So, I wanted to throw my FI and I's dilemma to you guys, which I have been going over for months upon months upon months, so maybe you can give me some insight. If you don't want to read this, I completely understand.
I have my MOH confirmed, friend of seven years who has been here for my FI and I's relationship beginning to end. To be honest, I do not have any other friends who could be bridesmaids, remotely. I tried to think of anyone, and that's how nonexistent my friendships are. However, my siblings (two sisters, two brothers) have been like my friends my entire life. I do everything with them. I certainly am inviting my sisters to be my other bridesmaids - although I am very uncertain that one will accept, to be honest. Another unnecessary story.
We have been planning to get married for many years now, and initially and for a long time my FI said he wanted to have five or six friends, who were all close to him, as his GM. We also agreed - years ago mind you (my point being that it's been a long time since then so I understand things do not stay the same) - that my brothers would be GM. He still has as many close friends, but suspiciously shortly after I told him I would just be having my MOH and two sisters - 3 - he decided he wanted his GM to be only three friends. Yes, he said he felt very comfortable and satisfied and everything with them being the only friends he included. Separately, he also often reiterated how he likes equal WP members, while I think the entire concept is ridiculous.
The main dilemma:
I would like my two brothers to be in the wedding party. At my sister's wedding where they were ushers, they both went on and on behind her back, with a joking tone but you know when someone still means it, that being ushers was just a terrible idea and they were lower and why couldn't they be GM... etc., etc. My older brother and his wife very nearly had my FI and I be a GM and BM, only retracting it when they decided not to have any, just a month ago. My FI was an usher. I love my brothers so much, as much as my sisters. I thought the solution was to make my brothers "bridesman." They could have roles similar to the GM, but they would be on my side. This was a completely new idea to my officiant. He was not reluctant per sae to do so, and he did not object, but he did want to work out other solutions, mentioning ushers, them being GM, etc.
The conflundering addition to the dilemma:
Secondary, my FI also has two brothers. His brother who has been married had both of them as his only GM. I like his brothers quite well, and I care about them greatly. I consider them family. However, my FI has a strained relationship with one, and he did not originally care at all to have them as GM, which I understand. When I mentioned directly to the officiant that the reason I was conflicted about making my brothers GM, even though my FI was alright with it once I mentioned it, was because his brothers were not GM, and I don't feel right making my brothers GM and his own brothers not be. That just seems wrong to me now, since some factors have changed over the years - like his brother at all wanting him to be a GM. I never would have thought they had that sort of relationship. However, my FI then said he was alright with them being GM.
ETA: Even if I went with all my FI's back-tracking, we would have seven GM and two or three BM.
.... Any thoughts, suggestions on a solution?