no big deal.
  • Thanks all!
     and @Ghostie625 MOH and I were planning on it being just us Thursday until one of my sisters decided that coming up Thursday-Saturday was better for her than coming Friday-Sunday. We're all a relaxed group so no one really cares if it will be 2-3 people or 6-7 people :)
  • kvrunskvruns member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Is your MOH ok with the cost if others don't end up coming? That'd be my only thought. I'd also see if MOH can share the agenda with attendees ahead of time such as Sat beach day, Sun pedicures or whatever to help people figure it out. 
    Greenjinjo OurWildKingdom
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think it is fine as long as the costs are provided up front.

    I do agree it's fair to split the cleaning fee between all attendees regardless if they stay one night or three since each person will get their own bed (bed still needs to be washed and re-made regardless if someone sleeps in it once or three times).

    I agree about having a rough timeline figured out for the guests, based on when everyone is available.
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