Wedding Woes

Rudeness =/= drama llamaing all over

Dear Prudence,
I’ve always had a small tradition with my children that we give a small gift to their teachers at the end of the year—nothing fancy, and we always give it at the end of the year so it won’t be looked on as a bribe (school policy). My daughter, who really loved her teacher this year, finally settled on a small statue. Today she got off the bus in tears. The teacher had given the gift back to her and told her it was unacceptable. I thought there had to be a misunderstanding, and I emailed the teacher. I got an email back from the teacher saying that she had “far too much junk already and didn’t need more.” She added that if we wanted to send her a gift card she’d accept that. (Gift certificates and cash are forbidden according to the school’s policy.) I’m beyond horrified. Do you think this is something I should escalate to the principal? Or should I let it go?

—Rude Teacher

Re: Rudeness =/= drama llamaing all over

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Wow, that is rude as shit. But I'd let it go.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • Teacher could have tossed it afterwards, or maybe regifted, but the reaction about it? Not okay.
    If I was the child's parent, I would mention that my child really enjoyed them as a teacher and wanted to give them something more thoughtful.
    Poor child though :(
    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomSP29
  • ....

    Well.  

    I'm a hot head, so I know how I would be inclined to handle this if it were my child (like mother, like daughter... I still remember when she bitched out my 4th grade math teacher for giving me shit because my arithmetic technique was "non-standard").  However, LW needs to let it go.  She should use this as a teaching moment ("Teacher handled it poorly, you know it's the thought that counts, blah, blah, blah"), and then treat her kids to ice cream.
    That's the reason why I'd talk to the teacher and would try not to go to the principal.    You can win the battle and lose the war here. 
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    ....

    Well.  

    I'm a hot head, so I know how I would be inclined to handle this if it were my child (like mother, like daughter... I still remember when she bitched out my 4th grade math teacher for giving me shit because my arithmetic technique was "non-standard").  However, LW needs to let it go.  She should use this as a teaching moment ("Teacher handled it poorly, you know it's the thought that counts, blah, blah, blah"), and then treat her kids to ice cream.
    That's the reason why I'd talk to the teacher and would try not to go to the principal.    You can win the battle and lose the war here. 
    Exactly. The teachers needs to know her behavior was unacceptable. I'm hoping she is a relatively new teacher and has yet to realize how important this sort of thing is to young students. I'm imagining she would be a bride who would register for a honey fund/ask for cash because she doesn't want anyone's un-needed gifts.
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited June 2016
    There's always a charity willing to accept the donation..  The teacher clearly handled the situation horribly.  It's a personnel matter if the teacher is going against clear policy to send gifts home (not the issue) and tell the kids/parents to come back with something more acceptable to her in the form of gift card.  My vote is go to the Principal...
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    MissKittyDangerkimmiinthemittenSherbie25
  • MesmrEwe said:
    There's always a charity willing to accept the donation..  The teacher clearly handled the situation horribly.  It's a personnel matter if the teacher is going against clear policy to send gifts home (not the issue) and tell the kids/parents to come back with something more acceptable to her in the form of gift card.  My vote is go to the Principal...
    I'd be really sure that I want to be THAT parent when I go to the principal.     
    MesmrEweShesSoCold
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    this is why the 'teacher gift white elephant exchange' is always hilarious.

    Got the world's worst smelling perfume out of it one year.
    MesmrEweMNNEBrideSP29
  • GBCK said:
    this is why the 'teacher gift white elephant exchange' is always hilarious.

    Got the world's worst smelling perfume out of it one year.
    That sounds migraine-inducing.
    MesmrEwe
  • As a teacher, I'm horrified too by what this teacher said to the parent.  But I agree, I wouldn't go to the principle if she was an otherwise good teacher to my kid.  I would tell her what I think of her rudeness though...

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    PrettyGirlLostOurWildKingdomSP29
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I would not go to the principal, but I would tell the teacher that wasn't very polite and then let it go. That's just awful. I have gotten all kinds of junk from kids over the years. You accept it, thank them for it, keep it if you like it or it has sentimental value, and if not, donate it or throw it out after the child is long gone. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    ILoveBeachMusicMesmrEwe
  • I agree to not involve the school but I think it is perfectly acceptable to have a conversation with the teacher. I'm not sure I like the school policy of no gift cards. My parents always gave gift cards that we got to select at the end of the year. Teacher likes coffee ... gc for their favourite place etc. This policy almost forces the hand into edible or something like a trinket which might be crappy. 
    OurWildKingdomILoveBeachMusicMesmrEwe
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