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Adult Children help!

Knottie1457385505Knottie1457385505 member
First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi all!

So I'm stuck on which adult children to invite to my wedding. I'm inviting two adult children from two different families. There is a third family with adult children where I only know one of them and not the other 2 and the other invited adult children know the one I do. My question is, is it appropriate to only invite one adult child from a family, or must I invite all 3? What if I don't invite any of the three, would that be considered poor etiquette since I invited people that know him? Please help!!
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Re: Adult Children help!

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    scrunchythiefscrunchythief member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Adult children are on their own in terms of social units, so as long as you invite them with their significant other (if they have one), you're free to invite Adult sibling A but not Adult sibling B.  You're also not obligated to invite the adult kids from family 3 just because they know people in families 1 and 2.

    If, however, the siblings all live at home, it might be a little awkward when sibling B doesn't receive an invite.  Or if they're out of town and would travel together with their parents.  It might be nice to invite them if you have the space in those cases, but not required.  

    Also, I'm assuming this is friends, not your family.  It might be a tad sticker to not invite in circles with family, but it's not against etiquette.  My friend did that by inviting some 1st cousins, but not all, and it was fine.  Small grumbles, but nothing major.
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie1457385505 said:
    Hi all!

    So I'm stuck on which adult children to invite to my wedding. I'm inviting two adult children from two different families. There is a third family with adult children where I only know one of them and not the other 2 and the other invited adult children know the one I do. My question is, is it appropriate to only invite one adult child from a family, or must I invite all 3? What if I don't invite any of the three, would that be considered poor etiquette since I invited people that know him? Please help!!
    Technically, you can invite just one.  Depending on dynamics and budget, though, inviting the others may be a good call to avoid awkwardness. 




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    ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    No is the short answer.  The 'don't split up families' etiquette only applies when talking about minors.  For example, if you invited your boss and his wife, would you feel obligated to invite his brother and sister as well?  Of course not.

    Make sure you invite any significant others (call them up and ask the name) and you are good if you ask me. 

    There is of course always a chance that the brother will know that his siblings and parents are going to your event and could feel 'left out'.  But to be honest it would be a bit weird for a grown man to be upset over not getting invited to a wedding of a couple that they don't even know, IYKWIM? 
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    ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited June 2016
    Sorry just to add another example of something similar, we have invited the inlaws of both my siblings.  

    We have invited my sister's MIL, her FIL, their adult daughter and her BF.  We know the whole family.

    However, on my brothers side, we have invited his FI's parents, but not the adult daughter, as it would be weird as we have never meet them.  

    Hope this helps.
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    downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Once the kids are all grown up, the "not splitting up families" rule no longer applies. Adults are their own social units, not connected with their parents. 

    A family friend invited to our wedding had two adult children; one was invited and the other was not. It didn't cause any issues.
    image
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    wmam35wmam35 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    My stepdad's niece was married a few years ago.  Her (now) husband and my brother work together and they are pretty good friends.  I have no relationship with the niece, and a barely there relationship with her parents (my stepdad's brother and wife). When they got married, my mom, step-dad, and brother were invited to the wedding.  I was not and I didn't even care, because I would have known it was a "politeness" invite and would have honestly felt weirder being there.  If you don't have any relationship with the other siblings, then I think you should invite who you want.
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