Save the Date Question

Amber+Elliot · June 2016

How soon should we send this out? I have some family from out of town and want to make sure I do this correctly. Thanks for any advice.

dyerwise · June 2016

I've read that it is anywhere from 1 year to 6 months out.

Just make sure that you are only sending the save the dates to people you are 100% on inviting to the wedding.

I'm getting married in October and have been engaged since late 2014. We booked our venue in early 2015 and since October 2015 our guest list has changed. I sent our save the dates 6 months out and didn't send them to everyone on our guest list, only guests we were 100% on, mostly family members.

glasgowtolondon · June 2016

Our wedding will be out of town for 2/3 of the guests so we sent out our STD's 10months in advance. That way our guest have been able to think about logistics and whether they can make it at all. When is your wedding? I'd say if you are over a year out you probably don't need to worry yet.

CMGragain · June 2016

STDs are optional. They are a new practice, but people do seem to like it, except for brides who get excited and send them to everybody, and then need to cut the guest list later. That is a no-no.

glasgowtolondon · June 2016

I'd definitely echo pp's comments about only sending them to people that are absolutely 100% must haves on your guestlist. This will give you a little flexibility should you need it further down the line. Everyone you send a std to must be invited to your wedding, so do yourself a favour and leave yourself some wiggle room! You never know if your budget becomes a problem/several of your single friends get boy/girl friends and you suddenly need to accommodate 10 extra guests...etc, etc. Trust me, that is solid gold advice.

kahluakoala · June 2016

CMGragain said:

STDs are optional. They are a new practice, but people do seem to like it, except for brides who get excited and send them to everybody, and then need to cut the guest list later. That is a no-no.

FWIW, I very much prefer / enjoy receiving a save the date. I live 3k miles from where I grew up and 3.5k miles from where I went to college, so I have to travel for a good 90% of weddings. I would prefer to book my flight much further away than 6 weeks out to minimize cost. Also I travel pretty frequently for work, so even for a local wedding a save the date will encourage me to do just that, save the date, so if my company / a friend asks me to travel or make plans at that time I'll know not to (or consider whether I'd rather do that or attend the wedding). I also don't even mind getting the invites more than 2 months in advance, but that's a can of etiquette worms (apparently).

Tyvm · June 2016

6-8 months is standard. I sent out Save the Dates 10 months in advance. Only send them to your VIPs, since you still have MANY planning months in which to change your mind on how many people, and who exactly , to invite.

Amber+Elliot · June 2016

Thank you all so much, there are so many things I absolutely have no clue about. My mom passed last November, so without her I am pretty much lost. I'm sure I'll have many more questions to ask before my wedding day arrives.

glasgowtolondon - September 26th, 2017. Thanks for your advice. I just want to make sure I give everyone from out of town, plenty of time to make plans should they decide to come.

Amber+Elliot · June 2016

CMGragain - I thought they were relatively new, I don't remember them from previous weddings I had been invited to. I'll make sure that everyone who is sent a STD is also sent a Wedding Invite. Thank you for your help.

Amber+Elliot · June 2016

glasgowtolondon - I will definitely be writing this all down. I want to make sure our day is one we never forget, and that we make it as enjoyable for our guests. But the right way

Amber+Elliot · June 2016

KahluaKoala - Thank you for your input, it does make a lot of sense to do STD's. I love that this gives friends and family more time to make plans to attend.

ernursej · June 2016

@Amber+Elliot, a STD could also be an e-mail or conversation with people letting them know to 'save the date' for your wedding. We didn't send STDs but when we told people we were getting married, those that we were 100% sure we were inviting were told in their personal message that we hope they would set aside the date.

levioosa · June 2016

I am very sorry for your loss, OP. PPs are spot on. STDs are sent 6-12 months out. Only give them to people you know for sure you are going to invite, because once you send someone a STD, you are obligated to invite them (obvious exceptions are violence or threats). On the same note, try not to ask your WP until about 6-8 months out from the wedding. A lot can change in even a year's time with friends. We have a ton of people who post all the time about how they asked friends 1.5-2 years out and now regret it because they are no longer close.

One other thing: while you can send out STDs 6-12 months out, there is nothing wrong with talking to your VIPs and verbally letting them know the date in the meantime. Ideally you have done this already in order to ensure you have made the best effort possible to have them at the wedding.

Save the Date Question

Best Answers

Re: Save the Date Question

Choose Another Board

Search Boards